


Into the Grey

by missrabbitifyanasty



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Angry Kylo Ren, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Childhood Memories, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Sensitivity, Jealousy, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Kylo Ren, Recovered Memories, Redeemed Ben Solo, Repressed Memories, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Skywalker Family Drama, Slow Romance, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, Tension, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-03-15 17:44:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13618455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missrabbitifyanasty/pseuds/missrabbitifyanasty
Summary: Kylo Ren / OC pairing. A troubled woman turned from The Resistance seeks to align with The First Order for her own gain and security. After stowing away on a stormtrooper transport carrier she is brought before Kylo Ren, whose hands hold her fate. Secrets, uncertainty, intrique, and a strange attachment cloud the matter indefinitely for both and neither is certain of what lays ahead





	1. Chapter 1

****

Traitor, some would call her.

Turncoat.

Snake.

Miscreant even.

The list could go on for days as far as Elara knew; not that she could even muster a scrap of mind to care. If she had to choose her own classification, however, at the very least and at her core, her most fitting definition was an opportunist. A lone wolf who lived for and seized each moment as it came and jumped on anything that presented itself at her feet. A wild card, who had, for so many years, pledged no true allegiance and had no bond to anyone or anything to hold her down. A constant observer, collecting what she wanted and what she needed to use as bargaining chips for whatever or whomever could be bought whenever necessary; for good intent or otherwise.

Loyalty, Elara had learned, was useless. Loyalty never lasted, it was but betrayal waiting to happen. Betrayal shrouded in the guise of idealism and a happy ending. She seen too much, lived too much and in experiences past, given too much of herself to all those around her only to be crushed and thrown by the wayside in the end. Loyalty had taught her she was nothing to anyone other than herself, and that was just fine. Holding to herself was just about the only thing she knew to be true, wanted to hold true to, and the only way she knew how to be anymore. To be any different sparked glimmers of troublesome and fleeting hope of what life was  _supposed_  to be; fairytales from children's books. Wishful thinking that only lead to shattered hearts and shattered dreams. The promise of loyalty, and the resulting lack there over, had built her layers thick and hard and as far as Elura was concerned she was all the better for it. Because hope, as she knew it to be now, was nothing more than a tragic joke that mirrored what life had offered her at every turn. Hope was as much of a lie as loyalty and it seemed to her there would never again be anything that could convince her otherwise. She had no mind for hope, and certainly no time for it either.

War was on the winds, of that everyone was certain. Whispers in a quiet dark corners and broad common grounds alike. Rumors of the dark that rose in the First Order. Fear of the past and The Empire rose again that shot ice through veins and haunted dreams. Fear that gripped and clawed its way through every inch of the galaxy like an imposing entity unrelenting in its only opposition now, as always, was hope. Hope, the constant light that cut through the darkness for everyone else. A comfort and a wish; a promise of that foolish storybook concept of happy ending that everyone clung fast to in the face of opposition. Hope, delivered in the form of The Resistance, the rebels, the beacon shining bright in the face of adversity. After all, the same sort of hope had prevailed decades prior. What was to say that it couldn't be a feat repeated.

Hope, the face that plagued Elara for the better part of her life. The Resistance, the farce of a faction she had the misjudgment with which to align with near the beginning. Together a path lost to her. Or rather, a path forced from her. Too much had happen and at the same time not enough did. She had no choice other than to turn her back on that way now and fix her gaze on a new horizon. A path less, though not entirely, untravelled. Elara was an opportunist after all and if war was on the winds, she regrettably needed to break her resolve and hold tight to one side at least. Neutrality in times like these never served prosperous for anyone that she could think of. To weather the storm on her own would have been foolish, if not downright dangerous to say the least. Both sides had been strung along and considered in her heart and her mind. There was but one choice to make and now was the time to make it.

When chance presented itself, there was nothing other to do than jump. For Elara chance, for her, came unexpected in the night on Jakku. Full force in all its glory, falling squarely at her feet in perfect time and perfect offering. Hers to take along with whatever trouble followed and lashed at her heels by consequence. Her only "hope" now, stowed away on a transport carrier full of stormtroopers headed back to The Finalizer, was that the chance laid at her feet hadn't been more bit off than she could chew.


	2. Chapter One: Stowaway Pt. One

 

A cacophony of strained conversation, and the sound of a triad of boots echoed hollowly down the corridor from outside the room Elara found herself in. Head swimming, left temple aching from a blow of a blaster butt used to render her unconscious. She groaned and swallowed thickly, taking a moment to fight back the dizziness that gripped at her head and knotted her stomach and shake out of the groggy haze that clouded her senses.

Letting her eyes fall open slowly, she strained to move her head to look about the room. For what it was worth, her ill-begotten plan had worked in the interim anyways. A small victory seeing as she could only really remember mere moments after boarding the ship during chaotic departure The First Order made from Jakku. Her main goal, of course, was to actually get on one of the transport ships Not actually realizing there was little in the way to keep her concealed for the flight, and the entire size of the hold itself, once she had managed to make her way aboard she discovered a slight hiccup in next course of action. Of course, for what Elara had planned, a covert journey to The Finalizer wasn't exactly of the utmost importance for the most part; not really anyway. All she really required was the ability to stay aboard, and alive for that matter, long enough to request some sort of parley. A chance to treat with someone of whom would see the value in the situation and what role she could play if given the opportunity. All she really needed was to stay alive long enough to lay her chips on the table and let the cards fall where they might. Whether she had been discovered five seconds later or otherwise was really quite irrelevant. That said, there was little more Elara had actually "planned" out other than that, little more she would have ever been able to plan out other than that, and if she was completely honest, not really much more she would have wanted to plan out. As opportunistic as she was, Elara was far from being altogether stupid enough to not know that the path ahead was fraught with risk and uncertainty. There would be no telling what would happen to her once in the hands of The First Order. She could lay her story out to bear for every last person on the ship to hear, but it was for nothing if it was not well received, and well received was more than likely going to be a tough sell to say the least.

She had managed to keep alive up until present, one giant step forward out of an unknown amount to follow. Granted, Elara assumed perhaps a little more hospitable welcome other than being strapped to an interrogation chair set in the middle of a holding cell; foolish as it was to think so. But for the moment, being strapped to an interrogation chair in the middle of any holding cell anywhere, cumbersome as it was, was the least of her worries. What was to come had never even entered the realm of remote possibility in her mind. What was to come next would throw her for a loop and put a wrench in any plan she could have formulated either a head of time or on the fly. One giant step forward indeed, and about a hundred steps back. She was good at bargaining, good at talking her way out of or into in present case, just about anything. But in some cases, it might not prove to be even close to being enough.

"Just up head, sir."

The hollow conversation from outside her room came clearer by the second as her would be interrogator approached just in good time for the fog in her head to lift all the more. Stormtroopers, obviously, by the sound of it. The annoying stomp of their armored feet beating out against the metal deck of the corridor ironically almost in time with the thrumming in Elara's head.

"We found her just after take off." A second chimed in. "She snuck past us on boarding sir. No one saw anything, no one knows … We didn't know what to do with-"

"Enough." A third voice spat abruptly, clearly annoyed at the very least by the whole situation. "Useless."

"Apologies sir." The first foot soldier jumped to acquiesced and appease the command. "The matter will be looked in to and dealt with accordingly."

"See that it is."

That voice.

Elara swallowed the growing hitch in her throat, a wave of muted adrenaline pricked in the back of her mind.

That voice.

Like the first rumble of thunder of a storm on the horizon was unmistakable. Deep, and resonant through the filter of the voice modulator.

"Go. Now." Another curt command from just out of sight beyond the entrance to the room. "Before I deal with you accordingly."

That voice.

Perfectly honed, or so it seemed, to be flat, emotionless and controlled.

That voice.

Just the hint of an edge and hitch of flaw behind the restraint betraying its practice and giving away just a touch of the anger behind it.

That voice.

She had heard it before. Unmistakable, foreboding and familiar.

"Shit." Elara cursed under her breath before he had even set foot in the room.

That voice.

Kylo Ren.

Her heart sank to her toes. Kylo Ren was the one they had brought her to deal with. Of all the luck in all the galaxy, she had to have drawn the shittiest, the most unlucky proverbial card there was to draw. Foolishly, never had it crossed her mind that he would be the one to see her through around of questioning. Foolishly, never had it crossed her mind that she'd be going toe to toe with anyone other some miserable overconfident, general or captain she could outtalk and outwit with ease. It could have been and would have been a simple game to play. An easy win for her cause and without a doubt she would have been well on her way to the end goal. And if her best case scenario had come through, it would have made no difference that she still had yet to figure out what exactly that end goal to toe against a standard member of The First Order, no matter how much of a swelled head they had, Elara would at least have time to think on the fly, leverage her positioning and gain the upper hand. Facing down Kylo Ren himself in the same situation, however, advantage was but a whisper and a hope in the wind.

Two long, calm strides into the room and he was standing but a foot or two away from her. Looming, silently, menacingly still, towering over her as he pondered the circumstance at hand. His presence was both impressive and terrifying at once. Like some statuesque shadow pulled from a nightmare, clad in imposing black battle worn attire and a mask that so perfectly intimidating in the act of concealing whatever it was that lay behind it. Not even a single spoken interaction with he, who so many regarded a monster, and it took Elara everything she had to muster the will to raise her eyes and look at him.

"So this is my stowaway." Ren's voice cut through the silence that hung heavy and thick as he took another step towards her, taking in the sight in front of him.

She certainly wasn't anything close to what he'd expected to see waiting for his questioning. Unassuming slip of a girl, tight-lipped and humbled in his interrogation chair. She was frail, fragile, breakable. Ivory pale, and thinner than she looked she should be. Dark hair framed her face, disheveled and matted with blood that had trickled from the wound on her head and dried, just smeared across her cheek. The highlight of her tiny features, jade-hued eyes half obscured by a fringe of hair but still shining bright; frantic in attempt to try to conceal every spark and the threat of fear that brewed in the back of her mind and saturated the air around her. She was fragile, breakable, weak at first glance, but it was what was just underneath the surface that intrigued him; after all first impressions could be deceiving and the biggest surprises often came in small packages. What exactly it was, he couldn't tell but he was nothing less than certain of what he could sense. She was to be cracked and tossed aside in favor of more pressing matters. She was a waste of his time, and a conundrum, but an interesting one at that, for now anyways.

"I was told you wanted to speak." He lowered his tone, erasing the edge to his demeanor just enough to set her at ease even just a little. Intimidation was useful but not necessarily a means to every end right from the jump. "Speak."

Elara swallowed again, mouth suddenly cotton dry, chest tight and words uncharacteristically failing to pass from brain to tongue. She had never thought herself much of a coward but now placed in front of him and at his mercy, any preconceived notion she had ever had regarding her fortitude was shattered in an instant. This wasn't the way she had wanted things to go, wasn't the way she needed things to go. Her idea had spun out of hand before she had even had time to gather herself, even before she had even been asked a single thing.

"Well?" Ren cocked his head to the side, impatiently inquisitive.

Elara cleared her throat and forced herself to say something, anything to try and shift the situation at least a fraction in her favor. "I just-"

"You just?" He mocked, seething inwardly, glaring at her and the pathetic display she subjected him to.

"I mean…I don't…I don't know." She managed to stammer out, cursing herself inwardly as she did. She'd never sounded more pathetic in her life.

"You don't know." He scoffed, a low rumble through the voice mod, patience wearing thin. "I'll have your name while you stall … I should know it, if it's the last thing you manage to squeak out, don't you think?"

Elara flicked her eyes upwards again at Ren as he circled in close around her. Condescension had always been a lightning-fast way to get under her skin. Under any other circumstance it would have been a question of how he knew which switch to flip to spark a little fight in her, but moreover now it was a question of whether it was intentional or not. She hadn't felt him poking around in her mind yet, but to be fair she wasn't entirely sure what having him poke around in her head would feel like, or even if she would be able to tell at all.

"Elle." She shook her head and corrected herself, full well knowing it unlikely she'd ever be in a spot for a casual moniker to pass his lips. "Elara."

"Very good." He jibed again, oddly amused by the shift in the air and the apparent rise he had begun to get out of her. "And now I'll have your family name...if it's not too difficult."

"Just Elara."

"You're a slave then … No family, no family name?"

"No."

"An orphan then."

"Wrong again. My mother's only dead in my heart. Not that it's any of your business or that it would make a difference anyway." She chided, another sore spot struck quite aptly; as if he knew exactly which buttons to press in rapid succession. "You'll get my family name when I'm ready to give it to you."

"Really?" He stopped and stooped down towards her, leaning in little more than an inch or two away an bringing his masked visage to the side of hers. His voice barely above an ominous whisper. "Shall I go in and get it? You know there's nothing you can hide from me. Would you like to try?"

Elara's breath caught in her chest again as he probed. A sharp tingle, a fluttering in her skull just faint enough for her to distinguish.

It had begun.

And this path, if left to go its own devices; this path if left to his devices, was a slippery slope to say the least.

"Don't make me dig." Ren warned softly, lightly smoothing gloved fingertips over the blood crusted tendrils of hair at her temple. "You won't enjoy it."

He pressed a little deeper into her mind. What was once a tingle in the back of her mind turned to a muted sting, and a hum growing ever louder and ringing through her ears; a slow burn, and a warmth that spread over her and was anything but pleasant. Flashes in her his mind and hers alike as he rifled through that which she so tried to hide. Memories of past lives she wished to forget, of people and things she wished to forget. None of it pleasant and most of it irrelevant, but if she gave him just enough and managed to resist the rest it might be enough. A risk and a chance yet again to take, with just as uncertain an outcome as the one she took on Jakku. But it was worth a shot. At the moment anything was.


	3. Chapter Two: Stowaway: Part Two

Elara bit her lower lip and tried to fight her way out from under Ren's grip.

Just a touch, she told herself, as though it were so simple to keep the grip on herself and keep things tight to the chest with someone thumbing through everything she was trying not to think of. It was true what they said how his strength; the strength of the force in him and how it was like nothing else, how it took could take you over in at the bat of an eye; as if it were no more effort to him than simply drawing breath. And with every passing second he dug himself deeper and deeper into her mind like a virus; some foreign being tearing holes right through and weaving around whatever it needed with far reaching tentacles. Every second he dug himself deeper, and every second she felt her grip on things starting to slip away.

"Your parents…they were are part of The Rebellion." He cooed at her side, easily pressing past the walls she attempted to throw in between him and what he wanted to know. "You father was a pilot...you never met him but your mother…she told you all about him...every story, every praise...how much he would have loved you...how proud you would have been able to make him had he survived.

She squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing back the swell of emotion. So swiftly once again he had picked out the first and weakest spot he could find to break her down. Elara didn't know why she was surprised, weakness was weakness and she above anyone else knew that it was to be exploited. That dull ache, that constant emptiness in her chest she could never ward off for long. Weakness was weakness, and while she wouldn't expect anything less of him, it didn't mean it didn't catch her off guard.

"Irrelevant." Elara choked out her best attempt at rebuttal. "You're wasting your time."

"No." Ren dismissed her deflection. "I don't think so."

"Think anything you'd like…it doesn't make it true."

"What if I feel it? What then?" His demeanor softened slightly. Fingertips ghosting lightly against her skin, drawing a sharp flinch at the point of her wound. "I feel it in you...I feel the pain that's left behind...How you try so hard to hide it, to shut it out, that sadness that's been settled inside of you for so long...You can lie to yourself you you can't lie to me." Strange consolation passed his lips. "Don't be ashamed…it's alright."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't you?"

"No."

"You don't lay awake at night thinking of everything you never had? Or wonder how everything could have been so very different. How happy you could be if only…"

"Stop." She spat, shifting in the chair as much as she could craning in the chair as much as she could to avert her gaze.

"You reminded her of him...every day." He continued, tone cold and flat once more. "Every time, you spoke...every time you looked at her."

"Shut up."

"Every time you smiled you remind your mother."

"Stop."

Elara flexed her hands against her restraints in silent protest, shaking in her effort to shut him out; shut everything of him out. His proverbial fingers grazing through her mind, the eerily calm and hypnotic sound of his voice and the way his breath grazed against her neck from underneath his mask. This is what he wanted, she tried to remind herself, this is what he wanted. It wasn't just the way he could so easily pull everything he wanted from her thoughts, it was the inclusive experience of the entire ordeal. Breaking her down, the fear, the pain, the anger. He got off on it. It was some sick game that was only going to get worse and worse the longer it went on. This is what he wanted, to whittle her down to nothing and hadn't the will to fight back at all. Every rise of emotion and every empty denial from her lips, she was playing right into his hands and she knew it but she was powerless to stop it no matter how hard she pressed back.

"You look so much like him...you act so much like him. No wonder she couldn't even bare to look at you. She resented you for it…hated you for it."

"I said stop." She seethed again, as though it would do any good.

"So young…so confused."

Ren stiffened slightly, a shift in the air and a shift in the mood perceived that he couldn't help project right back on to her. His collected temperament cracked and gave way to anger, rage even, that began to course through his veins; whether it was of his own accord or Elara's own emotions he merely adopted.

"She sent you away." He spat, disdain coloring his voice and emanating into her. "You...her only child...she sent you away without a second thought because you looked like your father...because of who you were and how it made her sick...as though you had a choice. She sent you away...your own mother...and you still care?"

"No."

"Liar.

Elara's heart raced against her chest and her eyes fell heavy as her vision clouded around her; raw emption surged through her, climbing higher and higher the longer he stayed within the confines of her thoughts. She'd never felt anything like it; not even once. It was amazing, the strangest blend of conflicting sensation all at the same time. Calming, comforting despite the foundation of the emotion. Heady, and dizzying, some sort of strange exchange that was enough to fall into without any regard and from which one might never return. A warm gentle feeling that blanketed and over took every ounce of her, just as it over took him. She could feel it in him too; another surprise to be had. Eyes locked in a silent stare as they both swam in it and took it in so deeply without a care for anything else. The entire galaxy could have imploded at that exact moment and either of them would have so much as blinked. Deeper and deeper she sank into whatever was taking hold of her body and soul. It was a like a drug; intoxicating and she just couldn't shake it and it scared her more than anything else in the world ever had.

It was heady, dizzying and the best feeling she could have ever asked for. But beyond all else, it was terrifying.

"S-Stop." She half whispered, barely able form a coherent thought let alone speak it aloud.

"She sent you away...and you still call her a mother…"

"Stop!" Elara's tiny, shaky voice reverberated off the walls around them.

Strained, shaken, and spent as her strength was, Elara forced herself to pull free of whatever had enraptured her and bound her to him so unrelentingly. She snapped through it, willfully forced herself to shake the unshakeable and in an instant she slammed her mind closed to him so forcefully she rocked back against the chair; shaking its structure roughly and snapping herself painfully against the restraints.

The bond was broken.

Heavy silence loomed in the air. Unspoken confusion left hanging between the both of them.

"Such fight in you." Ren spoke first after what seemed like an eternity, gathering himself as discreetly and as much as he could without her taking notice.

Cool, calm, and collected once more, he continued despite the unanswered questions nagging in the back of his mind. No one ever resisted him, it wasn't even anything he had ever questioned before; no one had ever managed to resist him, let alone force him out mid probe. Not unless they were force sensitive that is; then they could at least stand a chance at resisting. But this wasn't what that was, or at least not as far as he could tell. Even if it was he couldn't sense it in her at all. Even if it was the force, it was so weak in her there was no way she should be able to push him out like that; she wouldn't have even known it even existed let alone known how to use it. This was something different, much different and the likes of which he had never before seen. It fuelled him to press on, filling him with even more resolve to scratch past the surface and figure out just what exactly made her tick in ever sense of the word.

"What was that?" Elara muttered, shakily a trying to steel herself as well, only to result in seeming much more visibly rattled.

"Such resistance...such defiance." He skillfully avoided the question to which had no answer. "You fight so valiantly. It's admirable...impressive even. It could be so easy if only you'd let me in."

She glared at him wordlessly. Unwilling to give even an inch more than what she had; not after what had just happened.

"You're hiding something."

"I'm n-"

"You are." He cut her off. Intrigue in his voice giving way to that familiar edge as he dared her to oppose him once more. "And now you're going to give it to me.

He moved closer to her, fingers outstretched once more, ready to drive past her defenses and bend her will to his.

"Fuck you!" She growled back through clenched teeth, pulling away from him as best she could. Rattling the chair again as a deep seated fear washed over her again. "Don't you fucking touch me!"

"Give it to me."

"I won't."

He hadn't the patience or time for games, especially not now that his curiosity was piqued beyond any level that could go without being satiated. He hadn't the patience or time for games, especially at the hands of some random, stubborn girl who defied him and didn't expect to be dealt swift and painful retribution.

"Give it to me."

"No."

He lunged towards her. Holding her tightly in place with no escape and in one swift move he seared his way through her thoughts again; fingers pressed tight against her skull right at the point of her wound to split the skin for extra force of discomfort. She yelped and squirmed under his touch, shrinking against the chair to no avail this time. White hot pain seared through her head. What Elara had thought was horrible before was but a gentle display of his ability and there would be no forgiving touch at his hand now as he forced his way through her thoughts. Ripping through her, Ren grabbed at straws and followed each proverbial breadcrumb on the trail of what he so desperately needed to find.

Flashes in rapid succession he pried free from her.

Flashes of her and her mother.

Flashes of the torment, the turmoil and the devastation she felt at being cast aside so easily.

Flashes of everything in her life that drew some sort of raw emotion that could easily be manipulated and used against her.

But it was all useless. Nothing he could filter out was what he needed to know. Even more, nothing he could filter out was what he wanted see.

No matter how much she crumbled now, she still resisted him with everything she had. Fought against him with every ragged breath that ripped through her body; it didn't matter if it was all for naught. She was strong. Despite all else, any weaknesses aside and anything he could provoke in her, she still had strength against all the pressure that ramped higher and higher the longer he had her. That much he would give her credit for. She was strong against him in a way that few others could ever attempt to be.

She was strong against him, but he was stronger.

He dug his fingers against her skull in a little more; display of a fresh surge of his own will wielded against her as he scoured through with even more fore and eliciting even more pain from her. It was almost more than she could bear, she was at the bring and he knew it; he felt it and used it to fuel himself on relentlessly. Foggy images brought a little more clearly to him the closer he go to what she had locked away concealed deep enough to be pulled out only at her wish and only when she decided it served her rightly; as if she had any say in the matter. Closer, he inched. Ignoring her internal cries for him to relent and shuttout out the screams that echoed through his ears. He had her against the wall, knife against her throat and in either full stubbornness or full stupidity she wouldn't let her guard down even well knowing that what he was able to glean from the muddled mess wouldn't serve her any better lest she gave him everything.

This was not her first visit to The Finalizer, that much he was able to grasp amid the haze, though very little else. Snapshots of some situation of ambiguity and little context; shrouded figures and muted thoughts of conversation. Hints of fear, and doubt and an intertwined shame to bear. She had been with The Order, that much he was certain of, no lie or false memory to suggest his trust to swing to his side; she was honest as the walls she kept closed around herself started to fall brick by brick. But she hid so much, even a little revelation to gain his trust was all but lost on him. Moreover when her train of thought shifted. She had been of the order, yes. But beyond that there was more. Older thoughts, she was younger as he saw it. Solidly aligned with the Resistance. A frightened child, or at least she may as well have been. Little else, there was, that he could pull out from that aspect either. So much abstruseness in both situations, they tied together in a tightly bound knot; intermingled and tangled without a sold way to sort out the mess.

She was hiding something. Many things it seemed.

She was hiding something. Some enticing that could make her either a solidified threat in her presence or a surprisingly realized asset.

She was hiding something. Or something was being hidden, even from her. Some closed door in her mind. She didn't know what she hid from him. It had been wiped clean from her mind, or shoved so far into the depths of thought and memory. A secret something he could still sense and held his interest more exponentially than uncovering all else.

That secret something.

The itch in the back of his mind that priced every time he looked at her.

He would have that too, before he was finished with her whether she liked or not; that secret something that sparked his attention. That secret something that would would be scratched out in time at his hands even if it took burning through everything else he could find with reckless abandon.

Digging for more now, however, would serve no purpose. She'd had enough, more than he expected from her, and almost too much for her to bear. Anything more would likely kill her, and the mystery would die with her. Reluctantly, begrudgingly almost, he bit back his frustration at the lack of resolution and lifted his hand from her head, breaking the bond again; this time his own mind swirling in its own right. He had done all he could for the time being. She was shattered before him, a cowering wreck of an already fragile little bird at the pity of her host; if there was any to be had.

Ren may have not had everything he needed to know, but he was well on his way to being able to reach out and take it with a single touch and a single word. How and when was just a matter of detail and strategy.

"Oh, you're hiding something."

Ren took a moment to settle himself, spent in his own right just as much as she crooked his finger and trailed across her sweat damped brow, dragging it downwards to rest under her chin and turn her head towards him as she struggled to choke back emotion.

"And I will have it." He half whispered, a melodic lilt in his voice. He dipped her head to hers, the chill of his mask gazing her cheek as he left her with his final assurance before he took his leave. "You will give it to me...you pretty little thing."

Another lingering stare, his eyes burned into hers from behind his mas. Shaken as she was, broken as she was, there was still that spark of defiance. A flame within that apparently could not be doused no matter what state she was in. She was a challenge, but she was a challenge that he would win.

"You're stronger than you think...but you'll never keep it from me. You can take that as a promise."

Ren rose again to take his to take his leave and turned his back. With a flick of his hand her restraints were set open and she all but dropped to the floor as he strode towards the exit of the room; all physical strength she had escaping her.

"See that she's tended to." He shot a causal order to one of his men standing silent just within the doorway. "No one gets to her without my say."

"Yes, sir."

One last look, a sideways glance cast over his shoulder at the unassuming girl who stood her ground where so many others had failed. One last look at the girl who remained a glaring question mark in his mind. One last look at her and with one last uttered threat, he would be gone.

"I will break you."


	4. Chapter Three: Impasse

"It's been a week, Ren. Why is the girl still here?"

The young commander was ripped out of the silent reverie of thought. Caught gazing out the window of the observation deck of The Finalizer. With so much on his mind, so much to consider and so much pressing on him, there were very few places he could find solace and little time to spend when he did; and now General Hux had come to press his nose where it didn't belong. It was typical, almost painfully so. And in Ren's opinion, there wasn't really much business that Hux needed to involve himself at present anyhow.

Regrettably, but not yet disastrously, everything in the form of progress to end objectives had stalled. If there were all the time in the world, things would have undoubtedly come easy. If there were all the time in the world things would undoubtedly be full steam ahead with nothing more than a pocket full of luck. But luck had run off for the time being, so it would seem, and now all there was left to do was wait in in the wake for its triumphant return.

It had been a week. Of that Hux was sure to remind him, and of that Ren was blazingly clear. Nothing in the manner of the progression of finding the ever elusive droid on Jakku had come easily, least of all its whereabouts or who was keeping it hidden. While time indeed was of the utmost importance, at the very least they had enough presence in the scattered across the desert in the expectation of finding it that it seemed impossible for it to fall further into the hands of The Resistance; at least that was the hope anyway, and it had better come through.

With so much at stake however, now every other pressing matter imaginable would be brought to his feet and now he would be forced under the scrutiny of an pathetic and over stuffed, irritating ginger pest. Constant face to face and constant questioning, again, of matters that were nowhere near the realm of Hux's concern. At present, as it would have it, said matter was the girl whom was seen as nothing more than a liability and a nuisance.

"Did you hear me?" That voice that was standard in its haughtiness. Arrogant, grating, and enragingly chastising in nature.

"I did." Ren sighed. Unbothered enough by the general's presence to retract his gaze from the window. "I'd hoped you'd take a hint but if I didn't respond. But I suppose a little more intelligence is in order to interpret being ignored."

"Did you hear me?" Hux's voice was standard in it's haughtiness. Arrogant, grating and enragingly chastising in nature.

"I did." Ren sighed. Unbothered enough by the general's presence to retract his gaze from the window. "I'd hoped you'd take a hint if I didn't respond. But I suppose it a little more intelligence is in order to interpret being ignored."

"Why is the girl still here?" Hux brushed off the jab and continued in persistence.

"The girl is still here because I haven't yet permitted her to leave the ship."

Ren's lips twisted upwards, slight smirk atypically spilling across his face. If nothing else, as long as Hux was there to enjoy pestering him, he would have to take enjoyment in returning the favor at every opportunity. Getting under his skin, after all, was one of the more entertaining past times to be had.

"Do you really think wise to be so glib about the matter? I wonder what the Supreme Leader would say of the situation. It seems quite a foolish pursuit to me...perhaps he doesn't mind his apprentice wasting time on a personal whim."

"I'm sure you'll be more than happy to run off and tell him the first chance you get." Ren cast him a sideways glare. "It always seems to be your standard."

"Forgive me for not being so eager to put our mission, our entire goal in jeopardy for a pretty face."

"If that's really what you think."

"It is."

"Our mission, general, wouldn't be in jeopardy if it weren't for your men would it? Or have you forgotten."

"An unfortunate incident." Hux sloughed off the blame, tight lipped and back up when reminded of the supposedly loyal stormtrooper who saw fit to take it upon himself to abscond with the Resistance pilot.

"Quite."

Ren turned and stepped towards the general. His intent was of course to contain the temper coming to a slow boil beneath his perfectly collected facade. But he wasn't about to be ditched entirely with sole responsibility that was the folly with the droid and the missing map piece it carried; and he certainly wasn't going to be subjected to a lengthy line of questioning much longer regarding the issue involving their new guest.

She was a private matter for now, though even if that wasn't the case Hux never would have been able to see the benefit of the potential outcomes she may bring to bear. And as long as that was the case, Elara was his and his alone to deal with and he would keep her on board for as long as it took to pry apart whatever there was left to pry apart in her.

"How's your training program Hux?" He shifted his tone to match the level of his impromptu companion's high handedness. "Should I expect any other surprises from your troops? Are they going to bring me my droid with any other missteps or is that too much to ask? Perhaps you'd like to consult the Supreme Leader on the matter as well."

Hux's jaw clenched in frustration as he fought back the wave of embarrassment at the blunder and refocused the subject again.

"What more have you been able to get out of the girl Ren?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing." He huffed. "A week's time and you know nothing more than the first night she came to our custody? What does that say do you think?"

"Certainly nothing along the same likes as you." Ren bristled.

"Do you think it wise to-"

"I know what I need to…for now."

"You know she has been of The Order and of The Resistance alike." Hux hissed. "What does that tell you? Or are you too foolhardy to care?"

"It's not that simple."

"Isn't it?"

"No."

"Do enlighten me." Hux lit up with a self satisfied smirk, mirroring the commander's antagonistic posturing and taking a step forward himself. "Hearing of your shortcomings would greatly improve my mood."

"You forget yourself Hux."

"No, you forget yourself Ren."

Standard recourse from a substandard man as far as Ren was concern. Personal insults and simple threats with little follow through was typical at this stage in the game; just another routine and a sad sorry show at attempt to grab an upper hand wherever he thought he could find one. Hux was a sorry waste of skin, to big for his boots with as much backbone of a dying worm when it came down to it. Constant annoyance had always lead to dissension. But now it seemed as though he was out right gunning to be attacked. Prodding the sleeping lion and dancing with fate for the chance to bring down some sort of punishment on Ren in order to be given his chance to truly shine when the preference was removed from the Supreme Leader's would never come of course, not before Ren could squeeze the life out of him. Or at the very least remind the smarmy little rat of his place in the grand scheme of things.

But if it was a fight that Hux truly wanted, then it was a fight he would have served forth to him graciously on a silver platter.

"You're either willfully stupid or even more pathetic than I thought you to be Ren." The general continued, inching closer still, unfounded confidence growing with each step.

"She's a spy,"

"She's not." Ren spat matter of factly. Eyes flashing in reinforced aggravation.

"She's a spy, and you're you know it. Don't be so fool hearted to not admit it. It only proves you for what you are.

"Careful Hux."

"You're a disappointment. You're not even fit to command a single unit let along the entire Order. Deal with her however you see fit. But deal with her before I do."

"How many times need I remind you, general, that I don't answer to you."

"We'll see for just how much longer." Hux spat, sneer painted on his weasley features. "You're distracted...you've been distracted before and you'll be distracted again. She's your plaything...a toy. Something new to strap to your chair and break when you get bored. You tell me...how long until the Supreme Leader realizes his golden child no longer bears the same shine? How long until the prodigy falls and brings us all to ruin?"

"I won't warn you again."

"Your warnings are as weak as your mind...your fascinated with her."

Hux's sardonic smirk spread wide over his lips.

"Tell me something Ren, how long has it been since you've had a woman?" He dug the hole deeper and deeper, desperate to elicit just the right reaction. "Is that what this is? Is that what she is? An infatuation to torment and torture until she gives in and agrees to be your bedfellow."

The air grew deadly still and in it hung thick, just waiting for the first cut to be made.

"Do everyone a favor and find yourself a pleasure slave...it gets the job done much faster."

Ren snapped.

Wall between temper and reserve shattered in a split second. His fingers flexed as he snared Hux in hs grip, skirting him back slightly and pulling him up in the air to choke him to the brink. His grip tightened with every pathetic sputter he drew out; eyes locked on his proverbial prey in an all encompassing stare; silent, ominous and absolute. Hux shook against his grap again and again, permeating the air with the familiar blend of fear, and anger, and pain that fueled Ren all the more and drove him forward in everything he did. Empty threats, personal attacks and foolish mind games were one thing. But he was not going to entertain the first semblance of an ill thought out and ill prepared coup and he was certainly not about to let it stand between what he so wanted and so needed to accomplish.

If he was to catch all hell for his actions, then so be it. But now was not the time or place for anyone to press against his plans.

"One more word." He seethed through clenched teeth, squeezing yet again just a little tighter for good measure. "Tangle in my affairs one more time...question me again, Hux and I'll finish it."

A final moment locked in a dead stare and Ren tossed the general aside. One final kick to the over inflated ego before he turned heel and made to take his leave. Slamming him into the far wall of the deck with just enough force to rattle him enough to send the message home that a fine line was drawn in the sand and that toeing it was not an risk without consequence.

"How dare you." Hux growled after him, malcontent laden in his voice as he choked and tried to collect himself as best he could crumpled on the ground and shaking like a leaf. "The Supreme Leader will hear of this!"

"See to it he does if you think it frightens me."

Ren's heavy boots echoed against the gangway as he continued on without so much as a second look back.

"But in the meantime, tell your men to bring her to me."


	5. Chapter Four: Unsteady Ground: Part One

It was late when they brought her to him.

Well past any reasonable hour that she would have expected to be summoned from her dimly lit cell for some spontaneous visit of any sort, secondary inquisition or not. Well past any reasonable hour in which she would even be of any use for said secondary inquisition, and longer still past the time Elara had contemplated making even an attempt at sleep; as if that were something that had been easy to come by since she had found herself resident in her new accommodations. It was too cold, and too quiet within the confines of her cell, and perhaps that was the point. All she had now was a painfully firm cot mattress and the company of her own thoughts from which to draw comfort; and the longer she stayed within its walls, the less comfort her thoughts would become to be as what lingering hope for a reprieve abandoned her a little more each passing day.

She was nothing, and nobody.

Tucked away in a little corner in the belly of the ship and forgotten about. Each long night followed each long day. Little broke the silence the room enrobed her in aside from the low hum of the ship's electrical workings; enough to keep her wide eyed and wakeful long into the wee hours as she stared at the ceiling and counted each flicker from the lights that dimmed only just enough to barely shroud the room in darkness. Sleep was a battle to be won within the cell, and the longer she stayed within its walls it was a battle that was painfully obvious not hers to win. She was nothing, and nobody. Tucked away in that little dark corner in the belly of the ship and forgotten about. But then again, that was probably exactly the point; that was probably exactly the plan.

He would break her.

Ren's prime choice words. Four little words that rang in her ears on repeat day after day.

He would break her. And by all accounts, to everybody else, it would have seemed like he was doing a pretty damn good job at that.

She was nothing, and nobody, until just as she had tried to settle in for another sleepless night and they came for her.

A guard on either side of her, hands bound tightly in strong cuffs that chafed against her skin, they escorted her down a series of near empty corridors. It was night time after all, and most activity on the ship had slowed to a crawl. That was the way of it, as she recalled, from time previous spent aboard. The old familiarity of pathways traveled so many times before sent muted chills up her spine and a strange sense of nostalgia and belonging made it almost seem as though she had never left; though the sharp pinch from her cuffs brought her back down to reality and drilled home the situation at hand.

What at one time she had called home may very well be the last place to which she should have ever returned. What at one time she had called home was at present a very hostile environment from which she had no escape were the shit to hit the fan. In this place that had once felt so very much like home and belonging, now she was the enemy no; or so it would be presumed.

She was the enemy, the unassuming girl who refused to speak. She, who had been tucked away in a dark corner in the belly of the ship and forgotten about. Left all on her own with only her thoughts to keep her company and nothing but time to think, and rethink.

At least there had been that.

Any warm feelings there were to be had were chased away as they passed by common areas and the barracks where the lower ranks were housed and crossed into sectors housing ranked soldiers and higher officers. Warm feelings diminished by the sudden cold realization and understanding of their intended destination.

They were bringing her directly to him.

Every footstep closer hammered out against cold durasteel walkways mirrored the pounding of her heart, which now had unfortunately decided to take up residence in her throat.

They were bringing her directly to him.

Every footstep closer hammered out against metal walkways mirrored the pounding of her heart, which had now decided to take up residence in her throat.

They were bringing her directly to him.

A second round. A test to past that despite all her thoughts and everything she had mustered within herself, she wasn't entirely convinced she would be able to withstand. Ren was the type to cut her down where she stood after he had heard all he needed to; or if he didn't hear enough. The first round was a freebie, a lesson to be learned, a game and what she was sure was his version of clever hospitality.

The second round, she knew all too well, would be something quite different.

They were bringing her directly to him, and as far as Elara knew, in Ren's mind she was as good as done.

Two sets of sliding doors sealed shut as her escorts shuttled Elara forward into his quarters; the dull thud as they interlocked and sealed off the outside world resounded in her ears as her eyes strained against the contrast in lighting and attempted to get used to her surroundings.

"That will be all."

She froze in her tracks and fell silent as the grave at the sound of his voice cutting through the silence.

"Leave us." He muttered ominously, effortlessly authoritarian and effortlessly intimidating in his delivery, skirting the guards away to deal with her in privacy.

In a moment, the air drained from the room much as the color did from her face. If she hadn't known any better, Elara would have said she was a mere inch or two from the floor; diminished by his presence both physically and otherwise as he stepped out from a shadowy corner and showed himself. Same overwhelming presence, stoic, solid and menacing; he remained impressive, she would give him that much; that much, he would always have over her.

Slowly, calculatedly he moved towards her and raised his hands to the latches on his mask; bowing his head slightly and freeing himself from the device in one swift movement before looking back up and capturing her eyes in his. Elara's breath caught in her chest and chest slightly and she cursed herself inwardly. He was handsome, more so than she would have ever honestly expected him to be; noted that she was altogether sure what she expected was locked away from sight behind that cold and monstrous looking mask. Thick hair dark as her own and a strong profile with sharp cheekbones and an aquiline nose that gave him a regal air. Rich dark eyes both hypnotising and inviting despite the cold unmoving stare they fixed her in. He was more than just a little attractive and he knew it; whether on his own accord or though peeking in at her shameful observation. The faint smirk that played upon his face was enough proof of that, and again, Elara kicked herself in the teeth for not keeping a tighter rein on instinctual observation no matter how disarming the reveal his looks had been.

She cleared her throat and forced her eyes from his, punching down resurgent nerves and forcing herself to refocus on the matter at hand and the all encompassing gravity of the situation. Setting his mask down on the small table at his side, he gripped her hands in one of his own and with a wave of the other swiftly freed her from her restraints and tossed them to the side.

"You're nervous." He spoke the obvious, unwavering stare still fixed on her regardless of the way she refused to return the courtesy of meeting eyes. "You can relax...I won't hurt you."

"You already have."

"I have no intention to again...you have my word."

"Your word." Elara scoffed. "Should that mean something?"

Ren circled around her and slid a chair out from the table for her before making to take his own on the other side.

"Yes." A sigh of frustration passed his lips. "It's regretful that you so easily choose to think otherwise"

"Yeah well…"

"Sit."

It wasn't as though Ren could hold her reluctance against her. He was unquestionably the last person she wanted to see. A nightmare and a monster in a mask whose reputation preceded him, of which she had certainly had a taste. He was her judge, jury and executioner and she had no idea what to expect next from him. Despite all of the courage she could manage to drum up and all the confidence she had to bear, there was no hiding from him that small strike of insecurity at her core; or the way she had to fight so hard to keep it from letting it rattle her.

"Don't be afraid…sit." He bid her again, a little more insistently. "We have a lot to talk about, you and I. Wouldnt you say?"

A momentary stalemate and she complied with the request, silently dropping into the chair and stand offishly slid it a little further back from the table. Tight lipped she stared straight ahead and locked him in familiar silence. Tension between them hanging in the air thick and ready to be cut as each waited on baited breath for the other to first speak though the moment didn't seem to want to come.

Langlidly sprawled in his seat across from her, Ren cocked a perfect brow, blatant distaste and disappointment tainting his features as he returned her gaze; impasse growing more strained by the second.

"You know why you're here?" He posed more of a statement than a question; his voice falling smooth as silk, bereft of any warmth or cordiality.

"Do I?"

"Don't play stupid." He spat. "It's unbecoming...you can do better than that."

"I know…" Elara sighed and folded her arms across her chest. "Can you?"

"That can be put to the test if you'd like." He quipped, a snide reminder of their previous encounter passing his lips. "How's your head, by the way?

Elara scoffed again, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of the answer he likely already knew; that her head had throbbed for days and the dreams that followed their meeting, when she even managed to sleep, haunted her with every little stirred up memory he had dug through. He very well knew their first was not an encounter she so eagerly wanted to repeat and he used it against her, hung in the air like a weapon at the ready; an intimidation she wished didn't have the effect that it actually did.

Her reluctance to give him what he wanted met only by Ren's unrelenting stare and a terse silence, he filled a glass of water from a small pitcher perched on the table and skirted it towards her. A manipulative "peace" offering, as full well he knew that she hadn't been permitted to drink her fill while in holding.

"You know what I saw...what I'm forced to assume of you.

"What you'd like to assume of me." Elara fired back, tentatively accepting the gesture of purported good faith. "But you know what they say about people who assume things don't you."

"I don't have the luxury of assuming anything different, I'm sure you've noticed."

"If you say so."

Ren smirked sightly. She was no shrinking violet now that she wasn't held quite so helpless, he would give her that. She had a mouth on her and was either ballsy enough to use it, or too stupid to know when not to. She was an interesting match and and adversary both frustrating and formidable; and now she posed challenge yet passed the enigma she presented him with and she intrigued him all the more. Perhaps Hux was right, perhaps she was a new toy; something to tear apart and figure out what exactly it was that made it tick.

"What do you suppose the Resistance will do with you when I throw you back to them?" He asked nonchalantly, flipping his eyes to the table and resting back in his chair. "What do you suppose the punishment for treason will be?"

"I wouldn't know I-"

"Exile? Abandonment? Turned from every corner of the galaxy in which you could find a friendly face?"

Elara shook her head and sighed in exasperation.

"Would you like to know what fate has to offer you here? What reward The First Order offers to traitors."

"I'm not a traitor."

"So you say."

"I'm not."

"Not yet anyway." He corrected her.

"Semantics."

"And still you have yet to speak." Ren turned his attention back to her. "You tell me you're not a traitor, but still you came with something to bear...didn't you."

Elara shifted uncomfortably and turned her own gaze to the ground, fumbling over her thoughts and trying to decide where and if at all to begin to lay everything out on the table.

"You do...you have something for me but you're too afraid to wield it...why?"

"It's complicated."

"No." He spat. "It's your weakness...don't let it hold you back."

"I'm stronger than I know." Elara taunted him, letting his own words ring back in his ears and forcing him to the realization that she, too was fully capable of playing at manipulation; or the very least make a whole hearted attempt one way or the other.

"You'll be rewarded." He assured her, harshness in his voice dropping a little as he extended his offer. "I can promise you that."

"That's not exactly the point."

"Then what?"

One resonant word to cut through the pretense and the forced civility.

"Trust."

"Trust…" Ren stared at her in thinly concealed disbelief, not fully sure of what intent lay behind her response. "It's trust you want...trust…over everything."

"Yes."

He chortled and pulled out of his chair, circling around Elara like a caged animal as she willed herself to the spot and suppressed the rise of nerves within.

Trust, she asked of him. Trust above all else he would ever have to offer her. Trust, the one thing she would ask of him that would have him stick his neck out for her and risk everything he had worked so hard thus far to achieve. The one thing she had the gall to ask him and yet still leave him devoid of any promise on return.

"You want me to trust you…" He hissed. "And yet you have none to give in return."

"I wouldn't trust you if my life depended on it."

What ever admiration he may have had for her strength of will shattered and gave way to annoyance and a standard stormy streak of temper of which there was no hope of containing. With one surge of energy, one surge of emotion, Ren upended the table from across the room, showering the floor around Elara with fragments of broken glass and splinters of it's obliterated wooden frame. Where he expected her to see her slip of her chair and cower before him, she still sat steadfast and stoic amidst the wreckage. Where he expected fear and uncertainty in her eyes, there was only cold, hard resolve as she kept her attention fixed on him; sloightly rattled by his outburst, yes, but nevertheless it was she who was determined now to get exactly what she wanted and she wasn't about to back down. Swiftly he crossed the room to her again, stooping down to grip either arm of the chair to trap her in her place, hovering over her seething at the blatant audacity she had in defying him. He broke away from her momentarily only to summon her escort back to the cage of a room she had come to know as her own; finished with mind games and bargaining chips. He would let her rot in her cell, whether it be for weeks or for months, if that's what it took to prove a point and get the end result he wasn't about to let slip away.

"You're still alive because I've kept you safe." He snapped overing but a few inches over her and daring her to make a move. "You're still alive because I don't know what to do with you."

"Well, I guess that's your problem isn't it?"

"Is it?"

"Give me an ounce of trust and I'll hand you everything on a silver platter." Elara challenged him. "Call them off...or kill me…see if I care."

"You really think you can make demands…take a look around you...at where you are."

"You gave me time to think." She chided him, relishing the ease at which she had achieved everything she had needed to solidify her plan. "That was a mistake."

It was her turn now to stare him down. Eye to eye, unyielding and steely with just as much fire behind her gaze as his.

"If I go back in that cell...you get nothing."

With a growl of frustration, Ren pushed himself upright and extended his hand towards her pulling her from her chair and to her feet. He closed himself off to anything more she had to say and ripped into her full force with reckless abandon tossing all care for her discomfort to the side and eliciting a sharp yelp of agony from her in the process. With such ruch the surge of strange energy that bound that had bound them together previously flooded through them both so overwhelming and all encompassingly it knocked Elara off balance and she grabbed for him; hands winding firmly into the fabric of his clothing as she struggled to stay upright against the sheer force of the energy that worked its will over her.

Ren let it take him just as much as she fought with every failing strength she could muster before it overtook her in kind. Gripped by the same indescribable feeling between them that enrobed every last one of his senses as fought through the haze until in a second he was torn from it. Locked in a glimpse, a hint of what he thought he was looking for; a sneak peak at what lay behind the locked door in the depths. In a second everything he had seen before in her, and every fragment of everything new he had dug through fell away and he was left in a void; a familiar void too unclear to make sense of. Figures in both shadow and light that whipped all confidence away from him and left him shaking in their wake. Ren had seen this place before; or been in this place before. It was as much his memory as it was hers and what reason of how or why or what he was being lead to see was a whirlwind that fueled his curiosity.

Figures in both shadow and muffled conversation at the center of which there was but one that stood out; still obscured by the haze, still too fuzzy to see clearly. In the midst of every blurred detail he tried to force clear, still obscured one thing rang clear and anchored him through it all; one terrifying thing that called out to him in a whisper that read like a roar and echoed in his head.

Ben.

Eyes flying open and ripping himself back into coherence, Ren broke the the bond with a jolt; forcing her to fall into him, fists still wrapped tightly in the cloth of his robes and trembling in her own right against him. He launched himself away from her, stumbling over his own feet breathless, shaken and resounding confusion rolling through his mind.

That echo.

Just a momentary bite that held so much familiarity shadowed and hidden from him. A voice through the haze that stirred something in him that he couldn't even begin to comprehend let alone explain away even if his life depended it.

That echo still to shrouded in mystery and still to deep in her to unearth.

That echo that felt like home, or what he so long ago remember of it.

That echo that sparked a faded sense of warmth, a faded sense of what it was like to be happy once.

That echo that reminded him of everything he fought against and everything he tried to lock away and forget.

That echo, and the pull towards the light that shook him to the core and sparked a thousand different thoughts tearing through his head.

That echo, that terrified him.

Across the room he paced, frantically trying to compose some sense of collection, and strategize some sort of plan of action to deal with what had just taken place between them. Frantically trying to make some sort of sense of it or at the very least some semblance of an answer as to what purpose there was in it all; neither of which Elara could have given him even if she wanted to. Pale as a ghost, she stood rooted to the spot and every bit as shaken as he. That, in itself, was another question so desperate in its need for an answer.

He fumbled with his vocom and called of the request for the foot men to retrieve her and return her to her prior custody. Tracking back over his steps, Ren drug a gloved hand over his face to steel his nerves as he stooped to retrieve his mask from the floor and extradite himself from the situation at hand.

"You'll stay here tonight." He hastily muttered an armistice and an invitation, only just able to peer up at Elara momentarily before turning his back. "I'll make it known no one is to disturb you."

'I-I can't… I-I don't..."

"You will." Ren disregarded her clumsy attempt at protest and made his way towards the door. "You'll stay here...For now, you're my guest...I have things to attend to."

Small squeak of an unsteady whimper escaped her tiny fragile frame as he strode towards the door.

"Make yourself at home." He assured her, entirely uncertain in the merit of the proverbial olive branch of which he extended towards her. "Get some rest. You need it."

Parting words holding some strange sympathy Elara awas sure came with at catch but it was a start. Trust or something like it, the first inklings of such from an unwitting host; her goal had been met, or so it seemed. And now that she was beyond the confines of a tiny cell, locked away in a forgotten corner of the ship, she was free to execute the next step in what she had, to the best of her abilities, solidified her makeshift plan to level the playing field.

The only thing left to do was put plans of an unsteady alliance in to action and hope for the best; the only question that remained was to what end it would meet, or rather to what end she would meet.

Fran


	6. Chapter Five: Unsteady Ground: Part Two

Elara was asleep when he returned in the small hours of the morning between one day and the next. Huddled awkwardly in a tiny ball on a reclining chair seated in the corner of his quarters; obviously having ignored his invitation to make herself comfortable, or just to afraid it was a test of some sort that would be met with a swift backlash, she made do with at least a softer place to rest than the floor preferring discomfort rather than actively seeking out the bed chamber and the amenities it had to offer. Ren regarded her, silently, thoughtfully; and though he was ashamed to admit it even to himself, even with note of apprehension nagging in his gut. The girl who was at best a traitor and a worst, a spy, the girl who was supposed to be nothing more than a curiosity had unwittingly turned everything on it's head and any misstep there was to be made could easily lay his downfall out as clear as day.

Kindness was not something that Ren knew well, if at all; not anymore anyways. And it wasn't something he had known for a very long time. But be that as it may, standing there, watching her sleep so awkwardly positioned with her arms folded around herself to ward off the chill in the room, he couldn't help but feel it stirred something within him. A gentle urge, an annoying tug to show her some sort of concern; a dull need to put her comfort above his own as recompense for the way he had already treated her and perhaps even for whatever was to follow suit. It was foolish, as far as he was concerned, but unavoidable all the same.

Boots crunching over glass shards and remnants of the broken table, he spanned the distance between them carefully, and as quietly as he could so as not to disturb her. Lowering himself beside Elara he slipped his arms under her and pulled her in close to himself shifting her weight off the chair and gently cradling her against his chest. She stirred slightly, and curled into him a little closer as he stood. Then breath of her sleepful sigh feathering over his skin as she tucked her head in against his neck and slipped her hand over his shoulder; curiously, or perhaps instinctively drawing out a tighter, more protective grip as he spirited her away to the comfort of his own bed. She was featherweight and warm in his arms; fragile and soft and the first thing he had anchored himself to in something other than anger and hatred for the first time in years that seemed beyond measure and it was intriguing and infuriating at once.

She sighed again softly, sinking into the mattress of his bed and draping her arm across the pillow as he set her down; adjusting herself to the comfort of which she had been so deprived of since being aboard The Finalizer. Gently, Ren dragged a thick fur lined blanked across her delicate frame and tucked the edges in at her side to secure it before exhaustedly taking his own resting place for the night. Something which would prove infinitely less comfortable for him than it ever would have been for someone of Elara's stature. A necessary sacrifice, but a sacrifice all the same.

Long legs stretching and resting on the footboard, Ren slumped down in his bedside chair and folded about himself now, entirely unable to take his attention away from her for even a split second. How easy it would to wander through her subconscious as she slept. How easy it would be to slip inside and cherry pick the answers to so many pressing questions and be done with the entire situation. To move on with bigger and better plans and leave this tiny nuisance of a girl to whom he was bound in such an inexplicable and confusing manner. How easy it would be to have everything he wanted in the palm of his hand right then and there and leave her none the wiser as she remained still deeply rooted in such peaceful slumber.

If only he could bring himself to do so, that is.

He knew what he had to do and he full well knew what he should have been able to do. He should have been able to ruthlessly take what he wanted. He should have been able to take whatever he wanted from her just as easily he took whatever he wanted from everyone else who opposed him and stood in his way. He should have been able to disregard whatever memory it was he had unearthed; what was so shared between them but shared so long ago. He should have been able to ignore everything to do with everything of every foolish thing that ran through his mind in regards to her.

But not this time.

If only he could bring himself to do so many things now, but he couldn't.

For all his strength and all his power, the only thing he could manage to do was fix his eyes on hers and take watch intently over her as she slept; until his eyes too, fell heavy and weak, and he slipped into unconsciousness as deep as her own.

For all his strength and all his power, he was frozen against her. A barrier he had to break through; a barrier he should have been able to break through.

If only it weren't for the only thing he could think of when he looked on her. The immovable object to meet his unstoppable force.

Ben.

The one hurdle he couldn't manage to jump and the one roadblock he could not navigate around.

Ben.

One simple word that ensured he could never now, tell anyone else of what in her he saw or what in her he hoped to gleam.

Ben.

One simple word that still bounced around his brain and toyed with every sense of what he knew about himself, resurfaced from where it was buried so long ago.

Ben.

One simple world that continued to echo right through him even under the grip of the first satisfying sleep he had managed to achieve in weeks. Soft as a spring breeze and loud as a lion.

Ben.

Stuck on repeat in his mind as it ripped him from his slumber, lost in his own surroundings and at the mercy of a new disturbance.

"Commander Ren!"

He jolted upright in his chair sleep dazed and weary but coherent enough to know the men barged into his quarters couldn't mean anything other than trouble; exactly the last thing he needed or wanted at the time being. Pulling himself up right he glanced about the room and his stomach dropped to the floor. Where he had expected to see her just flustered as he was at the sudden announcement, the bed at his side now lay disheveled, with blankets tossed hastily to the floor, and notably vacant.

"Shit." He cursed under his breath and ran flung his chair against the wall in frustration.

"Commander Ren...Sir?" A lone stormtrooper nervously sprang into the room. "Sir, apologies sir. I was told you weren't to be disturbed, sir but-"

"And yet here you are… disturbing me." Ren growled, exacting his temper and the disdain for his own stupidity on the unfortunate grunt.

"Yes...I'm sorry. B-but General Hux...the bridge...you-you're needed straight away sir, there's a problem."

"I'm on my way."

He kicked the chair against the wall again and drug his fingers through his hair, and devised just how exactly, he was going to handle the crisis unfolding and just what he could expect to hear from the insipid little monkey on his back. There was no time for 'I told you so.' nor did he have the mind to hear it. There was absolutely nothing Elara could have learned in the short time she had apparently taken her leave and ran off to parts unknown on the ship that would have been damaging to either him or The First Order itself, but in all certainty that fact would be rather keenly omitted in the matter that Hux would most definitely spin things.

"Shit, shit." Ren berated himself inwardly again.

For every hesitance he had had, he would take it back in a moment. At his nicety to his 'guest' he had been played a fool.

The bridge of the ship bustled with activity by the time he had made his way there and in the midst of it all stood Hux, red faced and shouting commands at anyone who had ability to handle them.

"Make ready the ventral cannons."

"Stand down." Ren counter acted the command, cool facade present in light of the crisis at hand.

"That is a direct order...load the ventral cannons...now!" Hux turned to face the commander, rage written on his face. "How dare you undermine my command."

"Stand down." He ordered again briskly voice laced with venom as he invited any defiance to his word.

"Sir?"

Hux bit back a wave of frustration and begrudgingly conceded. "Stand down."

"What's the meaning of all this, Hux?"

"What's the meaning of all this, Ren?" The general growled, incensed that he was being questioned at all let alone when the situation at hand was crystal clear. "Your girl is on the lamb! That's the meaning of all this. She's taken a TIE fighter and made a grand escape...what do you think of her now hmm? This one didn't even need any help from my men. This one should have been in her cell instead of playing companion in your quarters so don't you think of shifting your mess on to my men now."

"I'll handle it." Ren assured him flatly. Once again quite unable to suppress the rush of admiration that Elara even had the guts to make such a brazen move; all frustration he felt toward her aside.

"Well you haven't handled it so far." Hux spat, flirting with disaster as once again he skrited the line of all out war with the young commander.

"I said, I'll handle it."

"Well, then you'd best hurry and get on with it...she's a good pilot your girl. She's eluded our fighters and brough two of them down already. And by now she's likely half way to that insignificant piece of shit planet down there. Now why do you think that is?"

"Is this the time for you to tell me you were right?" Ren mocked him, edge in his voice ever growing. "Should we talk more, or would you rather I go and get her?"

He turned heel to make his way to the docking bay only to have Hux freeze him in his tracks, borderline gleefully chastising him one last time.

"Look what you've done...look how far you've fallen...already."

Ren snapped, and spun back to face him. Lightsaber igniting in a flash or crimson and coming to rest mere inches away from Hux's throat; instantly silencing the condescension and replacing it with a tense standoff.

"Test me again." He warned through clenched teeth. "I warned you."

How he would have loved to end the petty feud in a split second and be rid of Hux for good; humiliate him in front of the army he was so proud and take control of the forces he was so proud of developing from the ground up and show them what real leadership and power could mean. But for the second time in as many days, situation did not favor him enough to grant him the timing to see his greatest desires through.

"Better hurry up, you might lose her."

An antagonistic smirk pasted over Hux' face as Ren retracted his weapon; haze of blood lust and hatred that hung over him giving way to realization of what needed to be done in the moment.

"Clean up your mess Ren...or next time I'll blast her out of the sky."

Ren turned and resumed effort to find his way to the docking bay.

"Prepare my ship." He spat order to an officer at his side. And stormed off."

She was gone. Left him played a fool. But if current trend was to continue, another puzzle piece was about to find its place.


	7. Chapter Six: Unsteady Ground Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, bit of another filler chapter. I hope to have the second part up tomorrow or monday. I had to break it into two and use this one as somewhat of a filler again becuase other than that it would probably be about 16 pages long :P not kidding. Anyways, this is the start of the action picking up, i promise it's going somewhere, i just like slow burns so hopefully stick with it...it'll turn out :P P.S. I invented a planet because it seemed out of the realm of possiblity to use anything in existence already so there you go. Any comments thus far are greatly welcomed :)

Ren's Silencer cut through the sky.

Full speed, chewing up distance more quickly than seemed possible with her fighter in his sights. She toyed with the others, the handful of pilots circling around her and trying to reel her in. They wouldn't dare fire on her now of course, he had made his wishes clear that it was recovery now to be made, not elimination, but still they were of use in trying to slow her progress. She maneuvered around them with ease. Each move they made, she was already two ahead, darting around them and turning sharply, forcing awkward reaction and near misses as they came within a hair of sideswiping each other and taking themselves out of the equation.

Hux was right. Elara was a good pilot; better than good even. She handled herself well under the pressure, and out running and slyly escaping the grip of the well-trained pilots sent to hunt her down was no small feat to say the least.

Ren was impressed, again. Begrudgingly so, but all the same, impressed.

That being said, all "good things" must come to an end, and Ren wasn't about to be left out of the proverbial party. Put her to the test by his own accord, go toe to toe and test her salt before he put a damper on whatever foolish game she had set in her mind to play out. Pushing his ship further he gained ground on her as the others fell back, putting her straight in his sights and resting hot on her tail.

Even then she didn't disappoint.

Even as he engaged her in a fast-paced dance in the sky, Elara refused to relent, matching him move for move. Drawing him in, just close enough and then dropping lower in her path forcing him to follow suit and mimic her before she pulled up at just the right second to be able to double back and rest behind him. Circling back and launching forward across his path, drawing him closer and closer to the surface of the small forested planet before them, never faltering once in her path or her very clear intent to lock it in as her destination for what reason he couldn't quite wrap his mind around.

Nebrus was the least likely place he would have expected her to go. It was obsolete, not exactly the definition of a wasteland, but never the less not a thriving planet by any respect. It was useless, uninhabited save for a small colony on the far side of its reaches, which they were far from being anywhere close to. Whatever purpose she had for leading him there, or trying to make a run for it and take up in Nebrus was beyond him. It was pointless to hope there would be any salvation found there, especially on her own with no resources but the clothes on her back and no alliance that would mean any aid to her.

But still, Nebrus was what Elara ventured straight towards, focused and fixed on her goal and Ren quite simply could not allow it. With miles of forest and bountiful cover at her fingertips, he would never find her if she made to land on her own volition and he couldn't take the risk. With miles of forest around her, he would never find her unless he took her down and forced her to ditch exactly where he wanted her to.

A few minutes more he entertained her. Just enough to let her get comfortable in her plot. Just enough to let her think she had the upper hand before he could weave a net and catch her in her own trap. Just enough to let her lead him onwards as they breached the planet's atmosphere and dropped lower and lower towards the surface. He turned on the heat once more and forced her back into his hand, called her play as she dipped low him and fell behind him again only to have him play mimic to her. Playing copycat to her copycat and he was behind her again, acting once decisively and with gold impeccable precision.

He shot her down.

Just the slightest hit, just to the outside of the fighter. Just enough to send her spiralling and struggling to control the descent of her craft as it plummeted lower and lower with each passing second. Just a single shot, just enough to make sure she'd have to go down, and take it to the ground and quickly if she wanted to live. But she was a good pilot, better than good, and in the last moments, before she dropped further from his sight, Elara returned the favor, somehow managing monetary and exceptional control of her failing fighter in order to fire off around of her own. Once again, Ren found himself impressed. Rather nonplussed, but impressed all the same. She could handle herself and she wasn't afraid to show it off.

They were wounded doves, plummeting from the sky, tearing through the treetops and slamming into the ground, dragging deep trenches in the earth and spraying debris across the forest floor as they came to rest; Elara first, Ren not far behind her in timing or in distance. She winced and shifted in the seat of her fighter, now but a shell of its former self, and shook off the cobwebs from the impact; forcing herself go gather her bearings and fight through the discomfort to make her escape.

"Son of a bitch." She growled, and fumbled with the straps of the belt that held her in place.

There wasn't much time.

One way or another a shit storm was headed their way and to say freeing herself from the wreckage and act quickly was an understatement. It had been a calculated risk taken, but a necessarily one nonetheless. A risk taken to level the playing field and in some way, shape or form make stronger the alliance that was as of yet still shaky and burgeoning. Landing closer to her intended target, however, and causing such a spectacle that undoubtedly drew attention; landing straight in the middle of the "hot zone" so to speak, was the last thing she had intended, or needed for that matter. Par for the course at present, and hopefully nothing she couldn't find a way to work around.

One thing of comfort that had clicked into play just like magic, to good fortune and just as Elara had hoped and planned it would.

She had drawn him out.

Her main objective had been met. Her little joy ride just a rouse, a show for appearance and a masterpiece she had enacted in the sky; just enough attention and motivation to entice Ren out and lead him on a daring chase. Elara knew he would be able the temptation to personally hunt her down. She knew he would never actually allow any harm to meet her. Not now anyway, not after the way she had seen him so rattled when he left. He was too invested at the moment and he was exceptionally terrible at not putting it out for the world to see.

What she had  _not_  expected, however, was for him to shoot her out of the sky. Though she supposed she should be grateful his aim and that it wasn't the dead on hit she would have thought it would have been. What she had  _not_  expected was to barely cruise the fighter to its disaster of a landing just but a hair's through away from a Resistance outpost and straight into a hot bed

Her plan was meant to be a reconnaissance mission of shorts. Showing Ren what she had to offer, the tip of the iceberg and a lasting promise for so much more. Part one of many on a promise Elara filly intended to carry out if it was the last thing she did if it was the last thing she did. But now the grand display she was trying to put forth was undoubtedly compromised and complicated in a very complicated way. She could already hear the ground forces mobilizing, incoherent shouts to take action echoing in the distance. That was the problem with vastly uninhabited planets, open air was a like a vacuum. Even the slightest sound could, and would carry for miles and all attempts at being discrete had officially flown out the window.

Elara launched herself out of the fighter and crashed clumsily to the ground. Dusting herself off, she rounded the ship and crouched down behind one of the wings, straining to keep one ear on the approach of Resistance forces and one ear on any progress in movement from her fallen compadre, for lack of a better word. She was between a rock and a hard place. On one had a unit of, meager, troops headed up in search for survivors from the crash and on the other her so gracious host. Predictably irritated at the very least, and likely headed straight for her with nothing but unrelenting vengeance on his mind; and Elara had not even a single blaster as side arm to come to her aid if needed. Or when needed when it came to the case of Ren himself; who Elara assumed probably let not one waking second without his lightsaber by his side.

She could hear him now, making his way through the underbrush of the crash site. Stomping his way towards a clearer path, hacking and slicing at whatever stood in his way with his aforementioned weapon; wielding it wildly, sending it's reverberations slicing through the air with audible fury equalling the physical. Elara held herself on baited breath, waiting for just the very first few seconds of visual. Her timing had to be precise, to carry out the second round of cat and mouse. Just a split second to see him, just a split second for her to catch his eye before she would make to move. Just enough head start to get her to her intended hiding spot before he could catch her and do what he will with her; exact a punishment, revenge or just flat out kill her and put and end to all the nonsense. But not enough of a head start to leave him wide open and vulnerable to the troops.

A fine balance, and a chase that stood on the edge of a knife.

Ren's heavy footsteps drew closer and Elara heard him growl as he ripped through more undergrowth as he marched towards the remnants of her fighter. She drew a shaky breath and counted the foot falls, a calculating the distance between them in her head.

_Five feet away…_

_Three feet…_

_Two…_

She darted out from behind the wing, halting momentarily on the forest path to catch him off guard and stare him down before taking off at a run to lead him deeper and out of sight.

He could have easily froze her to the spot. With all that magnificent power he had at his fingertips, even across the short span of distance between them. He could have held her captive with as little as a glance or the wave of his hand. A fact which he seemingly refused to acknowledge or use against her; at least for now anyways. Instead he merely carried on, still seething as he but barely even an increment more urgency as he barged onward after her. Hurriedly Elara made her way around a bend on the makeshift trail, a small hollow just in the distance set in her sights. She shot a glance over her shoulder, Ren hadn't yet caught up, but there was no use in standing out in the open, waiting for other bodies to come upon her standing twiddling her thumbs, locked in motionless anticipation for her formidable escort.

She dove to the ground at the foot of the hollow, worming her way through a thicket at its base and laying herself out flat, peering between the branches to catch the first sign of a heavy black boot that came at the precise moment echoes over the hill in the opposite direction sounded out their approach.

Ren paused, to catch ear of the sound of The Resistance ground troops that scouted the area, still in his tracks just long enough for Elara to grab his attention. Her arm shot out from under the thicket the blanketed her in its disguise and she wrapped a hand around his ankle. Elara's arm shot out from under the thicket that blanketed her disguise and she grabbed and still he stood stone fast like a statue. Scrutinizing stare icy as it flashed down to her through the vines, and back up again. If this had been her grand idea, he would show her a thing or two. He would show her how he would tear every last one of them to the ground; make and example and burn everything to the ground out of spite. A punishment perhaps, retribution for taking advantage of a situation wasting his time.

"No." She hissed through her teeth, losing her grip on his ankle, begging him wordlessly as his hand flexed against the hilt of his lightsaber. "Get down."

Ren tossed her pleas to the side, unrelenting in his stance and digging his feet into the earth, steadying himself for the upcoming attack; forgetting the one reproach Elara had left in her pocket. One weakness, so to speak, to be played upon. One last attempt to sway him and force him to bend just a little, just for the moment and just enough to turn the tides back in her favor. He was so focused on his attack, he left his mind wide open to her. And though Elara had no real understanding of how the force and digging into someone's mind worked, all she could figure was there was the slimmest chance if she had once heard him playing in her head, then he could hear her.

It was worth a shot, her only shot really and she fixed her intent on him. Every ounce of energy she had in order to be heard on a wish and a prayer.

" _Please...get down. Or you'll only make it worse...trust me._ "

Ren's attention snapped back towards her. Brow furrowed, taken aback and bewildered his hand saber fell to his side and his grip as he stood down slightly, thrown off by the distraction, stunned even at her ability to project herself, her thoughts on to him without being forced; without being prodded. It had never happened before, at least not to the best of his knowledge, and it certainly  _shouldn't_  be happening now. Unless he was entirely wrong about her, wrong about every reason he couldn't best her in digging through her memories, wrong about every sense of what she was and the strange bond that overcame them both at its will. A strange proposition to consider, but a confusing one and something he was in no position to entertain.

" _Don't do this… just get down...please_."

She was desperate, that much he was certain of. Desperate in her need for him to comply.

" _Trust me…please...they're coming...trust me."_

One simple phrase spoken in such need. One simple phrase that rang in his ears just that one accursed word had but a few hours earlier.

The snap of a branch from the distance not so very far up ahead of them, around a bend in the trail still sight unseen. There was only but a moment to make a decision, choose his fate, or perhaps  _their_  fate even. One split second to make a decision and only but one simple phrase on which to base it. One split second to process the options and decide her bid for trust was means to an end to make an affirmation or little more than a clever ploy.

One split second, and one simple phrase that had him in a stranglehold.

 _Trust me_.


	8. Chapter Seven: Unsteady Ground Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sheesh, thirteen pages...a new record for me...Shouldn't happen again lol sorry, I know it's long. Comments, critique, review always welcome :)

_**Chapter Seven: Unsteady Ground Pt. Four** _

 

 

Ren snarled. No matter how much he disagreed and how much he hated it, there was really only one choice to make. Disdainfully weak and pitiful, cowardly even, and it there was anything he loathed other than being cowardly and weak or even remotely putting himself in such a light, he had yet to discover it.

 

The crimson glow of his light saber vanished in a flash. If there was more to the story here yet to be seen, more she would bring to her knowledge and so willingly throw herself to the wolves in order to do, then now a was not the time nor the place to bow to the man power of The Resistance, not matter how bountiful or how sparse it should so happen to be. No matter how ridiculous and thoughtless the circumstances may be, the bigger picture was the only thing that mattered, and getting to the grand reveal of said bigger picture was the task at hand that could not now afford any more missteps. Ren needed as much shot at an upper hand for The First Order, and putting his pride aside, even if it came with indignity and a bruised ego on his part, he would do anything to attain even the slightest opportunity when presented; if that in fact was what this was.

 

Smoothly, swiftly, he ducked down and slid into the confines of the hollow to join her in her hiding spot, his shoulder grazing the jagged edge of something solid enough to tear through cloak and flesh along the way. This was no simple hollow, no standard overturned tree, small rock cave, or hollowed out root bundle. Straining against the dim light to see, above him there was only metal and mechanics, durasteel emblazoned by a bright red flash. This was no common hollow, this was planetary overgrowth, fauna taking back its rightful place over a downed X-Wing fighter split in to pieces. Nature reclaiming its rightful state over the wreckage, resetting things in order after the last time two factions clashed in the galaxy, battling over the way things should be. It was symbolic and eerie at the same time, tranquil and oddly comforting, a reminder and a hint at what was still to come in the skirmish ahead. A sacred ground of sorts, this makeshift hiding spot held more than met the eye, and it as something Elara should have had no instant knowledge of; and yet somehow she did.

 

Just beyond the stretch of the branches that granted them with cover, a quadrad of booted feet came to halt just in front of the hollow, none the wiser of the secret sanctuary but none the less a little too close for Ren’s comfort. One simple move could give them away, one simple word and she could have delivered him into the hands of the enemy.

 

“Nothing that way.”

 

One of the men reported, two minimally maned units converging from opposite directions into one.

 

 

Ren’s sights set on Elara and didn’t so much as budge from her the entire time their adversarial company stood before them. His frustration radiated off him in waves, seething, heavy and as evident as the warmth of his body pressed close beside her in the close quarters of her hideout they now shared.

 

“We had eyes on the ground, eyes up the trees and everywhere else for that matter.” The soldier continued. “Nothing...nothing anywhere. I don’t get it. We’ve cleared our grid and not even a trace.”

 

“Just wreckage on our side all the way down past the hill on our side.” Another voice chimed in. “They went down hard enough to tear the ships up pretty bad but not hard enough for casualty. They ditched...they’re gone….they could have landed miles from here bet they don’t even know we exist.”

 

“Yeah, sure...they _could_ be.”

 

“You think they're still here?”

 

“Good chance they are.”

 

Ren’s hand reached for his side instinctively, gut reaction to set on them and pick them off one by one. Their numbers hadn’t exactly lived up to expectation based on the less than inconspicuous ruckus they have kicked up as they’d traipsed through the forest; it could have been an easy ambush and a quick take down for him before throwing the waste to ruin and heading back to face whatever music remained to face.

 

“There’s no tracks, no disturbance.”

 

“Better safe than sorry. Circle back, make another pass...should be enough to sniff them out if they’re they’re close by...we’ll rally and make a plan once we know more. “

 

“Roger that.”

 

He could have pulled it off, shaken free of the trouble Elara had gotten them in. It’s all he wanted to do, all he itched to do; the only think he had ever known to do when it came down to it. Strike first and think second, rush headlong into the fray and ask questions later; if there was anyone left alive and standing to take questions that is. Strike first was always his gut reaction.

 

“Better vox back to base, rally the A-Wings...get a pass over every inch of these woods from east to west...we can cover more ground with a bird’s eye.”

 

“Right, moving out. We’ll get it done.”

 

Strike first and ask questions later, that was always Ren’s gut instinct.

 

But this time, however, there was something stuck smack dab in the middle of his path. Just as The Resistance started their retreat to resume their search, just as he made to spring forth from under the remnants of the X-Wing and launch attack, Elara’s arm shot forward and grabbed at him even faster, holding him steadfast to his place beside her as she shook her head chastising and insistent.

 

The sharpness with which he jerked his arm free from her grip and the soured glare he shot in her direction didn’t dissuade her in the least. Her heart raced against her breastbone, Ren could feel it just as strongly as he felt his own as she leaned up against him, further aid in keeping him glued to his place alongside her. Her excitement was palpable in the space between them as the footsteps of the troops drifted into the distance second by second as the pair of them laid still against the moss bed beneath them.

 

She loved it, Ren could tell. Clear as day, she loved it. Elara lived for the risk, for the thrill of the danger of it all. She lived for the rush at the thought of being caught red handed like a thief in a market place; whether or not she would have the means to fight her way out of it was a different story altogether, but she lived for the mere chance. But that wasn’t all, not even by half. Beneath the shallow level exhilaration that played through her, there was something more to what Elara felt. Something Ren recognized, something he knew all too well, and something he did not quite expect.

 

Anger, rage even.

 

Strong and heavy enough in its grip over her to fuel her every intent an bold enough to lay waste to anything or anyone that came between her and her utmost desire.

 

Waiting a moment more to ensure they were in the clear and the foot soldiers had passed well out of earshot, Elara shifted her weight and stooped as best she could to pull Ren upright and lead him further into the depths of the hollow. Downwards she lead him, thick undergrowth flanking them on either side through the strange earthen path hollowed out like a corridor from where the fighter had scored deeply through the surface of the forest floor. Downwards, she lead him, until the clearing was near devoid of any light at all save for what filtered through thick canopies of foliage over head. Downwards, slipping down two solid ledges and a shallow spring that spliced through the whole of the wreckage. It was a perfect haven away from the outside world and any prying eyes that might linger around; a microcosm in itself with a perfect view point for what Elara so longed to show him.

 

Ren eyed her skeptically as they came to rest just under one of the wings of the fighter. Twin A-Wing engines hummed in the distance, drawing nearer by the second.

 

“They can’t see, it’s safe, don’t worry. The branches are too thick, they won’t get a visual; and the wreck’s enough to fuck with their tracking system.” She assured him , sussing out the lay of the land and trying to remember the exact bearings of a place she had somewhat forgotten; her memories chased away quite effectively by years of absence. “They might know this is here, but they don’t know you can get in...it’s safe, I promise you.”

 

“You’re so sure.”

 

“Mmm-hmm.”

 

“And yet you do.” Ren followed suit in her surveillance of the hollow. “How? Why?”

 

“It’s my father’s fighter...the last one he ever flew before they blew him out of the sky.” Elara flashed him a saddened smile. “I used to come here...often.”

 

She motioned him forward just a little; towards another ledge blanked from sight by a thick curtain of roping vines and glossy green leaves.

 

“Reserve base.” She nodded her head towards the edge again. “Take a look if you want. I didn’t bring you here to trap you. You can poke around in my head if you don’t believe me.”

 

Ren obliged and pushed past her, gloved hand skirting away the branches as he peered out at what Elara had to offer. As she said, as small Resistance outpost bustling with activity like a busy hive as they scrambled to deal with the presumed threat and figure out just what had happened; as they assessed the threat of anything else else that has the possibility to follow. This is what she had to lay at his feet. This was her ace in the hole, her trump card, her bargaining chip. And as far as Ren was concerned, it didn't exactly disappoint.

 

“You want them? You wanna destroy every last one of them right here, right now then go ahead. Be my guest.” Elara inched closer to him. “Rush down there and take them out. You probably could you know, I’d say there’s less than a dozen of them holed up down there...I’m sure you could manage quite nicely with everything at your disposal.”

 

Ren cast her a sidelong glance, chin tilting upwards, sloughing off any jab to his ego about his recklessness intentional or not.

 

“Couple A-Wings, a few skimmers...but that’s all there really is. They’re holding down the fort. It’s a safe house for when the time comes calling but The Resistance never mans these outposts very well. They don’t have the means...anymore.”

 

“Why?” He furrowed his brow as he continued to take in the scene before him. “Why did you bring me? Why would you give them so willingly?”

 

“Because I want them to burn…as much as you do.” She set her sites outward on the base alongside Ren. Solid as he was and intensity matching his own. “ I can’t do it alone...but I can give them to you...every last outpost. Everywhere they have a base, everywhere they have left to run, I can tell you...Every last name-”

 

“I don’t need names.” Ren spat.

 

“Fine...not even the names of the spies in your ranks?” She sparred back. “I know them all. I can weed them out...if they’re still alive.”

 

“You think I can’t?”

 

“You haven’t so far.”

 

Ren scoffed and retreated from his impromptu observatory, moving past her and stalking about the clearing as a means to process what she had to bear.

 

“And D’Qar...that’s where you’ll find the base...D’Qar...that’s where you’ll find the base. The last time I checked anyways.”

 

He froze in his tracks, Elara at his back primed and ready to hammer and alliance in steel.

 

“You want to watch their world burn, turn it to ruin and raise a new empire from the ashes? I can help you.” Elara offered. “The only question is, will you help me?”

 

A proposition like no other and Ren had been right. She had in fact come to him with so much to wield in the way of information, in the way of power. And now she stood at his feet, surrendering everything she had so freely all to meet a common end, all for the greater good as she saw it clear as day just as he did. For what reason she would want the Resistance to meet the same end as he did, Ren had no idea; not yet anyways.

 

But he had been right, she could be valuable. She _would_ be valuable.

 

A proposition like no other, from a girl, as of yet, like no other.

 

And now the ball was entirely in his court.

 

***

 

The best course of action, was to at the very least stay the night on Nebrus.

 

While the forces at at the reserve outpost were limited but Elara’s insider account, it wasn't to say they couldn’t call on extra man power to have their back. Calling back and making a move back to the Finalizer would draw too much attention too quickly. If it was a strike he was to make, Ren wanted it to be planned, calculated; a move made one more than just one base at once, cut of their resources; cut of the arms of the proverbial beast before doing away with the head and leaving it without any means to rebuild. If The Resistance learned that The First Order was lingering in the area with a star destroyer they would likely pull up camp from Nebrus, wherever else they had out posted, and more than probably D’Qar as well. While Elara had claimed to know exactly where all possible safe havens were, a mass exodus the rebel hunt that would follow wasn’t something Ren wanted to entertain. A swift victory was what he sought, what he longed for. The ability to boast that he had been the one to enact the fall of The Resistance single handedly. He wanted to be able to be the one whose plans and strategy had restored appropriate order to the galaxy. To make The Supreme Leader proud and secure himself officially as a force to be reckoned with and make solid his projected fate. Too much attention now, would only throw all of it into jeopardy, and already too many missteps had been made. So, stay the night in the hollow hidden from sight they would; with only each other for company and an infinite amount of time for questions to be answered, of which Ren still had many.

 

By nightfall, the air was cold and still. It carried but a handful of echoes from the base below, and none of them were too alarming. Safely concealed for the night Ren and Elara took refuge under an arch of the fighter bent beyond recognition covered in rust and bound by roots of nearby trees, it provided perfect shield against the wind that whipped around the forest, and a sheltered place to sleep if they could manage any.

 

He watched her like a hawk.

 

Staring silently across the span of a small fire they’d built to keep warm by. She was quiet, absentmindedly pushing a stick through the soft earth at the foot of the fire, tracing random patterns and biding her time. She was captivating by the firelight that highlighted her delicate features and made her glow. She was still and calm; her mind at ease and vacant of any troubles she that had or continued to plague her. Perhaps it was the location that did it, being close to the only tangible thing she had known of her father. Perhaps she got some sense of him around her, some sense that he was near somehow; an unseen comfort apparent only to her. Or rather, maybe it was the way she had some solid ground on which to now stand. A common goal with him to keep her in good standing for the time being; safety and security as long as she provided what she had so promised.

 

Whatever the reason, she was quiet, relaxed and peaceful even. Ren couldn’t help but be jealous of her. For far too long he’d had he weight of the world resting heavy on his shoulders, his heart and his mind. Something that he would have given almost anything to be rid of, but something that he was quite sure wasn’t going to change at any point soon

 

“How did you come to The First Order?” He questioned her quietly, distracting himself from his own inner turmoils and fixating on the rest of the mystery that surrounded Elara.

 

“Kind of obvious isn’t it?” Her eyes found his, two pools of jade linting in the glow of the embers. “I mean superficially.”

 

“Superficially isn’t what I meant...you know that.” Ren chided. “No more games.”

 

Elara sighed.

 

“Tell me.”

 

“How did I come to The First Order?” Elara parroted and shifted uncomfortably at the inquiry. “I guess I didn’t really have a choice.”

 

“There’s always a choice.”

 

“Yeah, well not when you’ve been ousted from the only family you’ve ever known there isn’t...not that you’d know anything about that.”

 

“You might be surprised.” Ren grumbled, his face downcast to conceal the bitter spark of sad nostalgia she stirred. He chased away, picking pebbles out of the earth and gruffly tossing them into the fire; his eyes fixed on the flames so as to not betray is formidable facade. “There’s always a choice…”

 

“They booted me. The Resistance, turned me away with no real reason, no real explanation...like I didn’t even matter, like I hadn’t even done anything for them, like I hadn’t even helped the cause.” Elara grumbled resentfully jabbing at the fire with her stick.

 

“Typical.” Ren scoffed.

 

“Guess I expected more but I had to settle for what I was given I suppose. More compassion...more understanding, decency maybe.”

 

“People don’t grant those things to someone they can’t comprehend...to people who don’t align and fall into complacency. They don’t grant those things to people who frighten them…”

 

“I hardly frightened them.”

 

“No? Not even a little?”

 

“I don’t see how they would have been...or why they would have been.”

 

“I do.”

 

Heavy silence hung between them and Ren’s words did nothing but spark confusion in Elara. She was hardly anyone to have been questioned or feared at any point in her time in The Resistance or The First Order alike. She could handle her own, give back what she got and by no means would she put up with much without raising a fight. But what backbone and spirit she had, what means she made herself heard was a far cry from anything to be feared weary of; at least as far as she could see.

 

She cleared her throat and carried on, leaving the side topic at hand lingering in the back of her mind.

 

“I had nowhere to go, and no real skills to depend on. What option did I have? Scavenging for whatever I could, scraping by and worrying about when I’d next get a chance to eat? Slaving away on some piece of shit lost planet? No, thanks. The First Order was really the only logical option there was.”

 

“Your family? Your mother?”

 

“Please.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. As if he thought his question would ever have been something that would have had merit or been anything she would have ever considered. “You said so yourself, she threw me away. Why would I ever go back?”

 

“Not everything is always so cut and dry.”

 

“Yeah, and some things are.” She countered bitterly. “ Only one thing I was ever good at anyway, so I enlisted...whether or not it was an idea I liked at the time is a different matter altogether.”

 

“Pilot?”

 

“For a while anyways...shit happens and your enemies aren’t the only people who can stab you in the back.”

 

Ren smirked. They were more alike than they were different. No matter how differing their situations were, the more she spoke, the more he could understand Elara; the more he could relate to her even. The wall she wove around herself, her defiance, her fortitude, the more she talked the more it came clear she mirrored him almost exactly in her strengths and more than likely in her negative traits the same. They were cut from the same cloth, two of a kind and it threw him off in ways he would never have really expected.

 

“Ty Sharrak,” She continued. “He was a squad lead...but should have never been trusted...or anything else.”

 

He arched a brow inquisitively.

 

“Go on.”

 

“Dig if you want...that’s all you’ll get from me for now. He’s likely been branded a deserter...traitor even maybe. Fuck if I know.”

 

“Nothing more to say? Really?”

 

“He was no deserter...leave it at that.”

 

A mix of malice and self satisfaction danced across Elara’s face and she fell silent for a moment, relishing in some long buried memory she didn’t see fit to speak to anyone of her own volition for the time being.

 

“Maybe a story for another day...if another day ever brings the chance to tell it.”

 

Ren shrugged begrudgingly, not entirely pleased with the abrupt end to the tale but not fully certain pressing her on the issue would serve his best interest. “And The Resistance...your time here?”

 

“An even longer explanation...one that’ll make me really unpleasant to be around.” She shook her head with a smirk and stifled a yawn. “It’s late, and your still bleeding...by the way.”

 

He dipped his head and followed her eye line to the torn fabric on his shoulder, the flesh beyond it in plain sight and indeed still weeping crimson tears that contrasted starkly with his pallor even at the hands of the fire’s glow. It was inflamed and ugly. Torn open deeper and worse than he had first realized.

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

Elara leaned forward, straining as she reached over the span of the fire to press her hand to the wound.

 

“Really?” She pulled back, delicate fingers streaked heavily with fresh warm blood.

 

“It’s nothing.” Ren asserted again.

 

“Sure.” Elara shrugged. "I guess so. I mean nothing that a med droid won’t enjoy digging dirt out of for hours in the morning...if that’s your thing.”

 

He rolled his eyes and jut his jaw, his own stubbornness kicking in to meet hers.

 

“It’s just a scratch.”

 

“Then humor me, let me seal it up and save the trouble.”

 

He knew she was right, though he’d never admit it outwardly. Open wounds in an open field were trouble; not that it ever really bothered him or caused him to care all that much at times previous. But hard headed and willful in her own respect, Elara likely wouldn’t let it rest entirely unless he complied.

 

“And if I don’t?”

 

“I can’t force you to do anything.” She smiled. “Choice is yours...just trying to help...one last gesture of good faith to go on can’t hurt, can it?”

 

He wasn’t familiar with the feeling of someone wanting to help him either through some kind of service or through some way of benefiting themselves, it was a foreign concept to him now. Perhaps he had been accustomed to it once, long ago; the concept of being tended to, cared for but that was so long ago and far too much had happened. He had never really been presented with the chance of anyone to bestow the favor on him. Now all he really likened having someone attend to his split skin was weakness and frailty and it frustrated him. It should have been left to scar up on its own, however painful the healing process or however long it took. He should have been lefty marked by his own accord, a reminder of mistakes made never to be made again; though he supposed in the situation at hand, the theory of such method by which to learn his lessons didn’t really apply.

 

All the same, he wasn’t used to being regarded as anything less than untouchable and unscathable; and now he was to fall victim to an impromptu nurse maid at the fault of a scratch on some shard of rusted metal. It was no use to belabor his point and argue any further, however. With barely any more acknowledgment of her offer Elara had already cut cloth from her own garments with which to clean the wound and had scavenged a small scrap of metal and placed it in the flames; readying it to cauterize the wound. As much as he hated to admit it, and as out of character as it was for him, sometimes half the battle was knowing when to admit defeat.

 

She scooted towards him and sat back on her heels as he set about unwinding his cloak from his shoulders, doing her best to avert her eyes a little as he disrobed before her if not for his sake then rather for her own. Pulling his cowl free from his torso, it perfectly tousled already disheveled dark hair as she stole a glance upwards at him. For the second time in as many days Elara was caught off guard by the sight before her. He was magnificent, every bit as solid as she imagined he would have been beneath his robes. Wiry and built at the same time. Strong shoulders and of stature that was a sight for sore eyes. She flushed a little as she moved towards him, instantly unable to think of just how long it had been since she had seen a man, even in half a state of undress.

 

Gently, she dabbed a dampened strip of cloth against the ugly gash that otherwise marred the elegantly pale, smooth skin of his upper chest. Another war wound to explain away. Another would be scar to match the others that criss crossed over his body, each one a reminder of battles past; and undoubtedly he had been through a few. Ren hissed at the sting of the cloth against him as the she ensured every inch was cleaned of debris and dried blood, tugging at the tender edges of the wound; each pass burning a little more, throbbing a little more in her wake.

 

Weakness, once again, rising to the forefront and put out on broad display for her to see. It wasn’t just the pain that caught his breath and quickened his pulse; more the fact that the pain drawn from him at her tentative touch, wasn’t all that unpleasant at all. Far from it indeed, and he glued his eyes on a section of the downed fighter to center himself and chase away whatever was casually being stirred by her attention.

 

“Sorry.” She whispered, clearing her throat to collect herself in turn.

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“So you keep saying.” She chuckled. “Hope you can say the same for the next part.”

 

Ren little more than grunted a response, still trying to gather himself and put his head back right.

 

Wrapping her hand in another strip of wet cloth, Elara pulled the shard of metal from the fire. It glowed red hot, waves of heat pouring off it as she brought it nearer to his shoulder.

 

“If you’re ready for it?” She questioned, herb expression wrought with concern and a little sympathy even at knowing full well the sort of pain the act would draw.

 

“Just do it.” He nodded, voice barely above a hoarse whisper as his eyes locked with hers.

 

With only a moment’s hesitation, Elara held her breath and pressed the metal to his skin, drawing only just but a sharp whimper from Ren’s lips as he clenched his fist and drove his knuckles to the ground. Sickly sweet stench of seared flesh flooded the air and smoke rising from the contact, he remained impressively stoic and steadfast where she had half expected a full expression of rage at the shock of pain that was undoubtedly overwhelming.

 

Elara pulled the shard from the flames, red hot waves of heat pouring off it to match the glow it emitted. With only a moment’s hesitation she held her breath and pressed the metal to his shoulder. Smoke rising from the contact and the stench of seared flesh rising through the air, she half expected an outburst at the shock of pain that was undoubtedly overwhelming. A full blown expression of rage or a chain of profanity let loose on her. But where she had anticipated a faltering in his composed exterior, there was none.

 

He was strength incarnate.

 

Either through sheer will or by the grace of the force, he barely so much as flinched. The only evidence of humanity and his ability to feel pain,the slight quiver of his lower lip and the dull cloud in his eyes as she pulled the shard from the newly mended wound.

 

“Impressive.” She tossed the shard aside and quickly slipped the cool cloth over the remaining scar to soothe the burn.

 

“Hardly.”

 

“If you say so...it’s not as good as a med droid would do...but it’s good enough, best I can do...You’ll live.” She surveyed her work, wound sealed up, cleaned up as best as possible; its edges bright red and pulled taught from the force of the heat. “It’ll scar...obviously...not that that’s something that bothers you.”

 

He scoffed. Each mark he wore like a badge of honor, but all the same he couldn’t help but feel a little exposed. It was his turn to blush under such focused attention, and his ghost white complexion burned bright red, blessedly concealed in the dim light.

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“Of course it hurts.”

 

“Stupid question.” She nodded, and dabbed carefully at the dried blood smeared at the edges a little more with her makeshift cloth. “Guess I didn’t think you’d actually admit it.”

 

“There’s no shame in admitting it. It fuels us.” Ren looked up at her, dark eyes peering through the fringe of dark locks splayed across his forehead. “We learn from it...it drives us...makes us stronger...gives us power.”

 

“I suppose you’re not wrong there.” Elara sighed and swallowed thickly.

 

Her fingers danced across the burned flesh delicately, inspecting her handiwork more closely, making sure that it wouldn’t rip back open as soon as he moved. Ren sucked the air between his teeth and bit back fresh pain. Every inch of the raw wound screamed out against her touch, feather light as it was, but he couldn’t bring himself to make her stop. No one had touched him that in years; not that way and not in any other manner there was to be had. He had all but forced himself to forget what it was like; the kindness and the care meant to be behind it and what it was supposed to be. He’d forgotten it all, and all in one fleeting graze of her fingertips everything memory of the pleasantry of it was sparked back into his consciousness and it needed desperately to be squashed back down.

 

“Sorry.” Elara pulled back from him slightly, noting his flinch and the sudden tension in his demeanor. “Again...sorry.”

 

“You apologize too much.”

 

“Force of habit.” She sighed and tossed the remaining cloth into the flames.

 

Ren grabbed her before she could retreat to her side of the fire. Hooking his fingers under her gruffly, and pulling her chin upwards to look him in the eye. Dead silence met him but not like before. The dynamic had changed and she knew it. She was calm, collected, her determination equal to his and he could sense little, if any fear or nerves in her at all. Dynamics had shifted, simply, swiftly with such a simple exchange. She was no longer afraid of him, not at all. The only thing he could sense in her was her need, her lingering description. She needed him, whatever the means, she needed him; just as much as he needed her.

 

“You really wish The Resistance to fall?” His voice gentle, less jarring in its inquisition than he ever had been.”

 

Elara nodded silently, confidently.

 

“Yes...more than anything.”

 

He held her in his grip a moment longer. Surveying her delicate features now accented with determination, the strength, the grit and the fire she had always had just lingering within her.

 

“You have my word. I’ll stand with you as long as it takes. I’ll grant you your safety and you’ll fly again...if that’s what your want.”

 

“I do.”

 

“Don’t test me again...and I’ll see it through.” He assured her. “I give you my word if you give me yours.”

 

His grip fell from her face, thumb trailing gently along her jawline as it did. Ren held his hand to her, leather bound palm extending to seal the deal. Once struck, there was no going back, no way out. Should she try and go back on her word, it would only lead to her ruin; and likely the extent from one she would never recover.

 

“You have my word.”

 

Her tiny hand slipped into his an she sealed her fate. A deal struck, bargain made and everything yet to come would live on in history.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter Eight: Revelations Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long one I'm afraid ... I seem to be incapable of writing ten pages these days, at least :P BUT....the plot begins to thicken and I really rather enjoyed writing this one so I hope it is well enjoyed in turn :)

 

 

 

Ren never dreamed.

 

Or at least when he did, he rarely remembered and of the times few and far between that he did, what he remembered was never pleasant. Nightmares really, ever troublesome terrors of everything was and had been of his life. Nightmares he had trained himself to forget come the break of day for the sake of what little sense of peace within himself he had left; what little sense of peace he had left within himself that was fading quickly all the same.

 

Ren never dreamed.

 

But there, after the events of the day and the conversation shared between them, sleeping beside her by the last light of the lingering fire; that night, was a night in which he did.

 

It was dark his dream, not in tone but in everything else. Reminiscent of the flashes he’d seen when last he scoured through Elara’s mind. It bore the same feel and the same sound, though it was more vivid for him now than when he had seen it within Elara’s mind. So vivid if he didn’t know any better he would have figured it real enough to reach out and touch the walls around him; if there were walls around him that is. There was no way of telling in the darkness, for all he knew he was encompassed by an ever growing cloud, thick, black as night and difficult to navigate his way through. Not that it mattered really, as the seconds passed and locked him in his dream it was evident this was something he had seen all before. Muffled conversations once again all around him, shadowed figures through the haze. Little bits at a time everything around him came clearer and clearer into focus, while not yet giving the entire picture away shrouding out parts to come for reasons unknown as if he were not yet worthy to see everything there was to be seen.

 

It was a whisper at first, the voice that called out to him and cut through the stillness of the dream.

 

“ _Ben Solo!”_

 

It was joyful and airy, playful and carefree. The voice of a child, the sound of which was so pure and filled with light. He supposed it was the way his own voice sounded at some point in his childhood, before he had been branded such a lost cause, before the pain and the fear; before the anger he had grown to know as the only thing worth holding on to.

 

“ _Ben Sooooooooloooooo!”_

 

It lilted again as if in song, echoing all around him unseen and seemingly just out of reach.

 

“ _Come play with me Ben! Come play with me...pleeeeeaaaasee?”_

 

He glanced about him slowly, curiously, eyes wide as saucers as he tried to pinpoint the location of the voice that was so familiar; the small voice that held with in it such a draw to be near.

 

“ _Where are you?”_ He called out, his own voice echoing through the dreamscape. _“I can’t...I can’t see you.”_

 

“ _Come play with me Ben...don’t you want to?”_

 

“ _I do...I do want to.”_ He called out to the voice again. _“Show me where you are.”_

 

A giggle pierced the air, even sweeter sounding than the voice itself and Ren smiled to himself slightly. A quiet warmth spread through him, comforting and quiet. Happiness, he figured, something he’d so long forgotten he’d never really been certain he’d ever be capable of it again; but he was, in a dream reality anyway.

 

“ _You have to find me first...you have to find me silly!”_

 

A chorus of harsh whispered conversations, echoed over the tiny voice. Distant sounds of battles, and far off screams suddenly shifted his attention and the joy had felt fell off into the background, as he moved forward through he dark; fighter engines screaming over overhead and more voices he couldn’t quite understand circling around him, drawing him towards a dim light in the distance. Barely a pin prick, a small beacon at end of a long tunnel of darkness. Another giggle cut through the symphony of noise all around him, quieter, further away from him but direct and true leading him straight to the light at the end of he road.

 

“ _You have to find me Ben!”_

 

Ren saw her then, or at least a flash of her, not far up head in front of him. Little more than a silhouette he saw a small girl in a soft pink dress dart off back into the darkness. A quick blur he some how knew he should follow. The flash of a girl in a soft pink dress who somehow he knew he was _meant_ to follow.

 

“ _Wait!”_ He called out to her, desperate for her to wait and give him time to catch up. _“Please…”_

 

He moved forward and the darkness around him fell heavier, closing in on him and shutting him off from the rest of the tunnel almost as if he had been whisked away to some place else all together as the entire tone of the dream shifted. What was warm and light somehow now felt lonely and heavy; angry and fearful even. He turned on his heel quickly, in search of a way back to the place he had been before. Only to be met with a sight even more unexpected.

 

His mother.

 

Ren swallowed thickly and choked back a surge of emotion that always threatened to take him over when he thought of her. It'd been too many years since he’d seen her to count, and now there she was, smack dab in a middle of a dream that already made little sense at all. He was there, right before him, so real he had to fight the urge to rush to her, and fall at her feet begging for absolution. He couldn’t see the full picture. Half of her frame was obscured, as though he were peering into a room through a cracked door. Spying on something he wasn’t supposed to see or hear, probably didn’t want to see or hear but he continued to peer on in spite of it

 

Leia was talking to someone, another woman sight unseen, someone who’s voice he didn’t recognize though he recognized the tone. Panicked, rattled, unbalanced and on edge, and his mother was doing her best, albeit in vain, to calm the her down.

 

“ _Ayalia, please listen to me.”_

 

“ _Why should I? Do you know what this means? How could this have happened...how could this have happened to her.”_

 

“ _This is a_ _ **good**_ _thing.”_

 

“ _It’s_ _ **not**_ _!”_

 

“ _Yes...it is, if you would only hear me out.”_ Leia took the woman’s hands in her own only to have them jerked away in sharp rebuttal.

 

“ _Well of course_ _ **you**_ _would think so!”_ The woman snapped, voice shaky and tired, filled with fear and hatred at the same time. _“How could I have been so stupid to let you lead me to believe this was anything other than a nightmare?”_

 

“ _Ayalia, please…”_ Leia sighed and took tight hold of the woman’s hands again, patient, compassionate in her efforts at the same time as she was downright begging. _“If you just give us some time...please give us time. Give_ _ **her**_ _time.”_

 

“ _Why? So she can be your pawn? So she can turn out like_ _ **him**_ _? Is that your game...is that what you’re playing at?”_

 

“ _No. That couldn’t be further from the case-”_

 

“ _Well forget it! Either way I’m done here…we’re done. I can’t stay here...I won’t let her stay here...she never needs to know.”_

 

“ _She’ll figure it out soon enough.”_ Leigh sighed and folded her arms over her chest. _“You think you can stop it from happening.”_

 

“ _I’ll die trying.”_ The woman spat. _“I won’t let her turn out like him...I won’t let her turn out like that_ _ **monster**_ _you call a son.”_

 

The sharpness of he word never dulled when wielded against him. Even in a dream, the word cut Ren to the bone. He should have been used to it by that point, but it never got any easier no matter what he did to numb the pain. His face fell and his heart sunk in his chest as the scene before him came to a close.

 

“ _She could do great things, Ayalia...if you let her.” Leia plead. “She could help us.”_

 

“ _Yeah? Well, I’d see her buried with her father first.”_

 

“ _Ayalia…”_

 

“ _Fuck you.”_

 

Ren dared to look on just a minute more, taking in the sight of his mother the best he could before it was all over. He missed her. In his most honest moments he knew that much to be true and this would be the closest he had come to her, the closest he would ever come to her again for a very long time.

 

“ _Mom?”_ He called out to her, and pushed his way through the haze that obscured his full view.

 

She didn’t so much as budge or blink or acknowledge his presence; not that he ever expected she would. But it was the closest thing to the real thing that he had, and in that moment, he didn’t care.

 

“ _Mom, please?”_ His voice fell hoarse and thick with emotion, the unfamiliar feeling of tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. _“Please look at me.”_

 

In a moment she was gone, swallowed by the shadows and he was once again alone in the dark, just in time to feel breeze at his back and a whisper in his ear.

 

“ _Come play with me Ben Solo...come play with me.”_

 

It was the same voice, older this time. Matured but still gentle, still warm and comforting, familiar and friendly. He spun again, wildly this time and right on the mark to catch sight of its owner. Her back was turned to him, clad in an elegantly delicate white dress, dark hair braided elaborately around white blossoms that adorned it.

 

“ _You have to find me.”_

 

She cast but a fleeting glance over her shoulder, beautiful soft features sparking instantly in his mind.

 

“ _Elara.”_

 

“ _Come find me Ben...come find me….please hurry.”_

 

He woke up with a start, cold sweat beaded on his brow, heart pounding in his chest and trembling as he damn near sat bolt upright from the ground on which he lay. He couldn’t however. Ren couldn’t sit bolt up right or pull himself upright from he ground in any respect. Elara’s weight was draped across him, her arm half snaked around his waist and her head resting lightly on his chest. Some time in the night when the fire burned down she must have shifted toward him for the warmth in her sleep. He couldn’t blame her really and it was his admittedly his own fault for not lending her his cloak to wrap about herself. She had no meat on her bones, and she was clad only in the standard issue leisure attire provided to her as a change of clothing; hardly made from the heaviest or most insulating material. All the same, a woman clinging to his side in the night was a far cry from anything he’d come to know in his life. Coupled with the dream, it had been an awkward wake up call to say the least, especially given the reality of his dream still ringing clear in his head.

 

“Wake up.” He bristled, his voice heavy and laden with sleep as he squirmed his way out from under her, reasserting himself a little more roughly. “ _Wake_ up.”

 

Elara stirred, snapping awake just as she had and quickly drew herself away from him when she took note of her positioning.

 

“Shit, I’m sorry.” She scrambled to her feet. “I don’t know why I would have-”

 

“What’d I tell you about apologizing.” Ren snapped, he turned from her. Taking a moment and a breath to settle the ten thousand thoughts that screamed through his mind at a million miles a minute. “It’s fine.”

 

“Okay...just, sorry, that’s all.” Elara smacked her palm to her forehead. By all outward appearances, he was clearly not the morning type; and pressing on raw, grouchy nerves, no matter reflexatory or not, would serve her only no good. “Shut up Elle, just...stop.”

 

He dared to take a look at her, regretting it as soon as he did. The sight of her did nothing to quell the storm within him, the thought of her standing before him beautiful and pleading for his aid; it shook him to the core.

 

“What?” Elara stifled a yawn and stretched cramped muscles, leaning against the side of the downed fighter for support.

 

It was a dream. Ren forced himself to the realization. Too much excitement and too much to process from the day lead to the confusing jumble of sights and sounds that invaded his subconscious. It didn’t even make sense in the slightest, and it was too confusing to waste time on.

 

It was a dream, and nothing more.

 

“Nothing.” He cleared his throat and turned his attention outward of the clearing, double checking that the activity at the outpost had died down enough for them to take leave of Nebrus. “How far until we’re out of range for retrieval?” He jarred Elara out of her fluster and set her back on track, forcing himself out of his own thoughts and flashes of the dream that lingered on.

 

“Not far...ten, fifteen minutes walk from here. Due south they be able to track a thing, see anything land. It’s way out of range.”

 

“Good, then we need to move out.”

 

“Yeah, sure thing...there’s a path I know, it’s out of the way but it’s the safest route, we shouldn’t be hassled.”

 

Ren nodded and made his way to the earth steps of the clearing. Halting when he realized she wasn’t immediately on his tail. He turned to catch sight of her, standing glued to the spot apprehensively tugging at the ripped sleeve of her shirt.

 

“When they come for us...when they bring us back…” Elara swallowed nervously, full well knowing that there would be some sort of repercussions for her upon return no matter what.

 

“Nothing to concern yourself with now.”

 

“I’m not so sure that’s true.”

 

Ren sighed and did his best to bury his impatience. The sooner they got back to the Finalizer the sooner he could get things back on track, and hand holding and reassurance wasn’t exactly his strong suit.

 

“Formality.”

 

“Okay…”

 

Softness graced his face fleetingly. She was nervous, and she had the right to be he supposed. It wouldn’t be looked kindly on, her great escape and the fact that two fighters now lay in wreckage. For all Elara knew, she was now some sort of war criminal now, or something like it. There was no telling what flew through her mind at the thought of returning to the ship.

 

“Nothing more than that...formality.”

 

Still she stood rooted to the spot.

 

“Do you want to stay?” Ren offered curtly, exasperation rising to the surface by her stubborn weariness. “You can...if it’s what you want...you didn’t survive the impact...just show me the path and I’ll leave you to-”

 

“No.” Elara huffed. “That’s not what I want…that’s not what...forget it.”

 

Ren caught her by the wrist as she made to breeze by him and lead him towards the path for a safe rendezvous. The very act put a halt to her thoughts. Instead of the expected harshness to his touch, the only thing she had known every time he had made contact with her thus far, this time his grasp was light, gentle, apologetic, kind even; or so it seemed. A reassuring moment, as the cold curtain of fortitude slipped a little. It wasn’t the first time she had seen a flash of a softer, less violent and aggressive side of Ren. There’d been several moments in the scant amount of time she’d been in his presence that she’d managed to gleam a hint of something quite different than what he made himself out to be. But _this_ moment, _this_ flash of something more human behind the man everyone regarded as a monster, was the first time he’d displayed a note of compassion towards her directly; the first time a touch had accompanied the sentiment and the first time she could see a inkling of his ability to register any emotion other than fury or hatred. The first time she saw a glimmer of sensitivity and sympathy in his deep brown eyes as he towered over her.

 

More importantly, the first time she could feel it. Deep within him, shrouded by everything else that swirled within him in a messy barrage of emotion, but it was there even if just a nuance; just a hint of sympathy.

 

“What is it you asked from me?” He reminded her.

 

His question only met with her silence and uncertainty of what he wished the answer to be.

 

“Trust.” Ren continued. “I gave it to you and it’s not a small offering.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Then have a little faith and give me yours...when I tell you that there’s nothing for you to concern yourself with it’s a promise...you have my word.”

 

Elara sighed again, willing herself to not blatantly roll her eyes while h was staring directly at her.

 

“That’s an easy thing to say. Everyone always says that.”

 

Ren moved closer towards her, pulling her in inadvertently as he stooped lower to her. The standard intensity that played out in everything he did burning so brightly it was hard to even attempt to focus.

 

“And I’m not everyone.”

 

***

 

Ren’s command shuttle was magnificent as it touched down among the scattered branches not far from the hollow. Pristine and commanding, an overwhelming black pillar of perfection, mirroring its usual commander in its presence and all Elara could manage to do was stare. It wasn’t the first time she had seen it, much like it had been far from the first time she had seen Ren himself, and yet the first time so up close and personal and it was every bit as awe inspiring as its commander. Far from an actual fighter, it was still any self appreciating pilot’s dream. A formidable machine to be reckoned with, and now, it was her breathtaking chariot set to whisk here away back to her old newfound home, and whatever it was that awaited her there.

 

Elara all but held her breath as the bay door opened slowly, lowering its shiny black platform to the ground at their feet. There was no turning back now, room enough for a wish and a prayer that everything would continue to go without another fault in the grand scheme of things, but no real room for maneuvering if it didn’t. But she had Ren’s word on her side, and that counted for something she assumed; or at the very least dared to believe it did.

 

Another terrifying prospect.

 

It had been so long since she had put stock the promise of anyone’s word at face value and little more. And every time she did, it bit her in the ass in the most fantastic way that still had scars wound around her psyche. Learning how to trust someone again, taking such a terrifying leap of faith was a bitter pill to choke down.

 

“Relax.”

 

Ren’s voice ripped her out of her pensive day dream.

 

“Rember what I told you.” His head dipped low beside hers, his cheek grazing hers and his lips skimming across her ear. “Above all else, remember what I told you.”

 

The first of The Order’s forces poured out of the shuttle, soulless figures clad in black just as she remembered followed by a voice that shot panic through her soul and made her blood run icy.

 

“Well, well, well Ren.” Hux sauntered out of the shuttle, heir of superiority ever present in his reprimand. “What a fine mess you’ve made after I sent you out to clean up after yourself.”

 

Elara’s head bowed and she backed away from Ren as the general stalked towards them, every bit the nightmare inducing sight she remembered. Once again she had somehow been thrown out of the frying pan and into the fire. Once again she had been somehow greeted by the last person in existed she had ever expected to see; the last person she had ever wanted to see. The only difference between being confronted with the sight of Ren himself, and confronted with the sight of Hux there before her and ready to set eyes on her was the secrets left he knew she had to bear; if he remembered that was. And with her luck a memory absentia was not on the order of the day nor was a grudge to bear left behind in days gone by. Hux was a far cry for a sympathetic soul an understanding intellectual with a penchant for hearing the facts for what they were.

 

Hux was a monster, a power hungry demon bent on getting what he wanted through any means necessary. And once crossed there was no telling of what the outcome would be. Elara didn’t want to find out. She had never crossed him, of course, not personally anyway. But every misdeed she had stumbled her way in to, every matter that may have drawn red flags, and the horrible mess of which she had made undoubtedly made way to his knowledge. Hux, and everything he probably knew of her, was something the likes of which Elara hadn’t event he slightest desire to tangle with.

 

It had been so very long since she had taken the promise of someone’s word at face value, it was a bitter pill to choke down. And now Elara was devoid of any choice but to do so.

 

“I might not have sent you, Ren.” Hux growled. “I suppose I can force myself to remember that. But what I don’t recall is any expectation of you to expend our resources on a foolish mission where there shouldn’t have been one in the first place...nor do I seem to recall expectation of you laying our fighters to waste.”

 

“Accidental.” Ren dismissed him.

 

“Mmm, a meaningless oversight on my part I’m sure. How foolish of me to think otherwise.”

 

“It’s none of your concern Hux.”

 

“Indeed.” Hux sneered. “And all for what?”

 

“Hux...”

 

“Ren…”

 

Hux mocked him and ducked around him to in order to get to her, laying his eyes on her at long last and seeing what all the fuss was about. This special little project of Ren’s, some simple stowaway that had manged to enrapture such a so called formidable commander. His sights locked on Elara, and all there was left for her do was to match his steely gaze, tilt her head high and hope for the best.

 

“Armitage Hux, high command general of The First Order.”

 

Elara cursed inwardly as a glint of recognition illuminated unfeeling blue eyes.

 

“And you are?”

 

“Your wasting your time.” Ren interjected abrasively, shifting his weight to place himself between the pair. “You’re wasting _my_ time.”

 

“My, my a little protective are we Ren? Don’t worry, I only mean to be polite...seeing as you’ve made to forgo the introduction of your little _pet_.”

 

Sickening sneer curled across Hux’s mouth as Elara squirmed under his observation. He got of on it, took pleasure in the fact that he had caught her had she full well knew it; the fact that the very act of him being before her struck fear in the core of her being. Hux got off on it, took pleasure in toying with her so covertly, so innocently no chance of suspicion could be sparked from anyone who bore witness. Hux got off on it, unrelenting in the confrontation and the power play he now held firmly in the palm of his hand.

 

“For once though...I suppose you’re right.” He huffed haughtily, not turning his snide attention away from Elara. “I imagine formalities can wait for the inquiry. Best get going before we draw even _more_ unwanted attention here.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

Elara turned her gaze over Hux’s shoulder and shot pleading glance at Ren, as steadfast in an silent reassurance as he could be without giving away any ties of alliance just yet.

 

“After you then...I am after all but a humble passenger on your fine shuttle commander.”

 

“ _Don’t_ …” Elara focused her energy as best as she could and once again forced her plea into the back of his mind, surprised at the ease at which she was able to manage it this time. “ _Don’t leave me to them…”_

 

His hand raised at his hip slightly, subtle gesture in attempt to still her nerves and put her at ease.

 

“Secure the prisoner.”

 

Elara’s eyes widened and her heart leaped into her throat as in an instant she was flanked by two of Hux’s men primed with shackles with which to bind her.

 

“ _What?”_

 

“ _Let them take you.”_ Ren returned the surreptitious interlude between them. As he ripped his attention away from her and turned a cold feigned cold shoulder as he marched with the rest of the forces back towards the command shuttle. “ _It has to be this way...don’t fight, let them take you...and remember what I told you.”_

 

Elara flinched and complied with his parting request begrudgingly, nervously as the heavy cuffs so familiarly clapped around her wrists this time with the added discomfort of chains secured solidly to a tight metal collar fastened solidly around her neck.

 

“ _Don’t be afraid...You have my word...I’ll find you.”_

 

She cringed again as Hux circled around her, once the men had bound her securely as commanded. It was his turn now to encroach on her, closer than she would ever have wanted for comfort, vindictively seething over he shoulder from behind her.

 

“Welcome home, Miss Skipburn” His voice dripping venom at her ear. “It’s so _very_ good to see you again.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter Nine: Revelations Part Two

 

 

 

 

“You’re a very brave girl to so willingly return after the stunt you’ve pulled. The _stunts_ you’ve pulled, rather.”

 

Hux smirked at Elara across the span of the small desk he sat at, rapping his fingers against his data pad smugly as she sat before him.

 

“You’re very brave indeed...either that or entirely stupid. Out of your mind, maybe.”

 

Two days she’d been locked up and confined again, before her so called inquiry. Awaiting her fate, shut off from the world and with nothing to reassure her or give her confidence in the outcome that awaited her. Two days she had been locked up and confined for no other purpose than to make her suffer, make her victim to her own mind and wallow. Forced to spend most of her time shackled for no real reason other than to remind herself that she was now apparently a true prisoner; by Hux’s accord.

 

He would find her.

 

That was the only thought she kept hold of.

 

Ren would find her. Ren would show and help her out of this pickle she’d, in part, worked herself into.

 

She trusted him, or at the very least she was trying to.

 

Trust.

 

The funny little concept she had so much hatred for and so little to give anyone was now the only thing that would get Elara through

 

She hoped.

 

“Shall we go down the list of your crimes against The First Order? Shall we refresh your memory?”

 

Elara sighed and cast her eyes to the ground. She was well aware of the laundry list, but there was no sense in protest, not yet anyways. One way or another she would hear it, and he would enjoy every last minute of informing her of just how much was hanging over her head.

 

“Most recently, trespassing, assault, hijacking, possession of stolen property, vandalism, obstruction of justice, resisting arrest, refusal to cooperate…”

 

She rolled her eyes and tilted her head skywards as best she could, endearing the barrage as best she could without lashing back and landing herself in an even tighter spot.

 

“Goes quite well with your past life wouldn’t you say? Insubordination, assault of a superior, conduct unbecoming, absence without leave, desertion and…treason.” He arched a ginger brow, smug sneer cracking across his face. “Of course…there’s the matter of the _others_...but I’m sure I don’t need to carry on. You remember your own misdeeds far better than any file can tell you I’m sure.”

 

Elara glared at him and turned her wrists in the cuffs. Each movement jerked the short chain attached to the collar and pulled sharply on her neck.

 

“Comfortable?”

 

“What do you think?”

 

“Quite cumbersome aren’t they? Quite restrictive, when applied correctly, I know.” He egged her on.

 

She huffed and set her will, resolved not to give a single inch to his satisfaction. Hux would take an inch and run a mile. His brand of intimidation quite a bit different than Ren himself. I was worse some how, more sadistic in an understated way that made it all too clear just how much pleasure he took in he suffering of others; in getting under their skin and dragging them down to the bare bones of their strength so that he could swiftly and surely keep them under his thumb. Whereas everyone in the galaxy regarded Ren as a threat of the highest order, she was quite sure they were mistaken.

 

Hux was the threat.

 

Hux was the monster.

 

Hux was the worst kind of evil there was. The sort that chose to be just for the sake of being so. The sort who would stop at no lengths to get what they wanted. The sort who would use their specific brand of evil just to do so.

 

He was dangerous and _he_ was the one to be feared.

 

“I suppose I could loosen them for you...relieve you of them entirely even if I saw fit.” He pushed his chair back from the desk and strolled non nonchalantly towards the window, gazing out at the inky expanse beyond the glass pane. “But…you understand my position...if only Ren had known in the first place hmm? We wouldn’t be in this mess.”

 

Elara scoffed and grit her teeth, struggling with everything she had to keep her mouth shut and endure his inquisition. All she wanted was for Ren to hurry up and walk through the door, put and end to the bullshit or at the very least bless her with an ally, someone to stand at her back and act as reinforcement if she was to verbally go toe to toe with the red headed demon.

 

“Nothing to say?” Hux turned to face her.

 

“Where is he?”

 

“Occupied.”

 

“Does he know?”

 

“Know what? That I’ve brought you? Or your record?”

 

Elara shrugged a response.

 

“Does it matter?” He moved back towards her, heels of his boots punctuating each foot fall sharply, deliberately as he came to a halt in front of her. “I think you’ve much more to be concerned about.”

 

“You don’t know a damn thing about anything.”

 

“I know I could add breach of oath tho the list.” He offered. “Conspiracy...aiding the enemy...spying...and how is Ty Sharrak these days? When last I saw him...if I remember correctly…”

 

Elara faltered, eyes flooding with tears that shame fully spilled down her cheeks.

 

Hux clucked his tongue against his teeth, and lowered down on his haunches, eye to eye with her so as to better impose himself on her.

 

“Come, come now. Don’t be that way. I didn’t _mean_ to hit a never.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“You thought you could buy you way back in…”

 

“What do you want?” She spat wishing so hopelessly that something, anything would bring an end to Hux’s inquisition.

 

“I’m proud of you Elara...you’ve outdone yourself.” A wicked grin spread across Hux’s face, looking nothing more than poison come to dinner. “Why settle for bedding your squad leader when you could set your sights on fucking a commander? Good for you.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

Hux’s face soured and he struck her hard. Backhanding once, straight across her the cheek he had already heavily bruised the first day she had found herself in his custody. Elara’s head reeled from the impact. The room spun wildly around her and momentarily her sight grew dark as she drew her tongue over her lower lip; feeling the warmth of blood and the sharp note of copper flood her mouth.

 

“Listen here you stupid little girl.” Hux fumed. “Ren might permit you to run your smart fucking mouth how ever you see fit you _will_ give me the respect I deserve...the respect I’ve _earned_!”

 

Elara flinched in her seat a little, emphasis on the general’s last shouted bouncing off the walls and echoing throughout the room. Hux was red faced and infuriated, mere inches away from her when she opened her eyes to stare him down. If it weren’t for the cuffs around her wrist that held her fast, she would have cut his throat right then and there and be done with his imposed reign of terror.

 

“ _What_ do you want?” Her voice cracked not so much out of fear but with just enough anger to match the ginger general’s.

 

Hux withdrew from her, standing ram rod straight and tugging on his collar, straightening his uniform to textbook perfection as he rallied and gathered himself back together.

 

“If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say our mutual _friend_ is rather taken with you.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

 

“I’m not.” Hux continued. “Take my word for it in one way another it’s true. It’s not surprising. He’s naive, desperate for a sympathetic touch. A scrap of attention, a little affection from a pretty little thing like you.”

 

“Sure.” Elara rolled her eyes and shook her head dismissively.

 

“Only a matter of time before he’s wrapped around your finger and you’re wrapped around his…” He paused, flashing her an arched brow and a lecherous leer. “Well…”

 

“You’re ridiculous.”

 

“Mark my word…you’ll see. All the same, I’m not about to give up the reins of command to a over privileged simpering brat in a costume who runs on nothing but emotion and personal vendetta...I don’t care if he’s been groomed to be another Vader not. Ren’s a fool and nothing more.”

 

“Maybe you’re just jealous.” Elara quipped, viciously sneering at Hux now.

 

“Be that as it may-”

 

“You want me to fuck him over so you can what? Usurp him...kill him even?”

 

“You might be his pet...but you’re _my_ pawn.”

 

Wave of disgust washed over her. Elara wasn’t about to be played this way, it went against everything she knew, everything she held true to herself. She may have been an opportunist at every turn, she may have been out for herself first and an ally to the highest bidder, but she was no traitor. Not now, and not ever. No matter what the consequence. Loyalty was something she had never really known from anyone. Loyalty was never a concept she really believed all that much in. But she had given Ren her word, and something in the way he spoke to inspired her to hold true and she would rather hold her word to him than accept some second rate deal from a snake like Hux.

 

“Why would I do _anything_ for you?” Her eyes narrowed.

 

“Do you think it wise to not?” Hux chortled. Then let’s see what else we can do to sway you.”

 

Smug face growing ever more so by the second as he slipped a blade free from the confines of a secret pocket up his sleeve smiled suggestively as he moved towards her.

In one swift move, Hux slipped the blade between her sleeve and her skin, pulling it upwards to tear the material free and expose the delicately pale flesh of her upper arm and Elara froze. There, clear as day two scarred bands wrapped around her bicep, stark red, and a painful reminder of that which she had told no one. Two scarred bands marring pale white skin; the brand of the pleasure house of which she was sold to so many years ago. A harsh reminder of a betrayal she would rather forget and one of the rawest of the open wounds that resided in on her heart.

 

“Do you want to go back?” Hux asked, sweet mocking tone lilting in his voice as he relished in the fact that he had just played the hand she would have never him to.

 

Elara’s eyes brimmed with fresh tears, her lips glued shut as she tried to organize her next move in her head; wishing she was anywhere but right there, right then at the mercy of revelations that Hux felt he had the right to wield over her and force her to bow to his will.

 

“I know _everything_ that happened after you left with Sharrak...I know _everything_ about what happened after he sold you off to the highest bidder...try me, and I won’t hesitate.”

 

“Go.Fuck.Yourself.”

 

Elara willed him to hit her again, desperate to feel the sting of his hand against her cheek and the fire that burned in its wake. She willed him to him to hit her again, harder this time, with everything he had; enough to bless her with the favor of unconsciousness. Anything to forgo the pain of the memories he was vile enough to stir from the dead and the threat that followed with them.

 

Hux lunged for her, grip solidly latching around her collar as he ripped her from the chair and half choked her as he hoisted her in the air to draw her far closer to him than comfort would allow.

 

“Treacherous little slut! Don’t you fucking _dare_ test me.” He growled. “You thought you could buy your way back in and start a new. Ren might indulge your defiance and partake in your insipid your games but I will not be played a fool and I will not have _my_ Order made a mockery of.”

 

“ _Your_ Order? Really Hux?”

 

Ren’s voice boomed as he sauntered into the room behind him.

 

“Do, tell me more.”

 

 


	11. Chapter Ten: Asylum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in updating life has been CRAZY busy with personal projects for me and personal engagements and such. I'm about to be in the busy season with work which generally lasts through until November but I'm aiming to update as much as possible, which is probably only once a week but still. Also trying to write shorter chapters and I think I'm doing somewhat okay :P Enjoy!

“Your order.” Ren growled. “Your transparency is so disappointing, Hux.”

 

With a flex of his fingers her forced the general off of Elara, roughly forcing him backward a few feet to stumble and awkwardly struggle to maintain his footing.

 

“That’s enough.”

 

“Good of you to join us, Ren. Our little guest was wondering when you’d show yourself.” He smirked at Elara, dropped to the floor and cowering as she caught her breath. “Hoping you’d show yourself even, if I may be so bold.”

 

“Hold your tongue.”

 

Ren stooped and hooked his fingers around Elara’s arm as he helped her pull herself upright. His grip lingered a little longer than it should have, instinctively, protectively even. The dark purple bruise that adorned the side of her cheek infuriated him, the split lip and the way he Hux had had her so tightly by the throat when he had come upon their little impromptu meeting; everything about what he had seen infuriated him. Personal vendetta aside, there would never be any further proof Ren needed to know what kind of a loathsome bottom feeder Hux was was right there before him. Attacking a defenseless woman , half his size, bound tightly to herself and unable to strike back, _prisoner_ or not, was so far beyond the realm of what was acceptable it was pathetic. Ren was many things in his own right, but even he found distaste in the act of Hux beating a defenseless woman to submission just for the chance to get an upper hand; even he found distaste in the level at which Hux had managed to lower himself to; scum beyond any measure known to man.

 

“What’s the meaning of this?” He spat, loosing Elara once he was satisfied she’d recovered enough to hold her own. “Why wasn’t I notified?”

 

“It’s nothing, I imagined you had bigger fish to fry...I wouldn’t want to disturb _you_ when there’s already so much on your plate.”

 

“Try me.”

 

“A casual encounter...you know the sort.” Hux sneered. “I was merely preparing our charge for what she’ll be submitted to when she’s called before the Supreme Leader to answer for her crimes...a causal encounter to give her a chance to confess her guilt now and offer what ever information she has to give us.”

 

“Unnecessary.”

 

“Really?” Hux arched a brow. “Do enlighten me.”

 

“I’ve already paid visit to The Supremacy.” Ren replied. “I’ve stood before Supreme Leader and discussed the matter.”

 

  
“You what?”

 

“I trust you understand, Hux.” He continued, self satisfaction dripping from his voice. “There’s no need for an inquiry. The matter is closed. Dealt with, there's nothing here for you now with which you need to occupy yourself.”

 

“You’ve gone behind my back?” Hux seethed, the bright red glow to his cheeks returned as the cold, harsh reality of humiliation set in.

 

“Only as much as you’ve gone behind mine.”

 

Elara stood silent as the grave; not having moved a muscle since Ren stepped into the room. Nervously flicking her eyes between the men as they butt heads, quite certain they were but a breath away from coming to blows; something she wouldn’t exactly complain about and something she would in fact rather enjoy Hux having his ass handed to him in one form of physicality or another, of which Ren clearly had the advantage.

 

“How _dare_ you.”

 

“Can’t take your own medicine, Hux?”

 

Ren flexed his fingers again, not for a second turning his gaze away from Hux, cool confidence illuminating his eyes as he maneuvered around the general's ploy. Elara’s shackles clicked open and dropped from around her neck and her wrists alike as she half gasped in relief and rubbed at the raw skin left behind; feeling as though she could take more than just a shallow breath for the first time since being taken into custody by Hux.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Hux demanded, anger fueled embarrassment quickly giving way to flat out rage.

 

Ren’s outstretched, gloved hand caught the cuffs just as swiftly as he they had fallen free from their captive and he smirked again, even more gratification evident across his features. He lobbed them forward for Hux to catch and keep for himself.

 

“I told you, Supreme Leader is now aware of the situation.” He replied collectedly, full well knowing it would dig under Hux’s skin all the more. “As such, it’s being handled accordingly.”

 

“You mean as you see accordingly.”

 

“Yes, Hux...as _I_ see accordingly...I expect it won't be a problem. ”

 

“You can’t-”

 

“I can, and I will.” Ren dismissed him flatly, moving freely through the room to punctuate the ease at which he had so quickly snatched Hux’s power away from him.

 

Hux chewed his lower lip anxiously biting back his emotions bitterly trying to keep himself from giving Ren the satisfaction of getting his goat; a personal mission doomed to fail never the less.

 

“Supreme Leader would never approve of this.”

 

“Ah, but he has. You could confirm if you'd like...if you'd like to waste his time. You know how he looks upon that.”

 

Hux’s eyes seared holes through the unlikely duo. Laser like precision in the stare he fixed first on Ren and then at length at Elara. If looks could kill she would have been dead on the floor. If he was any sort of man of worth to The First Order, she would have been dead on the floor long ago, if only Ren hadn’t stepped in; a realization and a though that turned his stomach when Hux heard himself even whisper it subconsciously to himself. He couldn’t bear the thought of finding himself even remotely intimidated by the young commander. It made him sick to his stomach and even angrier than he was already. Something had to be done to stop him; if not now, in short order. The details and the minutia of it were in question, certainly, but if nothing else Hux had to get his grip back on some form of control; for the sake of The First Order if not for the sake of his own pride.

 

“Do.we.have.a.problem?” Ren asked a little more forwardly.

 

“Send _her_ back to her cell.” Hux spat, contempt barely contained in his quivering voice. “This is no discussion appropriate in front of the audience of a prisoner.”

 

Elara stiffened as Hux took a step towards her and Ren’s eyes darted in her direction.

 

“She’s no longer a prisoner, Hux.” He jutted his chin upwards, looking down his nose at the general cockily. “If she were she’d be in chains and instead you have those in your hands. She’s an asset. You said so yourself, she’s a good pilot, and a damn good one at that-”

 

“She’s _my_ prisoner.”

 

“She’s chosen to confide in me many things that are of importance to us and she will be of great use to The Order...Supreme Leader agrees.”

 

“She’s a traitor.” Hux’s voice, much as his mentality, grew more fragile by the second as he squeezed the cuffs in his hand tighter and tighter to tried in vain to hold himself together.

 

“She’s my ward.” Ren drew his line in the sand. “There’s nothing more-”

 

“She’s a _traitor_!”

 

His voice echoed off the walls of the room as he snapped and flung the shackles violently across the room with every ounce of force he had. They flew through the air clumsily, catching Ren off guard just as much as they did Elara as they flew past her within as inch of her head; too fast for her to have been able to duck had the trajectory been more accurate. Heavy metal and chain that flew right past her head and smashed against the wall behind her, surely denting the durasteel quite solidly. Heavy metal and chain, that had Hux’s aim held true, would have struck her hard enough to injure her; and quite badly at that. Heavy metal and chain that could have struck her hard enough to wrench her head and snap her neck. Heavy metal and chain that could have struck her hard enough to crush her skull and put an end to her in the blink of an eye. Elara knew Hux would kill her just as soon as look at her, that had always been the assumption, but the physical reality of it right then and there did a damn good job at shaking her to her core.

 

She stood trembling in the silence that flooded the room and held each of them stunned, each waiting for the next to make a move. She glanced at Ren, wide eyed and questioningly, begging him wordlessly to put the discourse to an end before anything else happened.

 

“ _It’s all right…”_ He attempted to soothe her before facing the matter at hand. _“I'm here now...it's all right.”_

 

Elara jerked her head, diverting her gaze as her eyes burned and her sight grew blurry.”

 

“ _Look at me_.”

 

His voice played oddly in her head. Where it should have been a command, or at the very least a stern bidding to gain her attention and keep her strength solid, it was softer, quieter; a strange plea that took her by surprise.

 

“ _Look at me...please.”_

 

“ _No.”_

 

“ _Then trust me...if nothing else.”_

 

She nodded weakly, face still cast downward either on account of dignity or simply mere consideration, to let him see the tears that Hux had shamefully drawn from her.

 

“T.N.7.1.7.2…” Hux punctuated each syllable as he stepped towards Elara pointedly. “Is a traitor.”

 

Elara cringed and Ren bristled in his own right. She was afraid of him, and he picked up on it insanely. It was a different kind of fear than the kind of fear she had displayed before him under his interrogation. This was different kind of fear, less apprehension of what _might_ do and _could_ do if she didn’t fall in line and give him exactly what he wanted. She was afraid of Hux, not for what he could do, no for what he might do but for what he _would_ do and perhaps even what he _had_ done. Elara was more than just a little afraid of him, she was downright terrified of him and Ren wasn’t about to allow him to terrorize her any further.

 

“I won’t have her in my service, your little pet.” Hux continued towards her. “Did she ell you what she’s done, Ren? She's so much more than that.”

 

“Enough.”

 

“I won’t have her in our forces. I won’t have the likes of her under my command your treasonous little wench...did she tell you? TN-7172 is so much-”

 

Hux’s exaltation cut short and he choked against Ren’s force. Ripped off his feet again, more viciously this time, with more malice and ill intent, as he jerked backwards towards he commander coming to rest snugly in his grip.

 

“Elara.” Ren hissed. “Her name is Elara and she’s no longer your concern. If you can’t understand-”

 

“Is that a threat, Ren?” He managed to choke out pulling against the bond that held him in place as gloved fingers tightened against his throat.

 

“It’s a warning...a _last_ warning.”

 

“So you keep saying...and yet what have you done?” Hux grinned maliciously, straining to crane his neck around and meet his attacker eye to eye. “Nothing...you’re _pathetic._ ”

 

“No Hux, that’s you.”

 

Ren tossed him to the ground just as gruffly as he’d taken hold of him, relishing at the way Hux crumpled to he floor at his feet like the cur that he was.

 

“She’s not your whipping girl. She’s not your prisoner and she’s _not_ under your command.” He smirked crouched down beside him. “She’s under _mine_. If you see fit to forget it...so help you…”

 

Hux glared up a Ren, panting, jaw clenched in fury and malcontent as he commander stepped over him; toeing him roughly in the side for good measure and he was sure for payback on account of he physicality under which his darling charge had found herself subject to.

 

“Think she’s safe here, do you?”

 

“No.” Ren muttered quietly, pausing slightly to shoot Hux and icy stare. “I know she is.”

 

Elara, head still hung low in compliance, blinked fresh tears from her eyes as they threatened to break her and stream down her face in a traitorous deluge. Four simple words and the actions that spoke volumes louder than them meant more to her than any mere promise of trust could ever mean.

 

And so did the gentle hand at the small of her back as Ren joined her side.

 

“Come on.” He bid her, blank stare fixed dead ahead of him betraying the comfort and kindness to his touch. “Let’s go.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter Eleven: Acquiesce Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been quite a while. Sorry for anyone who's been waiting around for an update. I've had just no spare time these days. The good news is I wrote two whole chapters tonight and I'll be posting the second tomorrow night. I would right now but I really need to get to bed

Ren’s quarters were still and quiet, a comforting sort of sight for sore eyes away from everything she so wished from which to hide. From Hux, from the rest of the occupants of the ship, the stormtroopers posted on guard and meandering through the halls. Prying eyes staring through their helmets at the battered girl in a tattered shirt following meekly behind Kylo Ren; a sight ripe for speculation and gossip spread throughout the ranks. She wasn’t an idiot, they’d talk about her. They already had been, how could they have not after her grand escape and her even grander arrest. The last thing she needed, was anything and everything filtering through the troops, least of all her identity in full spread amongst them. She had friends on board still, of that she was certain. But on the more troubling flip side of the coin, she was just as certain she had enemies; and the spies planted throughout the forces of the First Order would be sure to jump at the chance to give word back to the Resistance that she was alive and well and back playing for the other team, or so to speak. 

“Sit.”

He commanded, flat and unreadable in his tone as she followed him into his sanctuary a few steps short of being at his side. 

She paused momentarily, curiosity flashing through her as she pondered for what possible purpose he would have brought her back with him. She complied without question, however. They trusted each other now, she and him. They trusted each other, and though it remained a small stumbling block for Elara to wrap her mind around, people who trusted one another didn’t snub hospitality and gestures of any kind. Or so she had always been told. People who trusted each other tossed lingering skepticism aside and set themselves at ease. It was expected of them, and as such she adhered to his request and gently took her place on a small black couch offset from a familiar glass table; obviously newly placed in the stead of the one Ren had shattered so easily the last time she had privy to be in his quarters. 

She watched him tentatively, as he briskly moved through the room, vanishing momentarily and returning with a small metallic packet he massaged firmly in his hands. Ren dropped and pulled a small stool towards himself to take a place opposite her. Elara flinched as he extended his hand towards her face, still a little gun shy after Hux’s rough treatment, and guarding her injuries intently. 

“Easy.” He sighed and lowered his arm slightly, holding the packet out for her to take instead. “For your cheek...to bring down the swelling at least. It’ll be cold. It should feel nice.”

The tables reversed again, as they seemed so pleased to do. He was her nursemaid now, as out of character as it seemed. 

Elara nodded silently and took the pack from his hand, hesitantly pressing it to her tender and still throbbing jaw. She hissed and jerked back from her own touch and Ren smirked softly. 

“I’ll correct myself...it should be very cold. Keep it on there if you can...it’ll work quickly.”

She nodded again. 

“Let me see.” Ren muttered, roving his eyes over her and he slowly reached towards her again to be able to assess the rest of the damage. 

She watched him as he scanned his way over her, making sure that there was nothing else that needed attending too left sight unseen. She watched him, like a hawk. His deep brown eyes laced with concern he would likely rather not speak of or be let known for fear of betraying his formidable exterior. She watched him, like a hawk as a rise of disgust tainted his features as he surveyed the marks that marred her face at the hands of her captor. She watched him like a hawk. She watched him a violent, explosive, unpredictable and supposed monster of a man reduce himself to bear the gentlest, quietest touch as he grazed his thumb across her lip and pull it down to inspect it for deeper wounds.She watched him reduce himself to bear the gentlest touch as he turned her head and slightly smoothed over the raw skin at her neck. It was one thing to have experienced the gentleness in his tone of voice and his demeanor towards her, even fleeting as it bad been in the forest hollow, but it the way his touch fell so unexpected and gentle against her was enough to flood her eyes with fresh tears and she sharply jerked out of his grasp to turn and hide her rush of emotion once more. 

“Flesh wounds nothing more...they’ll be fine in a day or two.”

“Okay.”

“You’re quiet…” Ren concluded his examination and shifted upright on his perch. 

She shrugged silently, 

“You don’t need to worry about Hux.” He shot her an understanding look. “He’s all bark and no bite.”

“Yeah.” Elara scoffed. “Okay.”

“He is...trust me.”

“I do.” 

“Are you sure?”

Elara swallowed, her pricks of emotion gnawing at the back of her throat. She kicked herself inwardly for being such a pathetic sap. A wimpy, weepy, soppy, sobby puppy dog that got choked up over a stupid word; a stupid concept that she’d been so hung up on forever. It’d been a hard couple of days but nevertheless she couldn’t stand the way with little more than a few words Ren could seemingly break down her tough facade and strike the chord right where it needed to be played to reduce her to such a state. 

“You showed up didn’t you?” She muttered softly. “You stopped him...you came and got me out of there didn’t you?”

“Late.” Ren gruffed at his own misstep in his ill foresight. 

“Late’s better than never…most of the time it’s never.”

Elara sighed and flipped her arm upwards to drag her fingers through her hair, flicking the shredded remains of what once was her sleeve and Ren hazarded a glance at the two red scars across her upper arm. Flooded with self consciousness, sighed tugged at the material and struggled to hold if over the seared flesh as if hiding what had already been seen would matter in the slightest. 

She hadn’t wanted him to see. She’d never wanted anyone to see. 

Judgmental eyes feasting on the well known brand of a whore house that labled her as something she had been as if it were a choice she had made on her own; as if she had had any real choice in the matter to begin with. An ugly reminder of painful memories, a scar on her psyche and a stigma against her in the mind of anyone who laid eyes upon the marks. All of it she wished she could erase of course, but so long as the brand was on her fles she would remember. So long as the brand was on her flesh everyone would know. 

Ren’s eyes quickly darted from the scars on noting her discomfort and her grabbed at an errant article of clothing draped over a small table at his side. 

“Here.” He extended it to her in the means of comfort, small smirk and a quip passing his lips to to try and make light of the blunder and ease her guard. “It’s warmer than that one anyway.”

“Thanks.”

He nodded and flipped his gaze over his shoulder to allow her her dignity as she peeled her tattered garment away and slipped into the heavy black sweater. Ren was right, it was warmer. A rich soft layer of material that instantly wrapped her in a strange form of comfort it was enough to knock her off her feet. A rich, soft layer of material that smelled so good and so thickly of him it was all Elara could do to keep herself from taking a deep breath and losing herself. 

But in a second, the reality of all of her situations came running back and she had no idea how to get her mind around it. Everytime, or so it seemed, she had made the slightest headway down the path to securing herself some sort of position that wouldn’t end with her out on her ass, a boulder was dropped down smack dab in the middle of the road. And at the rate things were going, the next one was likely to be immovable no matter who was on her side. 

“Ohhhh, I should have never have come here.” She bemoaned herself, not fully intending to speak her thoughts out loud; not that it would have made a difference in current company anyhow. 

“Why do you say that?” Ren asked wyly. 

“Because it’s the truth.”

“Then why did you come?” 

“I already told you why.” Elara grumbled. 

“Stop assuming I want the obvious answer to everything I ask. That’s not it.” Ren fired back. “Why did you come here? Why did you come back? You didn’t have to. You didn’t have to stay. You could have given me all your wisdom….you could have given anyone else your wisdom and walked away without a second thought...but you didn’t.”

“Doesn’t really seem like I had much choice in the matter.”

“No?”

“Prisoner and all.”

“Obvious.”

“Whatever.”

She was frustrated, he could tell. Maybe a little at him, for a new form of interrogation, maybe at the situation, maybe even at herself. But more than that she was clutching at straws trying to protect something, yet again; even though she knew full well he would ferret out whether she liked it or not. 

His eyes flashed, daring her to say a single word as he waved his hand and the doors to his quarters breezed open without so much as a sound. 

“Walk away.” He offered flatly. “No one would stop you. No one will go against my word if I say you’re free to go and return to wherever it is you’d like You’ve already had the chance twice. You had a good enough lead in that fighter you could have made good on it-”

“With you on my tail?”

“Don’t act like that wasn’t a game.” Ren sighed. “That’s not the point. You had the chance then...you had the chance again on Nebrus. I offered, you declined.”

“Yeah well…” Elara scoffed. 

“You did.” He continued. “You said it’s not what you wanted...that ‘it’s not what…’”

She perked up at the recount of the conversation in the clearing and shook her head slowly. 

“So, you tell me…‘It’s not what…’ what?” 

He leaned in and caught her in her thoughts, in her defiance, and put her back against the figurative wall; even though whatever stonewall she was trying to throw him was a shadow of what she was capable of and was crumbling by the second. 

“Why did you come here?”

“It’s not what…is supposed to happen…”

“Oh?” Ren arched a brow. “And you know everything that’s supposed to happen?”

“No…but it’s just not what’s supposed to happen...it’s not what I’m supposed to do…it’s not what…”

“Not what?

Elara sighed and rolled her eyes, knowing just how idiotic she was about to sound. 

“It’s...not...what...she keeps telling me...what the dream keeps telling me…” 

She hung her head low and rested forward on her knees in embarrassment, feeling altogether something like a fool and at the same time entirely missing Ren’s reaction to the words that had just spilled out of her mouth. 

“Dream?” He half choked. 

Dead still seriousness washing over his expression as everything froze and for a change it was his turn to be thrown off his game. He eyed her intently, readying himself for any nonchalant statement she would put forth in order to dismiss whatever it had experienced; all the while his heart thrumming in his ears as he waited for confirmation of what he already knew to be true. 

That their meeting was no chance circumstance. 

That there was nothing about her all but placed in his lap being mere coincidence.

He waited, baited breath for her to confirm what he already knew to be true, even if he didn’t want it to be. Even if he was still desperate to chase his own dream away as just that; a feat which would have been most easy to do had he not been haunted by it, or some incarnation of it, every time he managed to sleep since returning from Nebrus. A feat which would have been all too easy to do could he not sense the ever mysterious bond between them coming ever clearer and pulling ever stronger, even if Elara herself could not yet. 

“What dream?”

Elara’s head snapped up and she looked at him in disbelief. “Just a weird dream...I don’t know.”

“About?” Ren pressed her, forcing indifference in his tone. 

“Weird stuff.” She spat. “Why does it matter?”

“Who said it did?

“Why do you have to speak in riddles?” Elara groaned and plunged her face into her hands in frustration. “You said so...just now.”

“I didn’t.”

“You implied.”

“Then humor me.”

“For fuck’s sake...fine...my mother alright?! It was a weird dream with weird shit and my piece of shit mother in it at least I think anyways alright?! Okay?! Happy?!”

“No.”

Elara chuckled in frustration and took a moment in silence to collect her thoughts and her words respectively before she continued on. Not that it was anything at all she so desired to talk about at that precise moment in time, if ever at all. It had been a long, hard, terrible two days and all she wanted to do was collapse in a heap somewhere and sleep for the rest of the week instead of talking about what was tantamount to a nightmare at that point as far as she was concerned; but she new Ren didn’t really have an inkling of concern for what she wanted to talk about or not. Just like that he had flipped the switch from being compassionate, being a decent human being concerned for what she had just been through to being commandeering and manipulative; self service rising once again as his only motivation. 

“It was a dream about my mother...I think it was her voice. If you must know.” She relented and began to explain, albeit more than just a little frustratedly. “Random words, random thoughts for most of it, I don’t know. All I know is my mother...or whoever she or it was, kept telling me to find away back here. That the only light I would find was ‘drowning in the dark’ that I would find exactly what I needed but it was the only way...and I don’t know what else.”

“Try.”

“It’s not like I’m not. I’ve tried to make sense of it for a long time...all I know is it was a dream, a weird one but it felt-”

“Different.” He finished her sentence for her, a sudden spark of appreciation passing between the pair of them. 

“Yes...like it was telling me something or trying to convince me of something...like it was…like it was…”

“Important?”

“Ha, ha.” She scoffed. “Very funny.”

“You’ve had it before?”

“Yes.”

“Have you had it since?”

“Yes...or...no.” She groaned and drew her hands over her face. “Maybe...I don’t-I don’t know...I-I don’t...I can’t remember. Maybe...I think...I’m not sure...and I don’t even think I’ve slept enough here to have been able to dream...except that night.”

“You slept here.” 

She nodded. “Sorry. I really don’t know.”

“It’s alright…don’t worry...it’s nothing.” Ren tried to assure her as much as he did himself. “It’s just a dream.” 

He sighed and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, trying to gather himself in his own right and wrap his head around the parallels and piece together just what exactly was at work with the situation that once was mere curiosity to him and had now grown into something, it seemed, much more serious.

“I’m sorry...I’m just so tired.” She flopped backwards against the couch and threw her head skyward in emphasis. “I just want to rest.”

“Then so you should.” He agreed curtly, pulling himself to his feet briskly and making for the door. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Elara’s stomach knotted at the thought of being left alone and she staged an impromptu protest, timid as a door mouse. 

“Wait...but…” She followed suit and pushed herself awkwardly, and a little sorely, upright along with him.

“I have matters to attend to, things to arrange.” He held his hands outward in a bit to keep her from loosing her calm. 

“Things to arrange?”

Plans to be made with what you’ve given me...and if you’re staying…”

Elara softened, suddenly a little bit ashamed at the way she had bemoaned her current situation and had shown very little in the way of gratitude and little else other than frustration. It may have been a shitstorm in her mind, accurate or not, but it was the only place she had to go for the time being and she really hadn’t given any inclination at all that she was thankful for being allowed to stay instead of just discarded to god knows where in the galaxy without a second thought. 

“Of course I’m staying.”

“Good.” Ren nodded. “Then I need to arrange a room, I can’t imagine you’d want to stay here forever.”

“I suppose you have a point.” She smirked, even though the idea wasn’t entirely terrible in her mind. 

“Make yourself comfortable this time...I’ll be back before long. Get some rest.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re safe here.”

Ren mirrored her, and softened in his own right. 

“I know.”

“Good.”


	13. Chapter Twelve: Acquiesce Part Two

 

Making herself comfortable within Ren’s chambers was not a stretch in Elara’s abilities to do in the slightest, and doing so made her quite regretful she had been too rattled to do the same upon her first stay alone.

 

It only took but a few minutes more stationary on the couch after he had left before she let herself meander around the spacious living space. She wandered through its walls in entirety, quipping to herself about the predictable monochromatic scheme that flowed throughout and took a moment to gaze out enormous plate glass windows; admiring the majestic view beyond them even if it were only a vast expanse of inky night sky she had already seen more times than she could count, marveling at how relaxing the stillness was despite the turmoil that enrobed everything and everyone else in its midst.

 

Humble, Ren’s living quarters were. At least more so than she had expected them to be given the sort of persona he exuded. Not exactly minimalist but far from being overwhelmed with an over abundant array of personal possessions. Token thing scattered here and there in well kept corners of the rooms. Undoubtedly every last one of them held a purpose or personal meaning, a reason for being kept; some of which she wasn’t quite sure she wanted to know the reason behind. Humble, Ren’s living quarters were, but all the same they were outfitted with a few simple luxuries which Elara had not been accustomed to in quite some time. The fresher, specifically, the only one of said luxuries she made a noted point to take advantage of without fail. Being deprived of even the most basic of needs, or having basic needs made most unpleasant such as in the way of the handful of ice cold showers she’d been permitted while in custody, had a way of making even a few minutes of hot water most greatly appreciated; let alone the long steam Elara allowed herself to indulge in before she finally set down to bed in.

 

Making herself comfortable within Ren’s chambers was not at all a stretch in her abilities to do. But relaxation and the rest she had been so in need of was something of a different story.

 

For hours, or so it felt like, Elara tried so desperately to sleep. Curled soundly on the little black couch, comfortable as could be with only her mind to run rampage and pose obstacle to a solid night’s rest. She thought of what had been. She thought of what was to come. She thought and wonder of how exactly Ren planned on keeping Hux at bay, and what would happen if he failed in his endeavor to do so. She thought of everything and anything a person possibly could think in an excruciatingly frustrating manner that would keep anyone awake and staring blankly at the ceiling; a cruel irony when she had such a quiet, comfortable escape of a room to herself. Elara didn’t manage to capture a single scrap of sleep in the time that Ren had left her on her own.

 

She was wide awake when he returned. Feigning differently on account of the fact that she hadn’t the head for any more conversation.

 

She was wide awake when he traipsed through the room, and so courteously pulled a spare blanket over her huddled frame.

 

She was wide awake as he sat in the chair before her, silently, contemplatively gazing at her for what seemed like forever and for what seemed like no reason.

 

She wide awake when he finally relented and sought out his own comfort and rest within his bedchambers.

 

She was wide awake for what seemed like an infinite amount of time in his absence. And then, as if magic, as if a light switch was flipped, upon his arrival she managed to drift off like it was no chore at all. However short-lived her blissful and deep her slumber in actuality happened to be.

 

Ren himself had only just lapsed into sleeps warm embrace when he first her cry out in the dark. A mutter at first, no louder than the gentle babble of a brook. Just a quiet cause for alarm, and the first inkling of a disturbance tearing its way through her mind. He wasn’t altogether certain at first if he should venture out and see to her. Bad dreams, after all were just bad dreams, and for the most part just about everyone above the age of childhood either managed to fight their way out of them or muscle through and see the other end none the worse for it. But with every passing utterance, every increase in volume, it became more and more clear that whatever plagued her was no mere bad dream, but something far worse.

 

Bad dreams were one thing, but Ren knew all too well what it was like to be trapped within the confines of a nightmare. And try as he might not to, he couldn’t resist the need to do what he could to ease her through it at the very least, or wake her up and give her a chance to reset herself and calm her nerves.

 

By the time he made it out to her, she was wrapped around herself and clutching at the material of the sweater still smothering her tiny frame. Curled into the back of the couch with knees tucked to her chest she lay there, trembling like a leaf and entirely terrified of whatever was taking place in her dreamscape.

 

“No...no, no, no you can’t.” She muttered pitifully, thrashing as best she could in her position against the cushions. “No...please….somebody?”

 

“Elara…” He rasped in a gentle whisper, trying to get her attention without being so jarring so as to frighten her more. “Hey...it’s alright.”

 

“No. No, stop...get away from me.”

 

“Shhh, you’re dreaming...wake up.”

 

“No...no.”

 

“Come on...wake up.” He shook her by the arm softly.

 

“Get away from me! You’re hurting me...stop...stop please!”

 

Elara desperately slapped at his hand, trying to shake him off of her, flailing and almost throwing herself off the couch and to the floor.

 

“Elara…”

 

“Get away from me!!”

 

In an instant she finally came to, jolting upright, ripped out of her sleep. She jerked towards Ren, launching herself into his arms, dazed and struggling to catch her breath, still frantic from the dream. He pulled away from her, more sharply than he intended to, equally as shocked as she was. Sharing a stunned silence, she whipped her head over her shoulder and back again, re-familiarizing herself with her surroundings and trying to affirm that she had only been locked in a dream reality and not something much more terrible.

 

“It’s alright.”

 

Ren assured her, cautiously trying to comfort her as she regained her bearings. He knew how badly shaken it was to be by such a simple thing as a dream; he knew how reactive one could be when confused and shaking free from the haze of a nightmare and he knew it all too well.

 

“It’s alright.” He repeated. “It was just a dream…you’re alright now.”

 

Elara nodded silently, anxiously running trembling fingers through her hair.

 

“Hey…” Ren cocked his head and dipped to catch her sinking eye line.

 

“I killed him.” She mumbled shakily. “I killed him...Ty Sharrak...I killed him...I-I-I had to.”

 

Ren said nothing, both on account of there wasn’t much to be said in the slightest to such an admission and because he hadn’t yet expected her to be so forthcoming with anything to do with any other aspects of history without his gentle prodding.

 

“I had to.”

 

Elara looked up at him banefully, emotion swelling in her eyes and chin quivering; silent again for but a split second before she faltered and collapsed in to loud choking sobs that ripped their way through her like a hurricane, one after another with no end in sight.

 

Ren said nothing and let her have her moment. There was no other way.

 

“He-he-he told me...he told me we were g-going on a rebel hunt...I was too st-st-stupid I always believed everything he-he-he said. I-I-I didn’t know any better...he-he told me...he told me and he left me there... _sold_ me to that-that-that place. That-that _place_ where-where I had to-to-to…”

 

“Stop, it’s alright.”

 

She choked and whipped herself into more and more anxiety fueled frenzy with every passing second. Tears streaming down her cheeks and fighting a losing battle for a solid deep breath.

 

“He-he-he-he sold me off to-to-to pay off his gambling debt to some asshole on Canto Bight....he sold me off like I was n-n-nothing...like I was a slave. Like I meant nothing to him...l-l-like it meant nothing at-at all.” She sniffled and forced back another sob. “I was there for months...months...and-and-and months and months. And I knew I-I’d never get out of there.”

 

An eerie calm washed over Elara and she gathered her wits momentarily, venom in her voice when she spoke again.

 

“And then he came back...with his _friend_...for good measure to sweeten some deal. To use me like some cash cow piece of trash.”

 

“Elara…”

 

Ren attempted to quiet her, having heard enough of the ultimate betrayal and vile result; not wanting her to have to relive anything that had troubled her so greatly if she didn’t need to, but she paid no heed.

 

“So-so I killed him. I cut his throat...there was so much blood...I cut his throat and killed him. And I ran as far away as my feet would carry me...I don’t know how I got away...they should have caught me by now...”

 

Elara started to lose her grip on her calm and her words came frantically once more.

 

“Elara.” Ren tried to distract her once more, failing in his efforts.

 

“Elara’s not even my real name.”

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

“I ch-changed it after my mother...I never changed it again...I-I-I should change it they-they can probably still find me right?”

 

“No...they won’t. I promise.”

 

“E-Elara’s not even my real name.” She looked up at him banefully, beautiful green eyes bloodshot and filled with water. “I killed him...I killed both of them...I’m sorry.”

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He grit his teeth, his features contorting with disgust, his heart filling with the same anger that must have filled her and overridden her subservience and her fear. “ _Nothing_.”

 

“Hux knows.” Elara crumbled back to tears and panic again.

 

“Hux knows shit all.”

 

“No-no-no-no….he told me. He knows, I-I-I-I don’t know how…but he knows.”

 

“Elara, it doesn’t matter.”

 

“You don’t understand.”

 

“I _do_.” Ren raised his voice slightly and spat his words.

 

Half of him wanted to shake her, or slap her back into composure the same way he would have anyone else. To intimidate her into pulling herself together, implied threat of greater action should she not comply. But the other half, the half he couldn’t comprehend, the other half which he seemingly had zero control over even when trying his utmost, wanted to do anything and everything but that.

 

“Now…” He spoke slowly and steadily, lowering his town again to try and guide her. “Calm down.”

 

“I c-c-c-can’t.”

 

“You can, and you will. Elara...calm down.”

 

“He’s gonna kill me.” She wailed pathetically. “He-he-he-he wants me to get rid of you first, get you out of the way...and-and-and I told him no.”

 

Ren sneered. Hux was transparent on his best day. It was no surprise to hear a whisper of a plot to overthrow him and take all glory for himself, have free rein over The Order. It had been what Hux had always wanted anyways. A play at power that had been coming from the beginning, since Ren first caught inkling that it was all too likely Hux was afraid of him, even if only just a little. He was afraid of the power given to him by birth. He didn’t understand it and never liked it, never accepted the way anyone could so easily wield the force. Hux was afraid of him, and anyone who wasn't manufactured into strict and mindless compliance. And the gut reaction to anything that was feared, whether it stood in one’s desired path or not, was to remove it at any and all cost.

 

“He’s going to kill me.” Elara’s voice fell hoarse and thick with worry. Thick with regret and thick with a million other emotions that plagued her mind. “He’s gonna kill me...or-or-or send me back there...send me back _there_ a-a-a-and I don’t know what to do.”

 

In an instant it clicked in Ren’s head. That’s what was fueling her terror towards Hux. No single reprimand no matter how bad, no single physical threat played havoc on her in such a way. There was nothing he could do to her on board The Finalizer that drove such fear into her heart. What he held over her head, was in fact, much worse.

 

“I can’t go back there..I-I-I can’t...I just can’t go back there I just can’t. Please...don’t let him….please... _please._ ”

 

Elara cracked for a final time, spiraling faster and faster down the slippery slope she had sent herself down already. Mournful, heavy sobs escaping her lips one after another as her head hung low and she could no longer make an attempt at forming words let alone sentences. Mournful, heavy sobs that should have been a great unburdening to her and yet somehow seemed to fail to be just such.

 

Half of Ren wanted to slap her.

 

But the other half, the half that won out against his annoyance at such display, did the only other thing in the world that he thought, or that he _knew_ rather, might work. He chewed his lip and with a heavy sigh he dropped down beside her, and for the second time he wound his arms around her and lifted her to taxi her to his bed. Softly, he set her down on the mattress and skirted her to the side before dropping down and taking his place beside her. Back at the headboard and long legs stretched out before him he turned towards her.

 

“Come here.”

 

She snuffled, dragging her sleeve across her eyes before shooting him a look most confused.

 

“Come here.” He whispered as his fingers wrapped delicately around her arm.

 

He tugged her into himself nestling her snugly against his chest just as his mother used to do to assuage his own nightmares when he was but a small boy; before she regarded him as nothing more than a hopeless, soulless monster. It had always worked to calm him and stem his flow of tears and harsh, frightened sobs when he was young; without fail at that. Kindness wasn’t something he knew well, empathy was for the most part lost on him, and it had been years since he had felt the touch and warmth of another aside from Elara. He wasn’t sure if the act was right, but it was worth a shot. Though most soft memories of his childhood had abandoned him long ago, the one true thing Ren knew was that the one most comforting thing anyone could ever experience in such a state was to be held, and held tightly, until the proverbial storm had passed.

 

So was exactly what he did.

 

One strong arm wrapped around her shoulders, the other around her waist and his legs crossed over hers, he cradled her, holding her to her place. Her own arms snaked around his bare torso, fingertips pressing firmly into his back and her head resting against his chest as she listened to the slow, steady rhythm of his heart; his breath an innate sort of lullaby that flooded her with warmth and soothed her inexplicably rapidly. He rested his chin against the side of her head, relinquishing his grip around her only to smooth his hand through her hair softly and stifle the last sobs that tore at her soul.

 

He said nothing. Because there was nothing there was he could say. Because there was nothing for him to say.

 

He let her have her moment, however long it was to take, and only when her sobs had slowed and her breath began to resemble something close to normal did he speak.

 

“Hux won’t send you away.” Ren promised her. “He won’t hurt you...do you understand?”

 

Elara nodded weakly and murmured something of a reply, muffled against him as she let her eyes fall shut lightly and sighed; her breath hot and steady against his flesh.

 

 

She sighed again and let herself relax into him a little more.

 

“And if he does...I’ll kill him.”

 

Ren held her still, true and tight until Elara’s breath fell slow and deep; until she slept soundly wrapped in his grip. He held her there against his chest until there were no further signs of a troubled mind, and even then some. For hours he stayed fixed with her, fingertips wandering across her form every so often in gentle strokes, fell he assumed. He had no explanation otherwise, for a random touch or anything else about the situation otherwise. He held her tight to his chest for hours, head turned skyward as he searched himself for answers to how exactly she could bring him so easily to the point of breaking his cold steel willed form. He searched himself for answers again and again. Seeking the cause of such conflict that welled within. And conflict was exactly what it was. He wanted no part of such softness, or so he thought. It was weak and everything that could and likely would lead to downfall. But at the same time, there was no greater feeling than having her in his arms.

 

He held her there, tightly against him, for hours and hours. Until he no longer could, and he felt the draw to once again quell his own mind and take his thoughts elsewhere, bereft of her presence. Softly, he shifted her to her side, careful not to wake her as he gently rolled her off of him and towards the untouched side of the bed. Sitting upright on the edge, he sighed and curled into his knees, elbows resting on his thighs and palms pressing into his eyes as he tried to quell his own thoughts. Just as he shifted to stand, Ren froze to the spot.

 

An outstretched arm at his back, tiny fingers wrapped into the fabric of his pants, Elara latched on to him in her sleep.

 

“Stay.” She mumbled through her haze of unconsciousness, somehow full well aware he was about to take his leave. “Stay…”

 

Ren cursed inwardly and sighed again, motionless on the bed as he contemplated shrugging her off only to find himself entirely unable to do so. Such conflict she inspired within him. He wanted none of it. Nothing of this strange close bond that seemed to grow stronger and stronger between them every time they graced each other's presence. Nothing of the softness that it brought with it. Nothing of it at all.

 

He wanted none of it

 

But at the time, it was the only thing he had wanted in his entire life and the only thing he been so deprived of; until then.

 

A soft growl escaped his throat as he shifted again, foregoing his own needs for the sake of her. He eased himself beneath the blankets, pulling them over her tiny frame at the same time as he scooted across the mattress towards her. Hesitantly, almost nervously he curled himself at her slide and once again, slipped an arm around her waist to feel her warmth against him.

 

He sighed against the back of her neck. A weighty breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding, for who knows how long. He let himself fall heavy against her now as his eyelids now too began to droop and sleep slowly wrapped it’s grip around him.

 

For the first time in as long as he could remember, Ren relaxed.

 

For the first time in as long as he could remember, he was calm.

 

 


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short (for me) filler chapter. I don't know when I'll next have a chance to write. It's shaping up to be a really busy couple of weeks for me with my business projects and then work in addition. But I hope to be able to update regularly and should hopefully have another up mid week or late week I hope. I know it's been a liiiiiitttle slow, but I have so much I want to write that picks up the pace a bit and I'm chomping at the bit to do so. 
> 
> Side note just a little pathetic plea for comments / critique...pleeeeeaaaase?? Part of why I liked writing fanfiction to begin with was interacting with my readers and i get so little of that these days. I don't know if it's cause the story flat out sucks or no one knows what to say :P

“Supreme Leader.”

 

Hux’s voice echoed off the walls of the chamber the Supreme Leader Snoke regularly projected his image to for impromptu meetings aboard The Finalizer. A bare-bones hall in the middle of which stood a great platform, ever primed and ready for an oversized iridescent specter to take its place and tower over his subjects; symbolic of his continued seating in the galaxy and his prospective rule over everything he sought to crush under his will. It was a risk to disturb the Supreme Leader with trivial matters, but a calculated risk, and in his own mind it was one worth taking. The means needed to meet the end, and if his end could be met, he would not find himself timid in seeking them out.

 

“Allow me to apologize for requesting the privilege of your presence at this most inconvenient time but-”

 

“Yes, Hux a time most inconvenient indeed.” Snoke snarled ill tempered, glaring down at the general rather displeased. “What matters could be so pertinent they could not hold until a more fitting opportunity?”

 

“Sir, I apologize again.” Hux bowed his head in subservience to his overlord.

 

“Get on with it...speak your mind and do not trouble me with words of insincere atonement. ”

 

He swallowed and lifted his gaze to Snoke, second-guessing his judgment in requesting an audience but never the less carrying on; there was no turning back now. Anything less than a complete explanation of what was so troubling would not be met with any favor by the Supreme Leader and would undoubtedly undermine his standing.

 

“Supreme Leader, it’s come to my attention that Ren has made light to you of the situation regarding our former pilot Elara Skipburn.”

 

“It has.” Snoke confirmed. “What of it?”

 

Hux’s heart sank. For a brief window in time he had thought that Ren had pulled the wool over his eyes; that he hadn’t actually been to visit Snoke and it had all been one big rouse in order to keep him off of Elara’s case and let her walk amongst the ship a free guest rather than having her locked in a cell awaiting punishment as she should have been.

 

“It has also been brought to my attention that you’ve approved his request for her reintroduction back into First Order ranks.”

 

“And?”

 

“Supreme Leader, I must protest.” Hux replied. “If this is indeed true and indeed your command, then pardon me for being so forward but I have many concerns.”

 

“Concerns that you’ve seen fit to come to me in the night for an upper hand like no more than a common snake.” Snoke shifted in his seat, disappointment at the dissension in his ranks wrought clear over the image of his face.

 

“Sir, forgive me that is not my intent.”

 

“A third time so soon you’ve bid for my pardon. My patience grows thin.”

 

Hux flustered and bowed his head again, quite solidly feeling he was on the end of a losing battle of the worst kind.

 

“Supreme Leader, it is of my opinion that we should not so willingly accept Skipburn and allow her the privilege of serving The Order once more.” He continued. “She should be held accountable for her crimes against us and punished to the fullest extent possible.”

 

“Such a predictable opinion for you to take. Disappointing.”

 

“Sir, these are not mere petty offenses, nor is the record in her dossier brief in any manner. I do not feel she swears true allegiance to The Order and it will be of great detriment to allow her to continue onward. Her presence here is detrimental to say the least.

 

“I see.”

 

A heavy silence hung over the chamber, filling Hux with anticipation at the next words to pass the Supreme Leader’s lips.

 

“Regrettable.” Snoke's voice fell in a low rumble, resonating through the room as quiet as a thunderstorm.“Your concerns do not fall on deaf ears Hux. Nor have they passed beyond my judgment without utmost consideration. I have made my decision. The choice is yours to accept it or not.”

 

“Sir…”

 

“Do you think me unwise, Hux?”

 

“No, Supreme Leader.” The general assured him sheepishly. “You are most wise and I stand humbled before you, always. My only concern is for The Order and what it seeks to achieve.”

 

“Do you think me blind?” Snoke’s voice grew in volume with every punctuated statement. “Do you think me unseeing, unknowing and foolish in my rule?”

 

“No, Supreme Leader.”

 

“Do you think I cannot see your mind and the childish games you play? Do you think I cannot see the dissension you bring with you in your ridiculous attempt at a climb for glory and power uncontested?”

  
“No Su-”

 

“But still you question my word!”

 

Hux fell silent, knowing all too well when it was more than just a little appropriate to hold his tongue despite his raging desire to do anything but that.

 

“Keep a tighter hold of your Jealousy, Hux unless you so desire lest I find it so preoccupying I deem you unfit to keep hold of your command.”

 

He flustered as he wracked his mind for something, anything to regain a foothold in from to the Supreme Leader with knowing full well there was little nothing now that he could do; full well knowing there was little or no common ground on which there would now be. Snoke already knew everything there was to know and could easily suss out what more he needed to. He may have just entirely made a fool of himself and took a dent to his character and his standing in the eyes of the Supreme Leader, but one thing he knew for certain; if he was about to go down in flames, he would try his damned is to take Ren down with him, knock him down a peg or two and plant any seed of distrust and malcontent in the Supreme Leader’s mind towards his apprentice if it wasn’t already too late.

 

“Ren has lead you astray, Supreme Leader.” He seethed. “He’s not been clear and true in when speaking of his intentions towards her to you and I fear it will lead to unsavory things that could derail our mission if anything more is left in his hands. He’s becoming infatuated with her or well on the path as such, I’m sure of it.”

 

“You know this how?” Snoke questioned, untroubled by the general’s persistence and wavered by his stance. “Because he dared defend her against you? Because he dared champion her cause to your ruler without first informing you?”

 

“No.”

 

“The girl has a role to play.”

 

“Supreme Leader, you know as well as I do that Ren is unbalanced and-”

 

“The.girl.has.a role.” Snoke reiterated.

 

“Sir-

 

“Do I need to speak more clearly?”

 

“You cannot allow this to continue...you cannot allow them to align and their bond to grow!”

 

Hux struggled miserably to keep his composure only to have it slip through his fingers more and more with each passing second and each passing thought of Snoke siding with Ren instead of himself. It made his stomach churn and fire well in his chest, Ren having the favor of the Supreme Leader. He had worked so hard for years to rise in the ranks, he had done away with anything and anyone that stood in his way. Though he was increasingly on thin ice in his unwillingness to relent until his point was carried across, Hux could not fathom the thought of backing down until he achieved what he so desired. He would never be able to live with the embarrassment of being berated if it came with no reward. He would never with the favor consistently landing in Ren’s favor if he didn’t put forth the best fight he good to alter the course of the way of things even just a little.

 

“With her at his side in the trajectory, they travel he will turn from his path and he will drive our forces straight into the ground! Ren will run our mission to folly if you allow this farce to continue! And I do not beg your pardon for my insubordination or my outrage in the matter for I would rather-”

 

“The girl is with The Force.” Snoke raised his voice above Hux’s incessant rambling. Silencing his insolence with a wave of shock and confusion.

 

“The Force?” Hux arched a brow, stunned and falling back into a more respectful tone. “Sir, I can see no note listed in her dossier...Ren has yet to mention anything of this. Is this not subterfuge?”

 

“It is buried in her, hidden, bound from in her and all but erased.” Snoke explained. “But something stirs it within her blood. The door has been unlocked and her abilities will soon shine through in strength. Ren suspects it but he has not yet so confirmed his inclination.”

 

“Even more cause for concern.”

 

“No.” Snoke waved his hand dismissively. “There is a disturbance in the force, I have felt it but it cannot be made clear to me what lay on the horizon and I will not yet throw this girl to the shadows so quickly as you would. It would be unwise.”

 

There would be no further argument to the Supreme Leader. For all he tried to sway a decision, the revelation came with finality with which there wouldn’t be any common ground to prove a point. Snoke’s solidarity with fellow force users saw to that with ease, unfortunately as far as Hux was concerned. There would be no furthering his cause on account. But even then, with the odds mounted against him, he refused to set his objective aside. Even then the wheels continued to turn in his head. Even then he devised a way to work his will. If it had to be a will carried out on his own, then so be it.

 

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

 

“I will hear no more.” With a flick of his robed wrist Snoke, motioned for Hux to take his leave. “Now, go and busy yourself with the completion of your Starkiller Base and leave Ren and the girl in the hands of your leader. We will strike the Republic hard and without mercy and we will bring it to its knees. Prepare your weapon leave the rest to follow.”

 

Hux nodded and turned respectively turned his back, footsteps echoing out a determined beat against the gangway, deterred though not yet defeated. He did not take lightly to disrespecting the Supreme Leader nor did he take lightly breaking command and going against direct order. All the same he did not take lightly to any perceived threat of which he could detect, and Ren and his new little pet most certainly had the ability to pose just that. If Hux had to disobey Snoke a thousand times over to prove his point and remove Ren from the equation, then that was the sacrifice that had to be made. He would be better for it once it had been carried out; the entire order would be and they would sing his praise once he outted Ren for what he really was. They would sing his praise when he, himself restored order to the galaxy and placed control to whom it rightfully belonged.

 

“Do not mistake my lenience for willful ignorance.” Snoke's bid him a handful of parting words, halting him in his tracks. “Still your mind and practice patience and you may yet have your way.”

 

 

Hux peered back over his shoulder at his leader, question written in his mind despite the resignation written on his face.

 

“They are predestined to walk a shared path. Ren will test the girl and in turn I will test him.”

 

Hux peered back over his shoulder at his leader, question written in his mind despite the resignation written on his face.

 

“She will be his greatest ally, and together they will be our greatest strength.”

 

“Our greatest strength...or our worst nightmare.”

 

 

 


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Echoes - Part One

Ren was not a patient man. That much he knew for himself without anyone having to tell him as much and without ever having to question it in his own mind. The need for instant gratification had flowed through his veins since birth, both a burden and a blessing. It was part of what drove him after all but at the same time part of what could just as easily, and had just as easily led him to ruin at the same time. He was not a patient man and one of the worst things imaginable to him was having to wait for whatever it was that he so wanted in his grasp.

 

For the time being, as it stood, what Ren wanted the most was answers; one in particular more than the rest, and as far as he was concerned he had waited long enough. He wanted answers, needed answers and he had tried to pull them from Elara and from himself for long enough.

 

Ren wanted answers, and the only absolution to his predicament was still solidly asleep and snoring in his bed; spent from the spell that claimed her the night before.

 

He hovered over her silently at the foot of the bed, watching her sleep. She was a shadow of the broken woman she had been the night before. Still and calm, peaceful even in her slumber. No more shadows of nightmares and nothing of her past eating at her enough to flood her with worry and panic. She was peaceful, her fingers wrapped around the sheets beside her left vacant in his wake; relaxed, and comfortable.

 

But there was too much to be done now that matters, for the most part, had been settled and he had decided just what exactly to do with the girl he wondered so much about. Even if he wanted to let her sleep, was no time to indulge her. More was now in the works than she knew, more to be accomplished. And time, in dealing with the matters at hand, was everything and he had let her rest for far too long already.

 

“Get up.” He thumped his foot against the base of the bed, jostling it to shake her free of her slumber.

 

Elara sighed slightly, turning in the bed, only just lightly emerging from apparent coma-like state just enough to pull the blankets around herself a little tighter and settle back in the bed.

 

Another couple sharp thumps of his boot, each one more assertive than the last still drew no response. She was either very stubborn, or very tired. Not that he could fully blame her, it had probably been the first good night’s Elara had enjoyed since first joining their company.

 

“Get up…” Ren drew back his foot and kicked the bed frame again, this time with enough force to wake and finish the job.

 

“What?” She pulled herself upright sharply, foggy and disheveled. Her hair drooping limply over her forehead, obscuring half of her face in a perfect rat’s nest. “What’s happening?”

 

“You’ve been sleeping for hours.” He replied, lobbing a stack of neatly folded black clothing at her side. “Get up...get dressed. Hurry up.”

 

Elara yawned widely, stretching dainty arms high over her head and letting them flop back down into her lap as she folded over herself drowsily, still motionless in the bed. “What time is it?”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“I suppose not.” She rubbed at sleepy, squinty eyes peering up at him and pulling the clothing towards her. “What are these?”

 

“A training uniform.”

 

“Training uniform?”

 

“I’ve planned our attack.” Ren sighed, her constant questioning as usual beginning to irritate him. “We strike the rebel outpost tomorrow. You’ll take your place in my flight squadron...I’d have you fly lead...I already know you can fly, I need to test your fighting skills in hand to hand. I need to see what you can do.”

 

Elara nodded slowly, still a little confused as she slowly started to wake a little more and the haze of sleep filtered free of her mind.

 

“Get up.” He continued. “Wash up if you’d like, do what you need to. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

 

“Yeah...okay.”

 

“Quicker would be better.”

 

Elara rolled her eyes and pulled herself and her fresh new uniform to the side of the bed. “I heard you the first time.”

 

“And still you haven’t really moved.” Ren snapped back.

 

“Whatever.”

 

“Five minutes. I’ll meet you in the lounge.”

 

He bit back anything more he wanted to say. She was frustrating, as always; she frustrated him. Her lack of discipline, her apparently lack of respect for anyone at all, the constant questioning, all of it. She was frustrating, irritating and yet still he found himself willing to help her, willing to work at her side; still he wanted to guide her, to show her, to teach her and take her under his wing. She frustrated him like no one else could do quite so easily, and still he could not yet fathom how and why he couldn’t bring himself to deal with her the same way as he would with anyone else who would put him in the same position. He could be cold, unfeeling towards her. He could be harsh and sharp as a knife’s edge, but it didn’t come at all naturally when he turned his darker side against her; when she drew it out of him and pushed him to the edge. He could be cold, and hard and sharp towards her, but he hadn’t fathomed just yet how to be cruel; he didn’t know if he could be and didn’t know if in actuality he wanted to be and it unsettled him more than anything.

 

She was frustrating to no end, but she was also something more.

 

Ren needed answers, and quickly. And as far as he was concerned, there was only one way to have them in his grasp.

 

***

 

The belly of the ship, just above the flight deck, was littered with a cluster of small training rooms each one with a different purpose than the other. Training was important in The First Order as it was in any group of forces. It was important for anyone in the ranks to stay in prime condition and hone their fighting skills on a regular basis, to make sure they were ready for the rigors of battle both mentally and physically. Any training Elara had ever been subjected to was always a solid combination of both, and she had no doubt what Ren had in store for her was going to be any different; a thought which pricked up her nerves to say the least. She’d already experienced what he was capable of mentally on more than one occasion, but that was outside of a training arena and she well knew things were about to be quite different. The physicality of it didn’t give her cause for concern, there would be no preparing for that; there would be no preparing for a sparring match against a man twice her size who could send her flying across the room to snap her spine as soon as he could look at her. The physicality wasn’t at all a cause for nerves within her, it was the mental warfare she wasn’t yet ready for; it was the mental warfare she was quite certain was about to commence and the cold, hollow training room, the sterility and the harshness of even the thick black padding against the walls did nothing to reassure her.

 

“You’re uneasy.”

 

He bid her not so much a question as a statement as she followed him into the small room and let her eyes wander about her surroundings.

 

“A little.”

 

“Don’t be...I’m sure you know enough to hold your own.

 

Elara scoffed. “Don’t be nervous… as if it’s that easy.”

 

“It is.” Ren countered her flatly. “If only you would try. If only you would let yourself understand there’s a time and a place for emotions...feelings...everything else. You haven’t seemed to figure out yet where and when that is.”

 

“Whatever you say.” She sighed and shook her head exasperatedly. “Can we just...do this? It’s early...I’m not really in the mood for a lecture.”

 

“Before we begin…”

 

Ren circled around the training room. He slipped on thin leather gloves and flicked his fingers at a handful of scattered windows, pulling heavy durasteel panels to shutter them and block them from view of anyone who should so happen to spy in at their training session.

 

“You won’t speak a word of this to anyone…do you understand?”

 

“I...guess so?” Elara’s eyes trailed after him as he flicked his wrist and in similar fashion the entry way doors flew shut and barred any and all entry; or exit for that matter. “But…”

 

“Tell me what you know about the force.”

 

All the more confused she shrugged. “About as much as anyone I suppose…I mean as anyone who’s not...you know...like you.”

 

“So, nothing then.” Ren smirked.

 

“Basically.”

 

“Not surprising.” He retreated to the corner of the room, and stooped to pick up two slender wooden poles from the thin from the casing they were bound in. “Disappointing...but not surprising...so many people know so very little. They like to think they know...they like to assume they know. But that’s where the line between fact and fiction gets blurred.”

 

“So basically like everything else in life.” Elara scoffed.

 

“Yes.”

 

Ren’s voice fell softly, distractedly almost as he stood before here extending one of the poles toward the sky, his eyes trailing up and down it’s length. It had been so very long since he had laid eyes on his training sabers. So many memories, written in every dent and every scar that marred the wooden blades; so many memories, and regrettably the bad chased away the good; regrettably now there was so little left of the good that he had to strain to recount even a scrap of it, not that he wanted to of course.

 

“ Too many people making too many assumptions about what they think they know. Too many people making too many assumptions and never bothering to ask. Too many people making too many assumptions and relying on nothing but fear to guide them.”

 

Elara shifted uncomfortably as his eyes met hers, full well feeling quite like he wasn’t speaking so much of the force per say, but more about himself.

 

“It’s a problem…I hope you realize.”

 

“I do.” She agreed. “Wait what are we doing here exactly? I thought you wanted to train.”

 

“We are.”

 

“With...pretend lightsabers...why?”

 

“Because training with pretend blasters would be pointless and silly” Ren paused. “Situationally.”

 

“Uh...okay.” Elara gave her head a shake.

 

More and more over by the second the entire scenario was growing more bizarre. She wasn’t a Jedi. She didn’t have a real lightsaber, nor did she expect to be given one. She’d never held a lightsaber before in her life and if she was to be honest she had never even thought about holding one or had any desire to whatsoever; and now she was being expected to fight with one for some display of talent at hand to hand combat she would never even fall under let alone fall under with said weapon. More and more over by the second the entire scenario was growing more and more bizarre, more and more absurd and meaningless. But more and more by the second Elara was starting to understand the conclusion Ren was trying to guide her to arrive at; a foolish notion in itself.

 

“The force…” He circled behind her, slowly, more calmly, more eerily emotionless than usual as he parroted part of his uncle Luke’s words so long ago in his own training, though it pained him to do so. “Is the energy between all things, the tension...the balance that binds the universe together...it’s so much more than just a mere power...and when we understand it...there are those of us who can use it freely. When we understand it, there are those of us who can use it freely to guide us...to aid us…to make us stronger. It’s more than just a mere power, but when we understand it, when we can bend it and move through it...that’s what it gives us. That’s what it allows us to have so easily at our fingertips. Power...raw power...there’s nothing like it, there never will be. Once you have a taste of it you’ll never want to go without it.”

 

“But wait a minute….you’re not suggesting-”

 

Ren stopped to rest before her, softly tossing one of the sabers in her direction for it to clatter at her feet and preempt her questioning train of thought and divert it back to the task at hand.

 

“Pick it up…” His eyes fixed on her, fiery in intensity and dead focused on what he needed to do to bring what he wanted out of her.

 

“What?”

 

“You heard me...I want you to pick it up... _now_.”

 

Elara sighed and stooped to lift the saber only to have him harshly kick it away from her when as her fingers drew all but close enough sending it skidding across the floor a few inches away from her.

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Pick it up.”

 

She grit her teeth and sidestepped closer to the saber, frustration rising and not giving in to his ridiculousness and anything he was insinuating. She would go toe to toe with him if that’s what he wanted, however much of unmatched fight it would be, but she hadn't the mind for stupid games and stupid unfounded insinuations. She stopped again and infuriatingly once again Ren flipped the saber through the air away from her with his foot.

 

“Pick it up.”

 

“Then stop _fucking_ kicking it away from me.”

 

“That’s not what I mean...you know it’s not, you’re playing stupid again...pick.it. up.”

 

“I _can’t_ pick it up the way you want me to.” She glared at him. “I’m not _like_ you.”

 

“No?” Ren arched a brow. “Are you so sure?”

 

“I think I would know by now if I were.”

 

“That’s not true...some people go their entire lives without knowing...it’s rare, but they do.”

 

“Yeah, well...not me. Can we stop this now...this is…”

 

“We’ll stop when you pick it up. “

 

“I’ll show you fucking pick it up.” She muttered under her breath.

 

Still unrelenting she tried to weave around Ren and make a grab for it on her own terms but his reflexes were too fast. In an instant he flipped his hand and swiped it away from her, making it draw back on its own and rap her sharply across the knuckles.

 

“Ow! Son of a bitch!” She hissed through clenched teeth.

 

“Try and touch it again, and I’ll break your hand.” He chastised sternly, smirking at the flash in her eyes as she stared him down. “Why are you so afraid? If you’re so unconvinced you can’t, then why are you so unwilling to try? So afraid to?”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Then _do_ it.”

 

“No.”

 

“You won’t because you’re afraid to...you’re afraid I’m wrong...afraid you’ll fail...don’t be….don’t be afraid, use that feeling...turn it to something else, don’t let it control you.”

 

“I-”

 

“Haven’t you ever wondered why you’re able to fly the way you do?”

 

Ren diverted her attention, drawing her saber into his hand spinning it and skipping the hilt over his fingers idly as he carried on in his questioning.

 

“Haven’t you ever wondered how you’re able to fly _exactly_ the way you do...how you can know how to move that way? How you can see two, sometimes three moves in advance?”

 

“This is ridiculous.”

 

“No one really flies that way. Why do you think you can?”

 

“Practice...training...genetics...talent.” Elara snapped. “Pick one.”

 

“Maybe. But then that wouldn’t explain how you matched me...bested me even, does it?”

 

“I’m just a better fucking pilot than you.”

 

“You might be...but that’s not really it.” He sloughed off the bitter attempt at insult and stated her dead in the eye. “You know it…you sense it...you feel it. Somewhere in there, you know what I’m telling you is true...you’re just too afraid to consider it...don’t lie to yourself...it’s alright if it scares you, it scared me too. It’s that spark...it’s in there. I know it.”

 

“That’s enough.”

 

Ren smirked again. The more frustrated Elara grew the more he knew he was hitting the nail on the head and driving right home right where it needed to be. Pushing her was the only way, she’d never tap into it otherwise; her confusion and her hesitance would hold her back. It was only raw emotion that would pull it from her. That much he knew, that’s what he had felt when he’d probed her mind on their first encounter. The lock that bound them, fueled by her fear and her anger. She’d never realize it unless he showed her and he couldn’t show her unless he pushed her to the brink. He would get there, he would unleash that spark he knew was somehow buried so deep within. But he hadn’t found the sweet spot just yet, he knew how to. He knew just how far to dig and he would get there. He would have to press her, and she would hate him for it, but it was what needed to be done.

 

Elara flinched and shot him a glare as she felt him press into her head. Gently thumbing around the edges of her thoughts, familiar hum flooding her senses.

 

“You father...that’s where you get it from.” He pushed a little further, a little more forcefully but not so much as to let her throw her guard back up. “He was force sensitive...your mother never told you.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

“It is...she never told you, not once you were old enough to understand or remember your conversations anyway.” He continued. “You know it to be true. It’s in there too, that secret...buried, covered over, kept from you...she kept everything from you.”

 

“No, she didn’t. She didn’t keep anything from me because there was nothing to hide...you’re insane.”

 

“She never told you...she hated it...it frightened her.” Ren extended his arm, saber in hand towards her. “And you always knew there was something more whenever she told you how much like him you were…how much she hated you for it.”

 

Elara clenched her jaw and shook her head, trying to block out his words and let them fall on deaf ears. She didn’t want to hear, she didn’t want to think about it or to know about it. And mostly, she didn’t want him to be right.

 

“Get out of my head.”

 

“Make me.” He goaded her. “Make me...you’ve done it before, you can do it again.”

 

She glared at him again. Smug in his stance, arm still outstretched towards her, daring her to take the saber daring her to prove a point, be it whether he was right or whether he was wrong, he dared her to prove to him that she wasn’t afraid. She could speak it all she wanted but he would never believe her unless she put her money where her mouth was.

 

“No?” He arched a brow cockily. “Then take the saber and I’ll let you go. Take it from me. You want to...don’t pretend you don’t.”

 

“No.”

 

“Coward...look at you...look at how weak you are...look at how _afraid_ you are.” He spat, derision tainting his tone as his temperament towards her shifted.

 

“I’m not.”

 

“You _are..._ all you are is fear. All you ever were was fear. You won’t even allow yourself a chance...you let your cowardice guide you...you won’t even take what you want...you’re so weak...so afraid of what will happen...you think you deserve to be here? You think you deserve to waste my time?”

 

“You’re wasting your own time.” Elara snarled, hands curled into tiny fists as she stood her ground.

 

Ren smirked in return.

 

“You think he wanted this for you...your father? You think he would have wanted you to let you poison your mind against all of your strength? Take it...use that fear and force it to be something more...let it drive you...it’s the only way you’ll become stronger...the only way you’ll survive.

 

“Stop.”

 

“You would have disappointed him.” Ren chided her, twisting the knife a little deeper. “The man you hold in such high regard...the man you’ve never met but always aspired to make so proud...as if it would have ever mattered... _take.it._ ”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“You would have disappointed him...you’re so _weak_.”

 

“ _Shut. up!_ ”

 

Elara snapped and she felt something course through her, a great surge of energy unlike anything else coursed through her as she unknowingly flexed her fingers at her side. In an instant the saber was torn from Ren’s grip, pulling through the air towards her. Catching her off guard she skirted herself to the side, avoiding its path and cranking her head around to follow its path as it continued on with speed and collided with the wall behind her and clattered to the ground again echoing in its impact. She spun, insurmountable shock in her eyes, to face Ren again.

 

“There it is.” He smiled softly, pleased with his own efforts.

 

Pleased with the affirmation of what he knew. But mostly pleased that she had bent to him, pleased that she had bent to her own self and let go of whatever was holding her back and found a way to do exactly as he instructed without even knowing it.

 

“There it is… there’s that spark.”

 


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Echoes - Part 2

“I-I-I didn’t do that.” Elara sputtered. Stunned, shaken and barely able to comprehend what had just happened, barely able to wrap her mind around it and barely able to speak her thoughts. 

“Didn’t you?” Ren stepped around her, eyes locked on her, alight with self affirmation, satisfaction, pride and a dozen other different things that made his gaze deeper more intense and more moving than ever. 

“You did that.”

“No...I didn’t.”

“You had to have…I-I didn’t ...I didn’t do.that. There’s no way.”

“Ah, but you did...you did do that...and there’s most certainly a way.” 

He hovered behind her, pausing and placing the saber in her hand. 

“You don’t have to be ashamed...you don’t have to be afraid.” He whispered lowly at her ear, his hand covered hers cupping the back as he gently curled her fingers closed around the hilt. “You don't have to be afraid...you are the one who should be feared...if you so choose...you did do that...that was all you.”

Ren searched her, eyes roaming over her features, for understanding, for acceptance at what she truly was, for what she truly had in her and all she could aspire to be. She was rattled and shaky, that was to be expected; her whole life had more or less been a lie. She was rattled and shaky and beneath the shock was uncertainty, curiosity and questions. Beyond that, he couldn’t quite tell, couldn’t quite get a fix on what exactly had begun to light up her mind and lift her from and fog. Whatever it was it wasn’t important, not now anyways. The only thing that mattered for the time being was what she was about to do with her revelation, and what she could do with it, but for that she would require a little more prodding. 

“Show me.” He mumbled, breaking the silence that had fallen over them.

The saber shook in Elara’s grasp as she stood motionless, unsteady on her feet and equally as much in her mind. 

“Show me…” Ren flicked his own saber against her ankles rapping her lightly to shake her free from her thoughts that bound her. “You’ll surprise yourself, I promise.”

“I can’t...I didn’t…”

“Stop saying that, you did.” He hissed. “You did...and you’re still denying yourself…don’t fall back to that. Take it for what it is, accept it and think of all that you could have if your mother hadn’t been so biased.”

He circled around her and tapped her again at her heels. 

 

“Think of what you could have been if she hadn’t judged you...hadn’t only seen fit to approve of you if you met her standards.”

Nothing. She was frozen.

“You should have been regarded...valued for your gift…and instead what were you?”

He tapped her at her hip and felt the faintest whisper of a response stir in her this time. 

“Nothing.”

“Nothing...” He paused just in front of her, scouring her soul again. “You were always nothing...she never wanted you not the way you are...she never cared for you. It was only the ideal of you she cared for. You were never anything to her...you were trash...she threw you away like it was nothing...just like everyone has...like you’re nothing. That’s all you’ll ever be to them...nothing...because you let yourself be.”

A wave of emotion welled in Elara’s chest and her fingers squeezed against the hilt of her saber. 

“You’re angry...good, use it...hold to it...think of all you could have done if things were different...all your life could have been.” Ren shuffled back from her tipping the blade of the training saber upwards, resting it gently against the hollow of her collar bone. “Show me...show me all you could have done when she threw you out and left you on your own...you...a child. You needed her and she couldn’t have cared any less...you know you would have done something...you know you’d still do something if you had her in front of you. Take it out on me and show me while you have the chance...you know you want to.”

He flicked the blade upwards swiftly, knocking her solidify on the underside of her chin. 

“Show me.”

Elara snarled and with a few quick steps she lunged at Ren, forcing him back, swinging the blade of her saber wildly. Hollow clacks echoing through the room as he blocked every furious stroke she made and hastily locked her up and held her in her last stance solidly. 

“Not bad.” He fed her a little praise for her first efforts, solidly impressed at the speed at which she launched her attack. “But you can be better...you’re still afraid...you’ll never see your potential if you don’t let go.”

He pushed against her bending her back slightly and giving her a solid shove that sent her stumbling back a little. 

“Get up and do it again.” He ordered calmly, extending a hand to help her up only to have her brush it off; as he expected her to. “Think of everyone who tossed you aside. Think of how little they wanted you….The Resistance...how little they thought they needed you...again.”

Elara grit her teeth and launched forward for the second round. This time Ren dodged her every move, slipping below her blade, spinning and side stepping her before resting his blade at her lower legs, sweeping it under her and upending her, sending her backward on her rear to scowl at him. 

“You’re leading with your feet...don’t, it’s an easy tell…” He spun his saber nonchalantly and awaited for her to gather yourself. “Again.”

She was barely too her feet long enough to make a move when Ren blocked her blow once more, shoved her back off of him and countered with his own; slashing fast and bringing the wooden rod down against her ribs, hard and not at all showing her the service of any mercy. Elara yelped sharply and clutched at her side, doubled over as she struggled to catch the breath caught in the back of her throat. 

“Asshole.”

“You expect your enemies to go easy on you?”

“No.”

“Then why should I?” He barked. “Again!”

Elara made to grab for the saber on the floor and Ren cracked his down across the crook of her shoulder against her neck, drawing another strangled cry. 

“I’d have killed you by now if my weapon was real...again...make it count!”

Again and again she went for him and again and again she all that resulted was Ren telling her each and every stupid mistake she was making. Either she was too eager or she was too slow. Either she was thinking about her attack too much or not enough at all. Either she wasn’t paying enough attention the tells he hand fed her or she was paying too much. She was either too focused or not focused enough. Again and again she went for him, and again and again she would fail. Again and again she went for him and again and again he sent her sprawling on her ass or slammed his blade against her so harshly she was sure she’d feel the aftermath of the blows for weeks on end. Again and again she went against him and again and again she would fail; there was no chance of beating him at something with which he had so much practice and it frustrated her to her very core. 

“You’re getting sloppy…” Ren huffed, taking a moment to catch his own breath along with her. Sweat dripping from his brow, exhausted as much as she was yet not willing to give up until he had exactly what he needed. “You’re making it easy for me...is that what you want? Is that what you think I want? You’re making it too easy for me...you can do better, you have it in you but you won’t push yourself.”

“It’s not fair.” Elara protested grasping at her left knee, the site of his last blow, gingerly.

“What’s not fair?”

“The fight...it’s not fair.” She grumbled. “The match. I’ll never beat you.”

“You might not...you’re right, it’s not fair...it never will be.” He replied flatly. “No fight is fair, whether it’s swayed in your favor or someone else’s, no fight will ever be fair...life isn’t fair.”

“But how can I-”

“It’s not fair.” He mocked her. “That’s what you choose to say? It’s not fair...is that what you’ll say in a real fight before someone takes their killing strike and snuffs you out?”

“No.” Elara winced and she pulled herself upright, readying herself for another round against him. 

“Was it fair what Sharrak did to you? Is that what you told him? It’s not fair?”

She froze and stared at him incredulously, heated cheeks and mind a flame, outraged that he would throw what she had told him the night before back in her face; not surprised in the slightest, but outraged all the same. 

“Was it fair of him to do what he did? Would you be so weak in front of him now?!”

Ren’s voice echoed off of the walls around them as he raised his voice, both provoking her to action as much venting the disgust and anger at the thought of all Elara had laid out for him. 

“Is this how you would be if he were here in front of you?! Is this what you would do?! AGAIN!”

She tightened her grip once more and flew at him one last time with everything she had. One last time and for all it was worth. One last time and she side stepped his strike letting her heart guide her and her anger feed her as he instructed. One last time and she spun swiftly on her heel and swung before she could see him. One last time and she felt her blade connect with him this time, instead of his saber. One last time and she landed her first blow straight across the middle of his back before he could turn, hard and with meaning. One last time and the puzzle pieces came together. 

Ren shot her a glance over his shoulder and smirked; a little stunned at the result which she had achieved, but not quite as much as Elara herself. She’d achieved her goal but more importantly, he’d achieved his. He’d found the sweet spot once again, and he had it in a stranglehold he wasn’t about to let go. 

“Was it fair of him when he sold you off to a pleasure house for a few days wages so he could save his own skin?!”

Ren took a swing at Elara and she blocked it without struggle, sliding her blade free and slashing him across the chest in the process.

“Was it fair for you to be forced into slavery?!”

He made to swing at her and she she bent backwards, barely keeping her balance but avoiding the blow. 

“Was it fair for you to be forced to become a common whore to drunks and bottom feeders for months on end?!

Two quick blocks and she swung at him and took him to his knees with a blow to the back of his legs. 

Ren waited a beat and gathered himself, relenting in his intensity but not at all in his intent, his voice low, pointed and laden with contempt.

“Was it fair when you had no choice but to let them rape you again...and again...and again?” 

He charged at her, and she stepped up to meet him, blocking him solidly, her turn to tie him up now. Blade against blade, force struggling against force. Deadlocked and unwavering they were eye to eye, both hungry, both furied, each as strong willed as the other; stuck in that warm intoxicating hum that had bound them together during their first chance encounter, both drowning in it once again. Elara shifted her weight on her feet and pushed against him with all her might, flexed her energy against his with everything she had and forced him backwards tripping over his feet and toppling to the ground, trembling hand holding her blade at his throat by the time he was able to draw his head up and look at her. She towered over him now, steadfast and resolute in her victory, the beginnings of a pillar of strength she thought she could never be. 

“There now...look what you’ve done.” Satisfaction spread this time not into a smirk but a poisonous smile across Ren’s face as he caught his breath once more. He had his answers, at least those which he sought out for the time being. “There’s that spark.”

Elara lowered her blade slightly.

“No, you’re not like me at all…are you?”

Another moment and her arm was at her side, overwhelming emotion rising to a head that she knew she had little chance of controlling and she backed away slightly, eyes still fixed on him. 

“Fuck you.” The only two simple words she could manage to muster before she turned and made her way towards the entrance. “Open the fucking door.”

Ren obliged her, heavy sigh escaping his lips and his broad shoulders falling slightly as he watched her wing her saber furiously across the room to ricochet off the wall. He let her go without a word, even if he didn’t want to.

He had met his end goal, his end purpose in bringing her to the training room, but perhaps not exactly reaction from her to such as he was hoping. 

He had met his end goal and his purpose and the rest would come easy. 

Or so he hoped.


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Sheep's Clothing

“Skipburn?”

 

Elara’s head snapped upright, frozen with her fingers wound in the thick braid she weaved through her hair as the doors to Ren’s chambers slid open and an unfamiliar voice announced itself; precursor to the sight of a sandy haired stranger with ice blue unfeeling eyes decked out in a flight suit standing proper and upright in the middle of the room as though she should have any idea who he was or why he was there.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Archer Upswind, nice to meet you.”

 

“Uh, okay...same...I think?” She responded politely and continued readying herself for the day’s most important mission.

 

“Sorry.” Upswind chortled and eased a little. “Squad mate...we’re squad mates you and I. I fly with Ren...well I’m an alternate anyways...my lucky day today Zaraft’s stuck in med bay so here I am...and I’m apparently terrible at introductions.”

 

“No worries.”

 

Elara flashed him quick smile and continued on, grabbing for her boots next and paying this new face no further mind, too preoccupied with her own self to be bothered with anything more.

 

“The commander said you needed he needed someone to collect you, is what I should also say so...again, here I am; playing a good errand boy.”

 

“Collect me?”

 

“Collect you, fetch you...whatever you wanna call it.” Upswind continued. “Escort you to the flight deck basically. All systems are go, we should be flying out shortly, and we obviously can’t do that without you...I hear you’re flying lead.”

 

 

“Yeah...I heard that too.” Elara smirked.

 

Of course he had sent someone to “collect” her. After the stint in the training room, Ren had all but avoided her for the entirety of the rest of the day; or she avoided him, or some combination of the two. There really was no telling which it was, if they were both put to some sort of inquisition and asked whom was making themself scarce around the other Elara was quite certain there would be two very different answers. That aside, it didn’t make it any less the truth, after the stint in the training room, Elara had avoided Ren like the plague. It was too much to be laid on her and too quickly at that. On a base level she understand why he had had to press her to the wall and illicit some sort of reaction, she supposed. If what he said was true and this thing, this power, this _force_ within her had been swept under the rug and secreted away from her since the time she was a small child, it probably most definitely did need a kick, a jump start to activate itself once again. On a base level she understood why he needed to do it, why he needed to have her understand, why he needed to wake it in her even if she didn’t want to know anything about it. It made her even more of an asset in her mind. She’d given him all the knowledge in the world, but now he had her in the palm of his hand to train and strengthen; an added weapon in the war and in that there was no fault to be had. All the same the aftermath was nothing she had wanted to deal with at the time. After stirred memories and the things he had told her of which she had no way of confirming or denying, all of it; she hadn’t wanted to deal with any of it.

 

Instead of seeing the smug look that would undoubtedly paste over his face, instead of having him question her further and converse about this the, in her mind, unexpected development, Elara had spent day into evening re familiarizing herself with the logistics of the ship. She wandered the corridors for the first time as a free passenger since being aboard, circling again and again through the sectors, hoping to find the sight of some friendly fast from the past only to find none. She wandered the corridors again and again, pausing every now and then on observation decks to gaze out at the stars littered in the dark, overlook the fighters being checked, honed and readied for their attack. She wandered the corridors on her own, for hours and hours hoping it would set her at ease and make her feel a little more at home only to feel more isolated and lonely than ever. She wandered the corridors for hours and hours until the soreness in her body, her war wounds so to speak, could tolerate no more and her feet could no longer carry her and she had nowhere else to return to other than Ren’s quarters; she hadn’t even stuck around after training long enough to have him tell her where she could find her own. The only place she had to go was back to Ren’s quarters, and he hadn’t returned for the night; another strange piece in the works to make her feel little more than isolated and alone. What had seemed a sanctuary in his presence, what had seemed a sanctuary when she knew he would grace it with his presence, somehow became cold, uncomfortable and threw her off more than just a little.

 

He hadn’t returned for the night and it only made sense that he had sent someone for her. Whether it was because he thought she was entirely incapable of finding the proper flight deck on her own or simply needed to be assured her allegiance remained and that she hadn’t taken up his most recent offer to cut and run it only made sense that he had sent someone to come for her; irritating as it was.

 

“If you need a few more minutes I can step out and wait if you’d like.” This strange new Upswind person offered.

 

“I know where the flight deck is...unless you’ve rearranged I’m fairly certain I can recount which bay Ren flies out of.”

 

“All the same.” Upswind confirmed.

 

“Well, there you go...you don’t have to wait I’ll meet you down there.”

 

“I would but...orders.”

 

“Orders...right...orders are orders.” Elara groaned inwardly, hardly in the mood for her impromptu company. “Fuck me if I wanted to look after myself right?”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Don’t be. Believe me I _understand_.”

 

Upswind laughed all knowingly and circled slowly about the room, biding his time while Elara finished suiting up. “Skipburn…”

 

“Mm-hmm.”

 

“Skipburn…”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“Where do I know that name from?”

 

Elara tensed a little, the sudden shift in conversation something she didn’t exactly take well to. She hadn’t had the privilege to meet many people since she had been on board. She hadn't been in the privileged position to suss yet who she could trust and who she should steer clear of. She hadn’t been in the privileged position to figure out which rebel spy was still among the living and within the ranks, gunning and ready to take advantage of knowledge she was back within The Order and most importantly she didn’t know who around her knew or remembered exactly _what_ about her. Being pressed and questioned on personal details set alarm bells screaming in every corner of her mind. Elara had no idea if it was with reason or if she were merely being gun shy, but she all the same it bothered her.

 

“I dunno.” She shrugged. “It’s a common enough name.”

 

“Is it? I didn’t think so when I heard it.”

 

She shrugged again. “My father was a Resistance pilot...Rax Skipburn...one of the best, they had from what my mother…from what everyone told me...died in the Battle of Endor. Ring a bell?”

 

“ _Rax_. _Skipburn_...no...no...that’s not it.”

 

Elara shot a glance at him over her shoulder and he stared back at her solidly, questioningly, in a creepy cocksure way that sent chills down her spine.

 

“Well then...fuck if I know...does it matter?”

 

“Nah...not really. Why...does it matter to you?”

 

Something wasn’t right. Something might not be altogether wrong either, and once again Elara questioned whether she was still on high alert stirred up for so many reasons but she couldn’t quite tell. All she knew at that point, was that she wanted desperately to get herself out of out of the conversation and she wanted desperately to get away from this supposed new squad made as quickly as possible.

 

“Not at all.” She sighed and pushed herself off of the couch. There was not more efficient way of extracting herself from the situation than throwing herself into the next; and that, at the moment, was getting to the flight deck in a promptly manner and carrying out the mission at hand. “Can we go?”

 

“Of course.” Upswind flashed her a smile, the same unnerving vibe emanating from his presence. “After you.”

 

***

 

Elara had wanted so desperately to be free of Ren’s chambers and the curiosity driven stranger himself, but the reality was getting to the flight deck wasn’t going to be a straight cakewalk either. Being stuck in a lift with this Upswind, whoever he was and whatever his stature was within the ranks, was just about as bad if not worse as being focus point to his queries anywhere else. Being stuck in a lift with him made every passing second stuck with no escape unbearable and only fueled her anxiety; even in silence. Being stuck with him in the lift was like a small cylinder that served as close to a personal hell as she could imagine existed. It was torture of the worst kind there was.

 

Unusually slow as it was every passing second seemed like an eternity stuck with no escape. Just a small cylinder that served as close to a personal hell as there possibly could be, at least as far as Elara was concerned. She bounced on her heels restlessly and tried to put aside her nerves and for what it was worth it worked, a little. But not really for as long as she had wanted it to; there was no full reprieve from questioning for the full length of the ride to the flight deck, and it was only about to rattle her even more at the exact time when she needed it least.

 

“Nervous?” Upswind asked, smiling again in that overtly strange and over friendly manner that seemed entirely out of place and unbefitting the situation.

 

“No.”

 

“Excited?”

 

She side eyed him and shrugged. “I just want to get out there, that’s all...get it done.”

 

“I can appreciate that, that’s for sure.” He nodded. “Seems strange for you though, I wouldn’t think you’d be so primed and ready.”

 

“Pretty big assumption.”

 

“Well your family...your ties to The Resistance.”

 

“I don’t _have_ any ties to The Resistance.” Elara bristled.

 

“Sorry...sorry...I meant no offense.” Upswind held up his hands in defense, deflecting the deadly glare she threw his way. “I mean…you did leave us for a time did you not?”

 

She scoffed, yet again not embracing his line of questioning; not having it inspire warm and friendly feelings in the slightest.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well, it’s just...there’s so few people who leave...we don’t get a lot of deserters around here...kind of gets noticed when it happens.”

 

“I’m not a deserter.”

 

“Oh...okay. I’m really sticking my foot in my mouth aren’t I just thought you might be-”

 

“Well, I’m not. So it’d be great if you could keep that _thought_ to yourself.”

 

“Lips are sealed...it won’t pass beyond these doors.”

 

“Thanks.” She grumbled.

 

A pregnant pause hung over the lift and if she didn’t know any better she would have sworn this Upswind fellow, and anyone else for that matter, would have been able to hear her heart thumping in her chest from a mile away.

 

“You’re not a deserter, that’s...that’s really great. You know, we don’t need to be worrying about people’s loyalty these days. We don’t need to worry about keeping our friends close and your enemies closer.”

 

“No, I suppose not.”

 

Another pause.

 

“You’re not a deserter and that’s really great...but then if you don’t mind me asking...what was the deal then? Why’d you leave us anyways?”

 

Elara got the distinct feeling he wasn’t been forthcoming; the distinct feeling he was merely toying with her and was simply ready and waiting for something, anything she would accidentally give him.

 

“Listen, I don’t mean to be rude but I’d really rather not...I was kind of hoping to clear my head...get focused...you know?”

 

She made a bid for his silence as best she could, tying it back to the mission at hand so as to try not to seem outwardly awkward or odd; so as to try and not raise his suspicions that _she_ was on high alert in regards to any and all intent he had.

 

“I get it. Jeez,I apologize I just get so _ramped up_ when I smell blood in the water you know?” Upswind grinned, “Very exciting, _very_ exciting. _And_ I like to get to know who I’m dealing with before I deal with them...same thing like I said...keep your friends-”

 

“Yeah, I’m not really in the practice of keeping friends right now so…”

 

“Were you ever...I mean you seem a little guarded.”

 

“Yes, actually once.” Elara sighed in frustration, almost flat out willing Upswing to shut up at that point.

 

“Once? You’ve only ever had friends once in your life?”

 

“Once. _Yes_ once...is that a problem for you?”

 

“No.” He shrugged. “Kinda weird though. A girl like you...seems like you would have been very _popular_ in your life...I mean at some point you had to have been.”

 

“And what’s that supposed to mean”

 

“Hey...nothing….not a thing, truly. I’m just trying to make small talk.”

 

“I had a friend once and he got sent away for training and never came back.” She spat.

 

Her nerves manifested in near full rage all the while mixed with several dozen buried childhood memories she would have chosen not to remember at all let alone right then and there, mercilessly trapped in a lift with a complete stranger. Memories of lighter days, filled with innocence and the inability to predict that anything and everything would turn on her end and her life would be thrown to the wolves. Happy memories, memories of lighter days and a everything that was had been so cruelly ripped away from her. Happy memories, of the only person she had ever held in any sort of regard at all, the only person she’d imagined would be steadfast by her side for life or even longer; similarly so painfully ripped out of her reality. Happy memories but painful memories of a life long dead and in the ground; a life that she now knew could have turned out so differently.

 

“He’s dead now, they think...or they say.” She continued. “And sorry but I’ve been pretty preoccupied with being fucked up on account of it if that’s all the same to you. I _don’t_ really talk before a mission strike, I _don’t_ care that you do and I _don’t_ really feel like giving you my life story because it’s none of your fucking business...is that _okay_ or is there anything else you’d like to ask me?”

 

“Gotcha.” Upswind flashed her a wink and clicked his tongue against his teeth at her.

 

Another cringe worthy, creepy act that set her the hairs on the back of her neck on end and made her want to claw her way out of the lift rather than stay within its confines for another second

 

Thankfully, blessedly she didn’t have to.

 

Just a momentary beat and another creepy smirk from her assailant of sorts; just a momentary beat before the lift doors breezed open and at long last Elara was released from her temporary prison and she exhaled in relief. Just a momentary beat and the lift doors breezed open and she saw him. _Him_ , he who once so intimidated her and who now flooded her with nothing else aside from a heavy sense of release. Elara’s heart leaped at the sight of Ren across the expanse of the flight deck, elegant frame ever cloaked in black; intimidating as ever as he held a small handful of uniformed men at attention as he received the last of the intel reports on the base on Nebrus he's undoubtedly sent out a team to surmise while she had been locked out of access in Hux’s custody.

 

She saw him from across the flight deck and there was nothing more she wanted, nothing more she needed than to get to him. Kylo Ren, the monster that struck fear in the very heart of the galaxy was her security blanket, her safety net, her haven. A more ridiculous concept she couldn't even fathom but it was what it was aboard the ship that she knew wasn’t going to put her directly in the course of harm; the only person on board the ship who _hadn’t_ put her directly in the course of harm in the brief time she had known him. It was the most ridiculous concept she could ever possibly fathom but it was what it was and she knew without question that the only way she could take of the apprehension nagging in the back of her mind and put it squarely to bed.

 

Without wanting to seem hurried in Upswind’s presence, Elara took a deep breath and a few purposeful strides to exit the lift and make her way across the deck.

 

“Good flying.” Upswing called from behind her, as they parted.

 

She mumbled a curt response and waved him off.

 

“See you out there, _Elle_.”

 

Her heart froze and the blood all but drained from her face as she turned to hand him a questioning stare, hoping with everything she had that the shock that coursed through her soul wasn’t clear as day upon her face for him to see; but apparently it was.

 

“Oh...I’m sorry.” He feigned an sheepish apology and smiled once again. “Do you not like your name shortened? I’ll try and remember. Habit...I guess. Just a _friendly_ old habit.”

 

He called her Elle and any sense of security she had at that moment came crashing to a halt.

 

“No.” She cleared her throat and forced herself to breathe. “No, it’s fine…”

 

He called her Elle, and she could have vomited on the spot.

 

“Good flying.” She forced a bid of fortune and faked a polite smile despite the whirlwind in her gut.

 

He called her Elle. A nickname of which she had only bid to two people in the world. One of whom was Kylo Ren, the only person on board the ship she could wholeheartedly trust; the other and the other was Ty Sharrak.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Ad Victorium - Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note to say thank you for all the kudos and faves. I really enjoy knowing that people are enjoying what I have to offer. Just also a quick reminder, don't be shy, leave me a little comment, let me know what you think...it'd make my day!

“Ready?”

 

Her head snapped up from the crook of folded arms rested against the body of her fighter at the sound of Ren’s voice, steely and resolved as ever.

 

“Always.” She nodded, a little more weakly than she had intended to.

 

“You still lie.”

 

“It’ll pass...really it’s…”

 

“Nothing?” Ren arched a brow and stared at her inquisitively. “Really?”

 

She had been trying to gather herself, trying to project some semblance of cool battle ready steadiness that undoubtedly would be expected of her. But that had never come easy; not in her time previous with The Order, and not even before then when she had fought with The Resistance. Whether it was nerves, excitement, or an annoying combination of the two Elara, more often than not, had always been just a little bit of a mess in the hours, minutes and seconds before any sort of attack mission. It made her feel pathetic of course, but still, in so many years, she hadn’t really found a way to stem the tide of whatever it was that took hold of her until she was actually out in the thick of things. Add to her natural predisposition the audience of which Upswind had subjected her too and she felt caught up in such a surge of adrenaline and energy that she imagined herself about as steady as a dried out leaf quaking in the wind. Her knees were so weak she felt as though they could give out at any second, her stomach still twisted in knots, her head still light and spinning faster and faster by the minute. It was a wonder she didn’t bring up the meal bar she’d managed to choke down for breakfast all over Ren’s perfectly polished black boots; not that anyone could have blamed her really. Standard meal bars were hardly palatable and never really sat in anyone’s stomach all that well. It was a perfect storm and if it was to happen she had an excuse at the very least. Not that it would have gone over too well all the same and on that account, she clenched her teeth tightly together, swallowed thickly and by some small miracle managed to keep the bile from rising in her throat by sheer will alone.

 

“It’ll.pass.”

 

Ren nodded and took her assurance for what it was.

 

“You’ll be pleased to know the rest of your intel checked out.” He said flatly, briefly scanning the preparations about the rest of the hangar as multiple squadrons readying themselves for a full-scale strike on as many outposts as she had given locations for. “We’ll hit The Resistance hard and fast. Rest assured, you should be proud, satisfied. I’ve calculated we can ruin at least three of the five anyways; it’s a solid favor in our hand.”

 

“You think the others will escape?”

 

“I’m counting on it.”

 

Elara nodded again slowly. “It sends a message.”

 

“Yes. They can run all the way back to D’Qar if they’d like.” A light note lilted in his voice. “If they think the risk back to the Outer Rim is worth it.”

 

“I’m sure they think they stand a chance.” She shifted and sidestepped slightly, avoiding the rush of her mechanic performing last minute checks on her fighter as the whine of the engines. “Ever hopeful after all...what do _you_ think?”

 

“We’ll see...we can afford them that.”

 

“But we won’t be able to organize a strike.”

 

“I know.”

 

“You’re not serious...” Elara made a staunch protest.

 

All too suddenly she felt more than just a little miffed that the organization of an entire attack was about to be wasted and felt more than just a little miffed that everything she had to offer was seemingly about to be tossed aside so carelessly. It was one thing to have the forces at the outposts on the run, but the entire resistance fleeing from D’Qar was an entirely different matter.

 

“I am.” Ren said with finality.

 

“Then what’s the point? If they up and leave before we can get there we’ll be on a cat and mouse chase through the entire damn galaxy. All of this will be for nothing.”

 

Above all else Ren appreciated Elara’s ambition. She was eager, willing and driven to achieve what she desired and by everything he could tell, she wasn’t about to accept anything less than a preferable series of events and a favorable outcome. It was admirable if nothing else. But she still had so much to learn and there was still so much for him to teach her; so much he _had_ to teach her in order for her to see her full potential. She was eager and he found it to be admirable, but he knew eagerness often came with great risk if not managed appropriately, and he wasn’t about to allow that to happen.

 

“You think they can run forever?” He cast her a sly smirk all knowingly, fully assured in what he had planned as course of action. “Chased out of their base, you think they can hold forever? Their list of allies gets thinner by the day and there are only a few secret places they have left in the Outer Rim.”

 

Another set of fighters screamed to life, catching Elara off guard and sending a surge of adrenaline through her veins as she glanced across the hanger; mere minutes left before the launch.

 

“Keep your eyes on your mission, leave the rest to me and everything will play out as it should.”

 

She nodded and lowered her gaze, taking just a few seconds more to steady herself; with so much riding on a simple little tandem strike it was easy for her to let her nerves take over; less easy for her to get them under control again.

 

Ren crooked a finger under her chin and tilted her head back up sharply.

 

“I need you perfect out there. I need you sharp.” His words fell serious and firm. “The Supreme Leader will be watching every move you make from here on out. You need to be better than perfect.”

 

“Always am.” Elara joked, tilting her head even higher in half-serious self-praise. “Nobody flies like me...you said so yourself.”

 

“I mean it.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I need you to prove me right.”

 

“I will.”

 

“Good.”

 

All kidding aside, she did know the severity of the mission at hand. There really was no room for error, both for the sake of taking out a good chunk of The Resistance forces as well as making a good show for herself. She had dangled the bait successfully enough but her positioning was still tentative even with Ren’s endorsement, that much she was certain of enough without needing to be told. Now was her time to shine, and there would be no second chances. First impressions were important, and this chance at a first impression was not going to be one she would let slide through her grip.

 

“All set Squad Lead?” Upswind’s voice cut across the alley of the hangar over echoing barked orders from all sides and the launch of the first wave of fighters.

 

A fresh tingle of apprehension piqued Elara’s mind and she struggled to force it down as soon as it flared. With only just the slightest of glances over her shoulder she gave a wordless nod. She wasn’t thrilled in the slightest to have Upswind as a squadmate, not after his parting comment, but there was nothing to be done and now was the hour.

 

“Alright then...let’s get this rebel roast on the run.”

 

Ren’s eyes traveled from Elara to Upswind and back to her again. He didn’t like the way he looked at her. Friendly, but just a little too much so for someone he had only just met; a little too friendly for someone who had only just made her acquaintance, but a friendliness served with a side of venom, or so it seemed. Given what news and gossip of her had more than likely spread throughout the ship. He knew full well how many questions it likely had raised to have her welcomed back into the forces. He knew full well there were people who would likely be less than pleased to know of her renewed involvement. He knew full well putting her in the position that he had would see to it that there would be resentment. Given the circumstances, however, and given her innate abilities, there would be no other choice. She was an asset to their cause, if nothing else, and because of everything combined there was no other position to have her in. Dissension in the ranks was met with swift discipline and dissuaded at every turn, but that didn’t mean it didn’t happen. Having Elara in such a prestigious position such as his command flight squad was the only way in which he could keep her from falling victim.

 

Ren didn’t like the way he looked at her. It served to remind him he had given her his word that she would be kept safe and secure for the duration of her stay and how he intended to keep his promise. It served only further to remind him that having her fight now would be tantamount to throwing a fresh kill to a den of hungry wolves. He didn’t for second consider the way his back got up could be nothing more than sheer jealousy, that was too simple and common and weak, as unsurprising as it would have been; after all she had spent nearly her entire time on board in his presence and more over his presence exclusively. It would have been only human to feel that gave him some sort of ownership so far; again given the circumstances, the ability he had unearthed in her and the strangeness of the situation, the strangeness of the apparent bond there was between them. It would be only natural, it would have been only natural, only human of him to feel just a little jealous when noting the gaze and the apparent interest towards someone who thus far had been referred to as his pet. But Ren couldn’t consider jealousy being a thing, being a motivation for his distaste and he certainly couldn’t allow it. Not while there were such bigger and so many proverbial fish to fry.

 

 

“Good flying.” Ren bade her, giving her one last reassurance as best as he could.

 

“You’re not coming?”

 

“Not this time...there’s more to be dealt with.”

 

“As usual.” Elara scoffed and rolled her eyes in jest.

 

“Something very important...you’ll be alright.”

 

“Let’s hope so anyways.”

 

“You will.”

 

“Yes, sir. If you say so.”

 

She turned and made to hoist herself into her fighter only to have Ren stop her in her tracks, grabbing her lightly by the arm.

 

“You know what you have to do. Now go and do it.” He told her again quietly.

 

Elara nodded, every bit as fortified and resolute as he had wanted her to be, every bit as fortified and resolute as he _needed_ her to be.

 

“Make me proud.”

 

***

 

The thing Elara loved the most about flying was the silence. It didn’t matter where it was or what the circumstances were, even if it were in the calm just before the most furied of battles, there was always the minutes in which everything was completely silent. Always the minutes when there was nothing to be heard above the hum of her fighter’s engines. Out in the middle of nowhere, an inky abyss of tranquility and solitude. It was the most beautiful thing in the world to her; a place to clear her head, a place to be still, a place to contemplate anything and everything that needed to be contemplated. Miles away from anything and anyone to disturb her. Suspended in some sort of reality where nothing could touch her. It was what she loved most about flying, forever and always; and in part it was quite possibly one of the things that made her so good at what she did.

 

Above all else, it was the silence that fell around her suspended out in space, far above the orbit of any planetary body. But unfortunately, said silence, said tranquility didn’t last for very long on the flight to Nebrus.

 

“Planetfall upcoming Squad Lead.” Upswind’s voice crackled over the vocom and ripped Elara from her safe sense of quiet as they drifted nearer and nearer to their intended target. “ETA of atmospheric breech is roughly two minutes.”

 

“Copy.” She replied flatly. “Once we make the surface, buzz past the front bay of the base. Shake them up and get them scrambling. There’s a com post fifty yards or so around the back. Break off and take it out if you can. Worry about the skimmers if you can’t. There’s not many, you should be able to take them out quickly.”

 

“Roger that.”

 

“Lay down our cover for the ground force, call in secondary squad if you have to but they should fold fast.” She continued. “Hit them hard. They won’t hold up.”

 

“And that leaves you where?”

 

“Covering you. Doing what I do best...” She smirked to herself, taking the best part of the job as hers alone. It was sure to spark a little envy, and it was certainly selfish of her but if Ren wanted a show, if he wanted her to prove herself then prove herself she would. “Flying high with the A-Wings.”

 

“Permission to join?” Upswind offered.

 

“Hit your targets and finish the job...then we’ll talk.”

 

“Copy.”

 

“Shit.” The voice of another female pilot rang out over the air. “Head’s up quad Lead, there’s a bogie coming up on your ass already. He’s out of range but he’s coming in hot.”

 

“What?”

 

Only seconds passed before Elara’s sensor alert screamed to life. And a small flashing dot appeared on her radar screen, fast approaching straight up behind her out of nowhere.

 

“Fuck.” Elara cursed under her breath.

 

“I thought their sensors couldn’t reach this far.”

 

“They can’t.” She growled. “It’s a spy tip off..someone told them we were coming.”

 

“Someone?” A note of skepticism evident in Upswind’s voice even over the static of the vocom.

 

“Not really the time or the place Upswind.” She bristled, not all that surprised at the insinuation but definitely not in the mind to deal with it. “You have something to say, say it back at base ship. Otherwise keep your mouth shut and your head in the game or it’ll be your last, understood?”

 

“Copy...awaiting action command Squad Lead.”

 

“Here comes two more...dead ahead.” Elara’s secondary pilot chimed in.

 

“Damn it...planetfall ETA again?”

 

“Planetfall in sixty.”

 

“Good” She chewed her lower lip and formulated a plan on the fly to get them out of the slightly sticky situation unfolding. “Push forward, storm the base...any more pop up you can lose them in the trees. I’ll hang back.”

 

“Copy.”

 

“Cover you?” Upswind offered smugly.

 

“Negative. I can cover myself.”

 

“Squad Lead?”

 

“You have your command.” Elara bit back at him, never faltering for a second in her plan. “Push forward, full speed _now_. _go._ ”

 

A long sigh crackled through the static. “Copy...I hope you know what you’re doing.

 

“Yeah, you and me both.”

 

Elara sighed and muscled through a fleeting sense of self-doubt; talking herself into doing what she needed to do before her backbone failed her and she caved to a secondary, far less impressive and probably less effective course of action.

 

“Meet you down there.” She assured them and herself at the same time.

 

“Roger that.”

 

In an instant as her wingmen throttled forward and split the approaching A-Wings, Elara pulled back and centered herself.

 

Three against one was bad odds. The TIE fighters were undoubtedly superior in maneuverability to the A-Wings, even at full speed for both of them her squadmates would be able to elude them, and thus leaving Elara herself alone to take them down and deal with the solitary fighter gaining on her tail. Three against one was bad odds by anyone’s estimation. It was admittedly a stupid move, admittedly a risky one, but one worth taking if it drew even a fraction of attention away from the others in time to make a head start on a strike while the transport with the ground team stealthily approached from the opposite direction. It was an impromptu strategy, a fly by the seat of her pants plan, and altogether pulled out of thin air; but it was also a means by which she could test herself, push herself. Ren himself said if only she would let go of her fear she could start to witness her full potential. If only she would let go of her fear she would truly surprise herself with what she could do. If only she would let go of her fear, she could become a force to be reckoned with.

 

Now was the time to let go. Now was the time to take her first footsteps forward.

 

Suspended in an inky black abyss, surrounded by the silence she so adored. Suspended some sort of reality miles away from anyone who could really touch her.

 

Now it would begin.

 


End file.
